Funny Tagalog Joke

"I'm gay." My eyes grow so big as I stop breathing, but two seconds later I'm bursting with laughter. "Okay funny," I finally tone down my laugh as I bring myself to look at him again. But he is still staring at me like he had been when he told me that joke. "Wait," uhh, "Really?" He nods, "Really." "You like... guys?" "I fuck guys." Oh wow, you really can't have it all can you. When he checks all the boxes, suddenly there's this big box he doesn't. The most important box, the top on the list. "You're gay or bi?" Because there's a big difference between those two. "I'm gay." "You never fuck a woman?" "I've never fucked a woman." "Then why the hell would you want me to be your sugar baby? To watch you fuck another man's butthole?" He smirks despite my little mockery. "Oh now it's funny?" "It is," he is still smirking, "But no. It's the opposite of what I wanna do." I bring my arms across my chest as I reply in my all-business tone, "Enlighten me." *** 22 year old Estelle is one of the best sugar babies the agency has ever had. She has the whole package, no dick ever gone soft seeing how perfect she is, both her body and personality. But can she sway Owen into the heterosexual group? After being in that homo-pool all this while?

Nate Wolf is a loner and your typical High School bad boy. He is territorial and likes to keep to himself. He leaves people alone as long as they keep their distance from him. His power of intimidation worked on everyone except for one person, Amelia Martinez. The annoying new student who was the bane of his existence. She broke his rule and won't leave him alone no matter how much he tried and eventually they became friends.As their friendship blossomed Nate felt a certain attraction towards Amelia but he was too afraid to express his feelings to her. Then one day, he found out Amelia was hiding a tragic secret underneath her cheerful mask. At that moment, Nate realized Amelia was the only person who could make him happy. Conflicted between his true feelings for her and battling his own personal demons, Nate decided to do anything to save this beautiful, sweet, and somewhat annoying girl who brightened up his life and made him feel whole again.Find my interview with Goodnovel: https://tinyurl.com/yxmz84q2

Five years after the death of his fated mate, Alpha Blade found himself lost in the abyss of life. He had abandoned his pack and chose to lead a mercenary life to avenge the death of Soledad, his fated mate. But even after justice was served, he felt empty, and the need to take more lives had become his way of life. With too much blood in his hands, he became ruthless and cold-hearted, with no direction, no goal, and no will to survive—until destiny decided to play a cruel joke on him and gave him a light witch for a second-chance mate.  Confused and not wanting to betray the memory of his first mate, Blade fought against the new bond the Goddess gave him, only to find himself being drawn more to the young witch who was slowly lighting up the darkness surrounding him. But when lies, betrayals, and secrets come to light, will their bond survive the test of fate, or will the truth spiral them into the darkness lurking behind the shadow?  ***** BEYOND THE DARKNESS: The Alphas Little Witch is the third installment of the INTO THE DARKNESS SAGA. To understand the world I created, I highly suggest reading the first two books, also available on Goodnovel/Buenovela/Meganovel. INTO THE DARKNESS SAGA BENEATH HER DARKNESS: The Alpha's Little Demon BRAVING THE DARKNESS: One Night With the Demon King (attached to the book Beneath Her Darkness - after its epilogue) BEYOND THE DARKNESS: The Alpha's Little Witch ***** For updates and teasers, follow me on my I G and F B  - author.cassa.m / www.facebook.com/groups/cassandra.m.world

Sadie: Unrequited love is a b*tch, isn't it? I have been in love with Alec for as long as I can remember, but he never felt the same way. To him, I was just his sister's annoying best friend. I was sure he'd be my mate, but the moon goddess played a cruel joke on me because Alec found his mate, and it wasn't me. I thought nothing could be worse than seeing the man you're in love with happy with someone else. I was wrong. It took just one night for my life to change. Everyone turned against me. I was shamed, shunned, and tortured for a crime I didn't commit. As if that wasn't enough, Alec banished me, a fate that was worse than death. With a broken heart and soul, I left, vowing never to cross paths with him again. Alec: With a curse hanging over my pack and time running out, I had my hands full. I thought nothing could be more difficult than trying to lift a f*cking curse but I was wrong. It wasn't as hard as trying to convince a woman you hurt deeply to forgive you. Sadie despises me and wants nothing to do with me or my pack. Not after the sh*t we put her through. I want a chance at redemption, but will she ever forgive me? Will she ever let go of the pain I put her through? Turns out the woman I cruelly mistreated is not only my second chance mate but also the key to breaking the curse.

Anastasia Samuel, happy go lucky, bubbly woman with God gifted beauty who is currently in the need of a job. What could go wrong, right? Actually a lot can go wrong after she lost her memory in a tragic accident and is now living a new life for three years without any hint of the past. She is living a miserable life where her mind makes her forget every small event which she doesn't want to remember. Darius Henderson, the handsome and cold hearted devil who is also known as the CEO of the Henderson empire. What happens when Anastasia bumps into him and his blood boils in hatred after three long years and claims to be her husband about whom she doesn't remember anything! She needs a job. He will give her a job, as his personal assistant. And things will start to go down. He had broken her heart before and now he will break her soul but will he be able to cure her by giving his heart to her later? ____ "Anastasia! Where are you going?" Darius asked her in a worried tone while he was kneeling down by her with a worried look on his face. The hatred in his eyes was gone as if it was never there. "To work?" Anastasia asked in an amusing tone as if she was finding the question really funny. "Are you okay? You were just screaming in your unc-... sleep." He asked with a deep frown. Anastasia waved his words off with a small chuckle. "I was having a bad dream about you claiming me as your wife and.. kissed me. Haha, funny right?" She said and laughed out loud like it was the funniest joke ever while Darius looked at her with shock written all over his face.

One last assignment then I can finally find my mate. I have no idea why this alpha is so important but the committee has granted him with the best security in existence, me. I’m not your average wolf, in fact, my kind are often beaten and belittled, but by some divine intervention I had been raised from a lowly omega pup to the ultimate weapon and protection for the werewolf world. I protect the future, the strongest and only the most important of the wolves. I am the Alpha’s Guardian. Of course on the day I am to receive a Guardian the rogues find a hole in our defenses. We have been spread thin and even though Guardians are reserved for the highest of Alphas I am being bequeathed one. What would normally be an honor feels like a slap in the face when she shows up, this woman who claims she was sent to protect me. Female warriors are heard of sure, but a female guardian? This must be a joke and I refuse to be laughed at.

WE'RE BACK! Yes, your favorite cousins are back at it again, but this time it ain't about me. So, buckle up and grab your wine glasses, because it's gonna be crazy! Mina’s POV: Wait a damn minute. Am I in hell? Because if I am, I need to speak to HR. I didn't even get a chance to plead my case, give a reference or something. I'm about to start freaking out because, I'm not a “go to hell” and mean it type of person. I can't do heat for five minutes let alone an eternity. I feel like giving my life to save a baby and a man should have gotten me at least joint visitation six months in heaven and six months in hell. “Mina, are you awake?” I heard the voice quietly say next to my ear. I tried opening my eyes, but it felt like I had sand in them. I decided to try speaking, but only let out something that sounded like a sick animal. "Wait right there let me get you some water.” I heard a voice whisper again. Who the hell is that? I have heard that voice before but couldn't figure out who the hell it was. “! We need to move; they've found us.” The voice came again. Wait, what? Who the hell are they? I tried opening my eyes again, this time I managed to get them open enough to see the figure picking me up bridal style. Then the stranger turned his head to look directly in my eyes and I knew instantly who it was. “Blaze? You gotta be shitting me.” I said, obviously shocked. “Hey, can we join the party? I hope you are serving food because we are famished.” I heard a man say.

The richest man in Hovendale, Stanley Hawk, had been in a vegetative state for three years. His wife, Wendy Crone, took care of him during that time. After he awakened, Wendy caught him cheating through a message on his phone. It turned out his first love had returned to the country. His friends, who once looked down on her, were now poking fun at her. “The swan has returned; it’s time to kick that ugly duckling to the curb.” It was then that Wendy realized Stanley never loved her. She was nothing but a joke to him. One night, Stanley received the divorce papers from Wendy. Her reason for wanting to get a divorce was due to his failing potency. Stanley went to confront her with a gloomy expression on his face, only to find that she had transformed into a gorgeous doctor in a long dress that glistened under the dazzling lights. Seeing him approach, Wendy smiled gracefully and asked, “Stanley, are you here for an andrology consultation?”

Charlotte never imagined that her supposed best day of life would become the worst nightmare when she was about to tell her husband, Sebestian Blackwood about her pregnancy. She caught him with his rumored mistress and best friend in an intimate position. Her wounded heart and hopes shattered into million pieces but she didn’t expect him to throw divorce papers on her face when she thought they could be together again. He accused her of cheating and demanded a divorce. Wasn’t he the one who was cheating behind her back? “Sign these papers and get the hell out of my life for heaven’s sake. I was a fool to fall in love with a woman like you, Charlotte.” He spoke with so much venom. Her heart squeezed seeing pure hatred in his eyes which used to be filled with immense love. “Is it a joke, right?” She asked him and hoped this nightmare would be over. “You made a joke of my reputation, Charlotte. Now save our time and free us from this web of deception you call a marriage.” He broke her hopes again with his harsh words and handed her the divorce papers.

Nick Henderson and Gabriel Swann are so very happy with their love affair. They have had five years of being alone with each other, and they have talked about having a third party in their relationship. Being bisexual they both love women but they both agree it would take someone so special to love both of them. All Millie Ashton wants is a family who loves her. Her mother has zero maternal instinct, and her two older half-sisters, twins and fashion models Pearl and Ruby, use her as a slave! After a massive row over a ruined top, Millie leaves home. On a wet and windy March day, Millie walks into what seems to be akin to a tiger's den. Superstar rock-god musicians Nick Henderson and Gabriel Swann, need a housekeeper. Was looking after the twins a case of better the devil you know, or will Millie find the most wonderful family.