Funny Sex Jokes

Christopher Grayston only wanted to marry to stop his grandfather from asking him to remarry. As a result, he married a girl he met outside civil affairs. He wanted to marry someone with whom they would never consummate their marriage. So he settled for a young girl he had just met standing outside the Civil Affairs Bureau, knowing full well that he wouldn't touch her because she was just a girl. Camila Mendoza fit the bill since she was young, though she was a temptress without even trying. The two signed the marriage certificates and went their separate ways. However, 3 months down the line, fate brought them together. Camila saved a kid and later learned that the boy she saved was her husband's son. Camila never cared about how her whore of a husband conducted his life until she met his son. Everything was fine till his ex-wife came stumbling back into his life. A man who is always making headlines about his sex life and a wife on a mission. Who would triumph?

Part 1 - Fated Mistake: Kira and Arkyn As the daughter of Alpha Kai, Kira knew not to doubt what the Goddess had already carved in stone. A Fated mafia marriage of alliance in play to strengthen the packs. It should have been easy, right? Then why was it so damn hard? Alpha Fenriz's son, Arkyn Vega, made her question everything she thought she knew... Everything that should have never been doubtful in the first place. The Goddess chose her mate, so why does she still feel this way about Arkyn? Why does she still crave the touch of a man who is supposed to be her best friend? When her mate takes the Volkov pack hostage, it forces Kira to pick sides. Does she follow fate and remain at her mate's side, or trust the one she has an unbreakable bond with? Did the Goddess make a fatal mistake? ---------- Part 2 - Fated Desire: Kaia and Elijah Elijah Priest and Kaia Volkova thought their lust-filled tryst was a one-time thing, especially after they found out that Kaia was to marry Arkyn Vega. It didn't matter that they were attracted to one another; it didn't matter that it turned out Kaia was actually Arkyn's family.  It also didn't matter that their one-time thing turned into a continuous thing. It was just sex, right? Or so Elijah thought. Seeing Kaia meet her mate at the Convergence Ball leads him to realize that he's actually in love with the woman who lit a fire in his soul. What happens when he finds out Kaia cannot bond with her mate because of a mistaken bite he left in the middle of a sex-filled haze? Even more so, her bite didn't kill him and his blood didn't kill her... Can a vampire and a werewolf truly be mates?

When Elizabeth Walter gets fired from work, getting home to meet her boyfriend molded to the thighs of another lady, screaming her brains out against the wall, all hell, let's loose. Her once upon a fairytale life is shattered. Having loads of loans to pay back, Elizabeth's once 'alright' life becomes a disaster until she met him. The one whose name strikes fear into the heart of others Zane Creed. A workaholic with no social life, he needs a date for a business dinner. She needs the money for the next day. Just when Elizabeth's love life gets trampled on, A tall manly blue-eyed demon comes crashing in, making Elizabeth cream her thongs with just a look. Elizabeth might just be getting more than she bargained for when she becomes 'The Escort.'

Penelope Samiento ang isang babaeng hindi man gano'n ka talino at kagandahan ngunit siya naman ay puno ng saya, nangangarap ng isang lalaking kinahuhumalingan niya si Darrel Lim, isang vocalista ng banda sa school nila. Suplado pero gwapo at higit sa lahat matalino. Paano kaya kung pagbuklodin sila ng tadhana at itinakdang ikasal para sa isang kasunduan? Magiging masaya kaya sila sa kabila ng pagiging magka-iba?

Alexander is Jeselle's one true love, well as for her. He is the man of her dreams. Lahat ay naganap na naaayon sa kaniyang mga ninaais na mangyari, na para bang kakampi niya ang tadhana na handa siyang tulungan ano mang oras. Nang dahil sa isang kontrata, naisakatuparan niya ang kaniyang tanging pinapangarap na buhay. Nang dahil sa kasunduang ito ay nagkasalubong ang kanilang mga magkakaibang estado ng pamumuhay at mundo na siyang ikinagulat ng isa't isa. At sa kanilang pagpapatuloy, marami silang natutuhan sa isa't isa na naging susi upang sila'y magkamabutihan. Maayos na ang lahat, until that moment when she found out that everything is not as it seems.

“She's rich, he's a bad boy, a burglar. She's submissive, he's tractable. She's caged, he's wild. She yearns for freedom, his life is adventurous. As the tale says "Opposite attracts!" But then there's this rich man who's overly obsessed with the innocent heiress. A sweet, romantic, funny story filled with lots of action and love but with dark side, abuse and Dark Romance.” 18+ Hot Steamy scenes!

Ava, is a woman with big ambitions who will do her best to get them. She is capable of sacrificing anything, including the one she loves. Because of her dream, Ava had to leave. Harris is a man who is unconcerned about his own life. Everyday he will get drunk, as well as play with the hearts of the women he'll meet. When he met Ava, everything changed. He transformed into a decent man for Ava. Misty, on the other hand, is an obsessed hopeless romantic. Envy-filled woman, she was consumed by rage, allowing her to accomplish anything she wanted. Regardless of what will happen, she will do anything to make Ava miserable. Will Harris love be strong enough to wait Ava's return? Will they return to each other's arms when the right time comes? After everything Ava had to sacrifice, can she still choose to be with Harris?

When a young girl moves to a new town with her Uncle and cousins, she has to complete her senior year at a new school. Her love for tattoos, fighting, fast cars and family is what keeps her going. She tries to ignore everyone to make it through her last year but that doesn't last when she catches the eyes of 3 brothers. The Brothers run the school and town they live in. All 3 are drop dead gorgeous and used to everyone sucking up to them. They have girls all over them every week but none have committed. Their love for all things fast, cars, women and motorcycles, are the only thing on their minds. That is until a new girl shows up and doesn't treat them like everyone else. Her smart mouth, tattoos and attitude intrigue the brothers and they can't wait to have her. Will she give into their advances? Will the brothers give up their fast ways?? Just have to wait and see...... **THIS STORY HAS A LOT OF GRAPHIC SEX SCENES AND SEXUAL SITUATIONS. DO NOT READ IF UNDER 18 OR IF YOU AREN'T INTO THIS TYPE OF BOOK**

Book I of the 'His' series. What does Alexandria do when the landlord decides to increase the rent? She looks for a roommate!! Mason King just moved to town and he's looking for an apartment. He comes across Alexandria's request for a roommate. He thought she was just a quiet,shy,nerdy girl. But boy was he wrong!

"Tell me how do you want me to make it up to you??" I asked, putting myself at risk by asking the big bad alpha wolf that question. "I'm not simply interested in having sex with you," He smiled and came closer, running his finger up my neck, "I want to experience everything with you." "How about not wearing any clothing whenever we are alone in this mansion?" I gasped in shock as he murmured into my face. (Content/ Trig*er Warning: The following read consists of extreme profanity, violence, or gore. Subjects like SA and abuse are briefly discussed that might be difficult for some to read)