Funny Texts Novels & Stories

Twenty-one-year-old Fay Willmer doesn't like children. But she is forced to become the adoptive mother of a pair of twins belonging to her recently deceased best friend. Little does she know that the children's father is Cade Goldwin, the richest and most powerful man in the town of Axton. At the insistence of the children, Mike and Mika, Fay ends up staying as a nanny at Cade's residence. The twins' mission begins. With their grandmother as an ally, Mike and Mika intend to unite the two people who have always not gotten along and remove the barriers around them.

How can a young, cute man have bad intentions? He just wants to "warm your bed". Open it and experience a whirlwind romance. “I Slept With My Ex-boyfriend's Uncle” When I was drunk, I went to see my ex-boyfriend and tried to get back with him. But when I woke up, I found his uncle lying beside me. “A Brave Jump to My Crush” A love story between an aloof Prince Charming and a funny underachieving girl。 I had been in love with him for many years, and I finally went after him. On the night of our classmate reunion, I pretended to be drunk. I took his clothes off and tried to sleep with him. But I regretted it halfway through.

Three months after my death, my brother is hospitalized due to leukemia. That's when my family finally remembers me after kicking me out. My sister, Ruby, texts me. "Caleb is sick, so get the hell back here for a bone marrow transplant. Mom and Dad will stop holding a grudge against you for stealing money." Dad calls me a few times, but they go unanswered. He curses, "How dare she! She didn't even bother calling since we kicked her out a few months ago!" Mom holds my brother, Caleb. Her gaze is full of heartache. "Jolene is an ingrate. She must be hiding because she doesn't want to save you. I'll find her, even if I have to scour the world!" None of them care about me. They have no idea that I died on the night they kicked me out of the house. When they tossed me out, my head bumped into a stone hidden beneath the snow. The snow was particularly heavy that night. It kept falling and falling. Later, when they finally start looking for me, they find my frozen body underneath the thick snow.

It's 11:30 pm. Home alone, I decide to order some takeout. When the map shows the delivery guy is zero miles away, I receive a call from him. I pick up, only to hear unsettling silence from the other end. I hang up, annoyed. The next moment, the guy texts me, "Sorry, I'm hearing-impaired and unable to speak. I called to notify you to pick up your food as soon as possible. I can't explain things over the phone, and I apologize for that." Then comes another text. "You must've been waiting for a long time. I've left your order at your door, so please pick it up as soon as you can." Just as I prepare to open the door, I see bars of live comments—reminiscent of livestream chats—floating right before my eyes. "Don't open the door! That dude isn't a delivery guy at all! He's a murderer!" "He called you to check if you're a woman living alone!" "Seriously, why are all thriller story protagonists always so dumb? The delivery guy is obviously suspicious, yet she still wants to open the door."

When Damian Voss lets his wife walk in on him kissing his first love against their kitchen island, he believes he's finally free — done with the quiet woman he married in secret, ready to claim the powerful public life he always wanted. What he doesn't know: the woman he just handed divorce papers to carries his child, his most dangerous competitor's personal vendetta, and a surname worth ten billion dollars that was stolen from her before she could walk. For three years, Lila loved him in secret — no announcements, no red carpets, no credit. She covered for his late nights, ignored the suspicious texts, and carried champagne and silk to a penthouse where she planned to give him everything. That moment arrived on their anniversary. He was already kissing someone else when she walked through the door. She signed. She slid the papers across the marble. She walked out without a single tear — and picked up a phone call that changed the shape of the world. Some men confuse silence for weakness. Some women are only quiet because they haven't yet decided what to burn. And some divorces don't end a story — they start one, with a crown, a rival, and an empire rebuilt on the ashes of everything he thought he owned.

Readers said. 'Very funny, I needed cold showers! I dropped my tablet in the bath! Totally original. Outrageous. The goddesses thread is totally original.' Goddesses - is this what 50 Shades should have been about? Connie Grimshaw, is now a successful businesswoman in an international consultancy. She reached these dizzy heights by believing her mother - work hard and reject emotional needs. On a business trip, the dam bursts and her libido refuses to be silenced. Her PA (Dee) helps her reconcile her lascivious feelings by using a series of parables from ancient goddesses. This works until the goddesses land her in hilarious, embarrassing and sometimes, dangerous situations as she develops the vamp in herself. But there are forces at work, which try to mismanage her feelings. Can she defeat the bad boys? Firstly, she has to deal with Greg, the evil misogynist.

Two months into my cold war with Sean, the lover he’d been keeping finally danced her way right up to me, the real deal. Everyone expected me to react the same way I always had before, kicking up a huge scene to stake my claim. Instead, I looked at the intimate photos of Sean and her in the group chat, smiled, and sent them my blessing. [Looking good. Wishing you two a long and happy life.] The chat went dead silent. Sean must’ve sobered up from his little paradise because in the middle of the night, he drove home and pounded on my door. He was furious. “Do you think this is funny?” However, I only met his gaze calmly. “Honestly, after all these years, none of it is.”

*** Mature themes*** *Alaina* Growing up I was always told I was 'special', that the moon goddess had this big plan for me one that involved Selene cursing a guy 5,000 years ago... a plan I wanted no part of. A plan that my entire pack figured out the first time I shifted, a plan that put me in right in the line of danger. I found the love of my life when I was a child, a chosen mate, hoping that I could live a normal life. That was until I went to the all Alpha meeting in Spain and met... him... and my life changed forever. *Ashton* I grew up being told stories of a prophecy. The actual texts have been lost for generations, and at this point they are bed time stories. Stories about what happens if you reject your fated mate, about Selene being born on earth. I never thought it was real, let alone be apart of the prophecy, until I first shifted. Then I met my mate, my strong willed, stubborn, smart, loving, mate. It's been a wild ride ever since. Daily updates until June 19, Bi-weekly updates (hoping for Tuesdays and Fridays) until, at least, September.

After Hours A Small-Town Forbidden Romance Alli never meant to fall for him. Eighteen, freshly graduated, and slinging drinks at the town’s no-frills dive bar, she was just looking for a paycheck and a way out of her quiet life. But then Johnny started showing up—twenty-five, devastatingly handsome, and haunted by more than just his late-night whiskey. Everyone knows Johnny. The town's favorite bad decision. A brooding mechanic with blue eyes that burn and a reputation tangled up with Layla, the town’s resident scandal—and someone else's wife. But when Alli catches Johnny’s gaze from across the bar, something ignites. Something forbidden. Something explosive. What starts as subtle glances and lingering stares turns into late-night texts, a kiss that ruins them both, and a fire that neither of them can put out. Just when Alli begins to believe there might be more between them, Layla drops a bomb: she’s pregnant. Now, Alli must face the truth—was she just a distraction? Or is Johnny just as trapped in his past as she fears? In a town where everyone talks and secrets are currency, love after hours might be the most dangerous thing of all.

My name is Carmela Romano. My wedding to Enzo Moretti, the mafia boss, comes with a price tag of hundreds of millions. The extravagant affair leaves the world utterly astonished. Enzo declares his love with a sky full of fireworks and fills the venue with a million roses. The ten-carat ring on my finger gleams brilliantly, outshining everything around me. Everyone envies our love story. But one day, everything falls apart. After a brutal attack by a rival gang, I suffer a miscarriage. To my disbelief, Enzo is absent, preoccupied with a parent-teacher meeting for Luca Vitale—the son of his childhood sweetheart. After 66 unanswered calls, Enzo finally texts me. "I'm at Luca's parent-teacher meeting. Stop calling me!" "Luca grew up without a father. I'm only helping him this once. There's no reason to make a scene!" Blood seeps out beneath me, and the agony in my stomach is unbearable. I can only sink deeper into despair. The child I've waited for all these years is gone. The snow falls heavier with every passing moment. I close my eyes, yearning to escape this world with my baby. But miraculously, a patrolling officer discovers me, barely clinging to life. When I wake in the hospital, one thought burns in my mind. "I want a divorce. Enzo, I'm done with you."