Funny Pick Up Lines Novels & Stories

3.5 Stories in one. She hides behind ugly suits and fake names. He's done trusting women. When they meet in a masked sex club, neither realizes they've been fighting each other across boardroom tables for eighteen months. At Taylor Industries, she's Joy Smith—the frumpy CFO who drowns her curves in shapeless polyester and wearing a wig. At home, she's the forgotten wife of a cheating lawyer who hasn't touched her in so long she's starting to wonder if she's broken. When she finds hot pink lace panties stuffed in her couch cushions...definitely not hers, it's not heartbreak she feels. It's freedom. Grayson Taylor doesn't do relationships anymore. Not after walking in on his actress fiancée with another woman. Now he channels everything into hostile takeovers and board meetings, especially the ones where his overcautious CFO fights him on every goddamn acquisition. Joy Smith is brilliant, infuriating, and funny when he pushes all her buttons. But Honey is tired of being invisible. Tired of never having felt real pleasure. So, when her best friend gives her the details of The Velvet Room—Manhattan's most exclusive masked club—she promises herself just one night. One night to find out if her husband's right, if she really is frigid, or if she's just never been touched by the right hands. She doesn't expect the masked stranger who claims her the second she walks in. Doesn't expect the chemistry that ignites between them, the way he makes her body sing, or the orgasms that leave her shaking. Doesn't expect him to hand her an email address with one command: "Only me. No one else touches you."

Meet Emily Collins, the devoted secretary with a knack for mismatched fashion, and Oliver Sterling, the brilliant but enigmatic CEO. Their worlds collide when Oliver, facing an unexpected ultimatum from his grandfather, turns to Emily for an unconventional solution. While Emily dreams of saving a million dollars and bidding goodbye to her corporate life, Oliver's goal is to introduce his secret actress girlfriend to his family. Caught between family expectations and a reluctant girlfriend, Oliver proposes a daring deal to Emily: a six-month contract where she pretends to be his girlfriend. The offer comes with a tempting promise—enough money to fast-track Emily's savings goal. As the two plunge into their fake romance, cue the funny twist—Emily knows every quirk and detail about Oliver, right down to the size of his ring finger, but Oliver doesn't know a thing about Emily. With the lines between reality and pretense blurring, the stage is set for a romantic collision where one is poised to fall in love, and the other is destined to fall even harder.

Natasha Hale only want to do one thing. Drink and forget the world after going through a rough break up halfway through the world Somehow she end up meeting the mysterious James Campbell

On the night they were suppose to celebrate their third anniversary, Maya catches her boyfriend of the time in bed with a woman doing a dance that is old as time itself. She turns to her best friend for comfort who later manipulates her to go out for a night drink which ends up in a beautiful disaster... kissing a stranger perhaps

Ulayah is a mature woman that just turned 30, she is fiercely independent and has never needed the approval of any man. She lives in a town where lycans as well as humans coexist with one another in harmony and so long as these cocksure arrogant savages stear clear of her there will be no issues. She has never and would never dare to consider being with one and has shot down many handsome lycan males. Ulayah has witnessed how possessive these creatures can be. Crude..nasty..vile beasts of men that believe themselves to be far superior to humans because they have a stinky mutt living inside them. How will this lady react when the gorgeous 23 year old bad boy Alpha walks straight up to her and announces that she is his mate? Should be interesting. The last thing she wanted was to hear this pass the snout of any lycan.....especially one that was a smug pup.' This bad boy Alpha is use to getting his own way with all females whether they be shewolfs or human. Alpha Jenson Steel will finally meet a woman that does not see him nor fear him as all others do, and will not tolerate his brash Alpha attitude. She is even more shocked when she discovers 'much to her dismay' that she isn't just mated to one of these heinous creatures....but also to his identical twin brother.

During a typhoon alert, Joyce Lane calls me and tells me to pick her up from her company. On the way there, I receive a text from her. "You don't have to pick me up anymore. I'm going to stay over at Fin's place for a few days." I opt not to start anything with her. Instead, I calmly text back, "Okay." In the middle of the night, Finley Jones, Joyce's junior at work, uploads a social media post that's meant for my eyes only. Joyce can be seen huddling against Finley while feeding him some snacks in the photo. The window outside depicts a storm. The caption writes, "It's only befitting for me to tide out the worst weather with the woman I love the most." I leave a like on the photo calmly. Suddenly, Joyce calls me and demands what that like means. I reply coolly, "It means we're breaking up."

Lorcé Callora, An eighteen-year old, aiming to go to college. Of course to study hard and become successful someday. Mysteriously, the academic girl who always pass gets rejected by every school she applied in. She was devastated until she received an unexpected admission email that changed the direction of the life she thought she would pursue.

Life can be cruel, life can be hard, and one has to keep fighting not to let down their guard cause most battles went through make a person who they are, being proud of your scars is the best. Struggle, Pain and Failure led Ashley, a girl desperate in need of a job to save her dying mother to end up falling into a trap. She got marked as a demon mate and had no way out but the situation takes a funny turn when she realized she is more than a mate!

Pelican Bay Security is full of hot former Navy SEALS, a small costal town in Maine (with a crime problem), and a group of Bakery Girls waiting to cause trouble. When I moved here to set up a new security company as a fugitive recovery specialist, I didn’t plan to find my next-door neighbor breaking into her aunt’s house. I also didn’t expect the random henchmen harassing her for diamonds she insists she doesn’t have.Tabitha is running from an ex-boyfriend, and I desperately want to help. As a former Navy SEAL I have the skills to deal with almost any idiot willing to give his girlfriend a black eye. Her lies, drama, and ex-boyfriend catch up with her and it may not be something I can handle on my own. I just hope if things turn violent, we both come out alive.A fun, humorous romantic suspense series from USA Today bestselling author, Megan Matthews!#explicit #Suggested age 18+Pelican Bay Security is created by Megan Matthews, an eGlobal Creative Publishing Signed Author.

Zephyr Khan, the King of Alchemy, was reborn in his youth. He took the Ancient Draconic Way to refine his body and cultivate supreme sword skills! In this life, he was destined to ascend to the top of martial arts, Even the most gifted one was inferior to him!