Funny Sex Jokes

“You can’t love me!” I snapped, tears blurring his handsome face. “Why?” Asher demanded, looking appalled. “Because I betrayed you…” I whispered, my heart breaking apart. “Because I came here to…destroy you.” What happens when the man you were sent to destroy turns out to be your mate and the love of your life? 25 years old Ivy never expected her beautiful life to turn into her darkest nightmare by a man named Alpha Killian Price. After destroying her pack and killing her entire family, except for her father, Killian has an offer for Ivy that could help her piece her life together again. But that offer comes at a price Ivy wasn’t ready to pay. Killian wanted her to destroy GrayCrest, the most powerful pack in the country, in exchange for her father’s life. But how could Ivy destroy the pack whose Alpha was her mate and the love of her life? Her father or her mate…there was a choice Ivy needed to make. But the stakes were too high and time was running out fast. Can Ivy make the right choice before the most brutal war in history claims innocent lives and destroys hundreds of packs in its wake? Sizzling, passionate, funny, and full of unexpected twists and actions… witness a story that will take your breath away!

"You are fucking mine .only i have right to kiss those plump lips . I fucking own your soul. Somia is only Haris's ." Saying this he smashed his lips to mine "Jaana . I might be a playboy back . But its my first kiss . You know according to me lip and forehead kiss is just a symbol of love but I accept it today" saying this he again smashed his lips to mine ................................. "How many kids you want in future?" My eyes widened at her question. Is she for real. "Ooooooo!! you are blushing at the name of kids . So cute!" saying this she pulled my cheeks and suddenly kissed me on my cheeks.She looked down getting embarrassed by her act . She did this unknowingly. I was shocked. .............. She came forward but suddenly she tripped by her dress but I caught her . Our eyes got locked and it seems like the world around us stopped . She fit perfectly in my arms. I can feel her accelerated heart beat. Her rosy lips were the first thing which was making me hard in my pants.Her smell was super intoxicating. ................. We have always heard that there are 6 identical individuals of a person. Is it true? Lets see!! It is always said that opposite attracts. Somia a young girl living in the city of saints, belongs to a middle class family. She is financially helping her father to make the both ends meet. A sweet bubbly self-made girl who knows how to deal with this cruel world. But what happens when she unknowingly falls for a cold hearted devil. Haris a cold hearted devil having several night stands . Love is not his cup of coffee. Join the journey of two opposite natured persons to know what happens when they cross their paths.

Just when things took turn for the worst. Emma Millers got her happily ever after, when Xavier Powers, a man she had saved from death, gave her a new opportunity for life. A nice job and a brand new furnished house to start a fresh with her family.

Cocky, arrogant, and dropped dead gorgeous: That described my boss, Mr. Craft, to a T. His thick hair, cold blue eyes and strong jaw held power in a conference meeting, causing women to melt in his presence. I’ve wanted to confront him on his stubborn attitude and critical demands for employees. I’d bitten my tongue in many scenarios and held in my true feelings over a dozen times. Keeping the peace was necessary until I had enough experience under my belt to move onto bigger and better things. The only problem was; Craft Marketing was the bigger and better, and the longer I stuck it out with him, meant more opportunities would arise. I’d been the only female intern to land a job directly under him, and was also the only one who hadn’t slept with him. I knew he was promiscuous with the tall and leggy blondes that breezed into his office looking immaculate, then scurried back out with mussed hair, flushed cheeks, and unbuttoned blouses. I'd ignore the magnetic pull of chemistry and curiosity between us. Unless it came to my advantage.

At 15, Valeria Startam finds herself in the midst of two handsome and wealthy sons of a billionaire. . Ergon Mickelson is the youngest of two brothers, who Valeria fell in love with. Noah Mickelson is the elder brother of Ergon who hate Valerie's guts for no good reason. Things got ugly when Valeria is to work as the assistant maid in the home of her boyfriend, Ergon. Valeria, though was a maid did not get the treatment deserving of a maid all because of Ergon. This further aggravated Noah's hate for Valeria. He went as far as humiliating her in public and calling her a gold digger. But one night, something strange happened in her bed in the house of the Mickelsons. Ever since that night, it became a regular routine until the day doom knocked on her door in the form of an unwanted pregnancy. Valeria faced the worse part of life when she is rejected by her very own boyfriend who denied ever having sex with her. Would Valeria be able to face the trauma and birth an unwanted child whose father she knows nothing about?

He smirked, knowing he was on the winning side. "So it's a done deal for three months?" He raised his eyebrows, putting his hand forth for a handshake. I looked at the long fingers and perfectly aligned nails and then at his patient face. Sighing to myself I my own hand into his and ignored the tingles that flowed through every nerve as his fingers curled around my hand and shook it lightly. "Yeah three months." "Goodnight then." He winked, removing his hand from mine and turned to walk away. "Hey wait!" I called out, suddenly remembering something. "You don't have my number." "What makes you think that? I have my ways Smith." And with one last wink I saw him take a turn and disappear from my sight. I let out a long breath, leaning on the nearby wall. Looks like I just made a deal with the Devil. * A sarcastic girl, a cocky guy. Throw in some mystery, murder, filthy jokes, wonderful friends, tons of kisses, secrets, surprises, eye-rolls and a killer on run. And you have got yourself a story never read before. ***So grab a cup of hot chocolate, some chips and a warm blanket and get ready to laugh, cry and bite your lip in anticipation. Enjoy!!

WARNING: This is a dark werewolf steamy romance book, featuring Violence, Gaslighting, Group Sex, BDSM, Bondage and more… What a cruel twist of fate! Kiara, a woman with a nice soul in a world full of lies, betrayal, and darkness, but her life is far from peaceful. She was constantly abused up in an abusive home, and when she flees home to avoid being sold to one of the most dangerous wolves on the land, she meets the Alpha Triplets, also known as the Devil's triplets. She flees from them, but fate forces them to meet again, they are not ready to let go of her ever again and with hatred and darkness blooming, who will be the light? What scarifies should be made to mend a broken heart? Will a slave forever be a slave? Will vengeance be preferable? Will Lust overcome Love?

He went to my backside and started trailing his kisses on my back. "I want you to stay still for me Addie. Can you do that for me?" I was moaning my answers, I just couldn't seem to think. "Answer me, Adriana, I will reward you with every answer you give me." ***** Adriana is a very successful business woman. She had powerful, successful, wealthy men and women on her grips. Coming from a dark world of prostitution she knows how to make money. She's the daughter of a very dangerous and notorious business man. She never had boyfriends, she had lovers, she enjoyed sex, one thing for sure, she would never commit. She was daddy's little girl. She loved her father more than anything in the world. ***** Alexander is a very handsome playboy actor. He wasn't always this wealthy. But he was an inspiring actor, and he had fucked his way up the ladder. He'd do anything for power, for money. He craved the envious looks of other people when they saw him bathed in luxury and beauty. He's your typical male specimen with ripples of muscles and face to kiss and licked. He's your sex on a stick and he knows it and had play it to his advantage numerous times before. He was on the top of his game after twenty years being in the industry. That was why it shocked him, when his agent Drew told him to call a very expensive escort service, to fix him a date for his next premier. Alexander was not ready when he called Adriana, her voice gave him the chills down below his belt.

Two men came forward pointing thier guns on Daddy and Bhai. Seeing that, Mom screamed loudly in horror. I wanted to scream too but I had lost my voice with fear especially, when that man's dark orbs were dagered on me. "Wh...what do you all want?! Money? Gold? Anything else....take it...just take it! B....but please... please let them go..." Mom cried out as I just stood thier motionless. I didn't even had the strength to comfort her. Fear was coercing in my veins like blood. "Anything?" The man finally spoke. "Yes!" He looked at me with an amused expression. "Then..." He pointed his gun at me as I was hiding behind my mother shaking like a leaf. "... I'll take this one." My eyes widened. We all looked at him horrified and Mom shielded me behind her. "What's wrong? Didn't you just say I can take anything? Then I'll take your daughter." He winked at me. _______________ Rahina, a simple bubbly girl had it all perfect. A perfect loving family, friends and now a handsome, charming, understanding and gentle fiancé. A perfect man every girl dreams off. All she could think about was being his bride soon and spend the rest of her life with him. But what happens when a mysterious handsome man infiltrates her home suddenly and points his gun at her innocent family kidnapping her in bright daylight? Who is this man? What does he wants? Why is he doing this? Will she be able to fight back to protect her dignity and feelings for her fiancé or...fall deeper into his world, his life and end up falling into something much more dangerous of his..... Love! Dive in to find out....

On the day of our marriage registration, Henry Davis’s first love returned.For her sake, he left me at the city hall.He said it was dangerous at night, so he brought his first love back to our new house.I, who was forced to leave, however, encountered a violent criminal.After narrowly escaping death, I finally made up my mind to leave him.But he cried and begged me to stay.I found it ridiculously funny and said, "Do you think I can accept a jerk like you who has no principles?"