Funny Sex Jokes

"Why are you angry?" I asked him. "It's not like we're a couple." He stopped, and stared at me, boring my eyes with his emerald eyes. "If we are…" He paused, clenching his jaw, "then am I allowed to be angry?” I looked at him like he was insane. “Then we'll take it to that level." He continued. "I'm serious. I want you.” Leizel Snow Garcia Waterstrings is not just fierce. She's more than that. Ending up as an ice cream worker in a local ice cream shop, it was her one step of becoming a strong and independent woman. And that's when a cold-hearted stranger came in view. Eion Aurelio Hudson. Out of seven billion people in the world, the two hard-headed people crossed paths, making her "strong and independent woman" facade slowly fall apart. With all the dramas, free food, forgotten birthdays, Robot handling, idiots around, and emotional crisis, will she be able to melt his winter heart with her blazing fire or will this fire be put away instantly? ``` ``` One Blazing Head. One Winter Heart. Two Hard-headed people. A huge disaster. (Book 1 of Hearts Series but can be read as standalone)

WARNING: STRONG ADULT CONTENT/EXPLICIT LANGUAGE 18+ Prince Asahd Usaïd, Prince of seduction and sensuality. He has everything he wants, from the ladies to the sultanate's riches. Only son and child to his parents, he is sure to take over the throne. But he is spoiled, way too egocentric, rude, careless and proud. He hangs out with the wrong people and leaves his name in every nightclub. All these, bother his parents that are honorable people. They come up with the best form of punishment for him. One that is sure to make him change. Will pretty boy survive, living the common life?" A seducer, a sex god, a Prince. Read to discover his adventures and see how he handles the situation his parents will put him in. But most importantly, watch him seduce and prey, until he gets what he wants. 'Who' he wants. (SEXUAL CONTENT WARNING)

Love is the most beautiful feeling in world. A heart eventually falls for a person without any thought. But what happened when a person is made forcefully to love his or her partner. A girl was tied to a chair in the dark room .Her body was covered in bruises and marks. She was whimpering in pain. A man entered the room and sat next to her. He touched her cheek and said," Say, That you love me”. Girl looked at him with blurry vision and said," I will never love a person like you ”. The man get angry and slapped her hard.Girl fall on the floor with a thud. This story is about a 20 year old girl who was living her life happily but everything changed when she caught the eyes the eyes of a buisness tycoon. She tried her best to resist him but failed miserably and tied in the knot of wedding. She was trying to overcome this phase of her life but one night changed everything. She was finding herself now in a more worst condition than before. Her husband tried his best to made the girl fall for him by forcing her and acting violently on her. **Please Ignore the minor error in few of the starting chapters. I will edit it later** Thank you so much for giving this story a chance to read..

Lin Mei Zhen lost all her hopes and dreams with the only one thought, she still had her Husband Zhou Liwei whom she loved. Truthfully, she never got the answer why she loved him, she just loved him till the end. May be, it was love at first sight? But when she saw him having sex with his secretary all hell broke loose, she lost her only ray of sunshine. She felt like her world was surrounded by endless darkness and cold. She met with an accident while running from him. That was how she met an end, and that was how it all started. Zhou Liwei or you may say Jiang Longwei who transmigrated in Zhou Liwei’s body was shocked when he realized, that his new gained wife with this body looked exactly like his sister? The sister that he had abnormal love for, which was beyond familial love. What should he do? Is it to love her or leave her?

18 year-old orphan, Rose Cintilar, wants to fulfill her father's dream of becoming a stylist. She's talented but has the worst luck. When the senior stylist stole her design again, Rose decided to change her fate and apply for a new job: the assistant to singer, songwriter 'Rum'. But why would an international superstar pick a zero for an assistant? Maybe something isn’t right with Rum. Something about him feels superhuman…and Rose is pulled into the world beyond her own; a world of werewolves, the dark whims and the Moon Goddess; and as the Alpha King's mate, Rose must save him from clutches or the dark whims, or the Moon Goddess would fall and plunge both world into darkness. But why would an Alpha king need the help of a mere human? She's not a werewolf... is she?

It was all professional till she discovered that her all-official ruthless CEO boss who sought perfection in everything was a *Stripper!* Billionaire playboy Andre Quinn plays the hearts of women like the king of chess... But in the business world, he makes a pawn of his employees and fires them at the slightest offence. He is unapologetic about his ruthlessness and wears his sex appeal like a duplicate skin. But there will be a pause in his life when his meticulous assistant, Clara discovers his secret which conceals the even darker sides of his life. She has stripped him bare, but will they both lay their vulnerabilities and secrets on one another's feet, starting another arrangement although it might burn them raw?

BOOK 1: COMPLETED BOOK 2: ONGOING TW: DARK DESIRES, VIOLENCE, FORCED AND EXPLICIT SCENES Diego Reyes is the Mexican mafia lord in Las Vegas running a sex club. After finding out one of his most trusted men, Antonio Davis, stole money from him, he kills him and plans to do the same to his entire family. That is until he meets Vanessa, Antonio’s youngest daughter. He makes a deal with her that if she and her sister work for him for six months, he’ll let them go, but he wants her all to himself. He’s determined to make her his little pet and consume her mind, body, and spirit. As disgusted as Vanessa should be that she belongs to her father’s murderer, she finds herself enjoying the lifestyle and wanting more.

When nerdy but cute, Miranda Whitmore's parents decide to move to a place called Howling Cliffs, she is not happy. But there's nothing she despises more in this small town than Nigel Vanderwolf, the hot jock who happens to be the son of the man Miranda's family is staying with. The two bump heads continuously, with Nigel's crude sexual jokes and relentless mockery of her virgin status and Miranda's snappy rebuttals and ability to annoy him constantly. But one night after a dangerous game of Truth or Dare, Miranda becomes lost in the woods where she gets trapped in a cave because of a thunderstorm. Feeling guilty of his part in Miranda's disappearance, Nigel sets out to find her. He stumbles on the girl he finds the most annoying, sheltering in the Forbidden Cavern. The two ensue in a heated argument, disturbing the God that resides there. After Nigel takes Miranda home, the two decide to never speak to each other again, thus going their separate ways, only to wake the next morning to find themselves in each other's bodies. Now Miranda has the upper hand because she has finally learned Nigel's secret. Her neighbour and bully is a werewolf. What will Miranda do with this newfound information? Will she expose to the world that the supernatural is real? How will Nigel cope with this magical phenomenon? Will he be able to switch back in time for the great Alpha Trials? Follow Miranda and Nigel in this epic tale of enemies to lovers in the Werewolf Switch.

Julia loves reading BDSM erotic books. Her husband catches her reading one of those books and then they both try out playing sex games where Julia gets to be a slave and she loves playing these love games with her husband. But will these games affect their marriage? Let's find out by reading how it all started and how it's going!

Book Two of Cruel Intentions Series. This book can be read as a stand-alone, but for better comprehension of the characters, it is recommended to be read after Betrayed the Mafia. Theodore is the second in command of the Irish mob in New York. He is known as a player, use and toss. Theo hates relationships seeing them as useless. Theodore is funny and lighthearted around his friends, but when dealing with business, he is ruthless and heartless. His cold heart always prevails. Theodore is manipulative and a great liar. Theodore is chosen to help forge an alliance between the Irish and the Americans. He needs to marry the daughter of the boss. He takes his job and position seriously and accepts his fate. He doesn’t believe in love anyway, so that nothing will change for him. He will just have to wear a ring and play house. What happens when she is the girl he has avoided for years, the girl he feels the need to protect? He sees her as a weakness. He condones how she lives her life, but the day he allows himself to get close to her, everything changes, and his addiction to her becomes impossible to resist. Theodore is everything Everly has always dreamed of as an online romance novel writer, and she is inexperienced and sassy. The only way she has experienced love is through her books. She lives almost in captivity because of who she is, and Her purity will be negotiable. But once Theodore pops her cherry, he can’t stay away, involving her in a thread of lies and manipulations that she could only imagine as a plot of one of her books.