Good Fat Jokes

"If you won't satisfy me, then don't try to stop me from getting pleasure elsewhere," he said icily, turning to leave. "Will you stop seeing other women if I do it?" She asked sheepishly, facepalming in shyness. She couldn't believe she was considering it. "That will depend on how good your performance is," the ice melted from his eyes and all around him. When Abigail finds herself in an arranged marriage to save her father and revenge on her stepmother and sisters, she was never prepared to fall in love with a jerk like President Tony - the multi-time billionaire CEO of the Wrights Empire, and a playboy, who thought that no woman had the five or maybe six qualities he wanted in an ideal wife. Whereas, Abigail was determined to bring him graciously on his knees, till the only woman he'd ever want would be her, and her alone.

((( Julius POV’s )))Napabangon ako dahil sa bungangang yun. Tinignan ko yung babae.“Huwag kang lalapit sa akin!” Bigla akong ngumit at natawa sa sarili ko. Kung gano'n ang babaeng 'to ay walang iba kundi si Janine.“Seems I have a “good” Morning. Good morning Janine.”Bigla akong pinaghahampas ng unan ni Janine. Ewan parang ang saya eh. Nakalapit ako sa kanya. Pinigilan ko ang kamay niya saka hinila ko siya palapit sa akin.“Bitiwan mo ako Julius!” Hinalikan ko siya sa noo. Natigilan siya sa kakapalag.“Now, your mine.” Saka ko siya hinalikan sa labi.Bakas sa mukha niya ang pagkagulat. Kaya bigla niya akong sinampal. Ngumiti lang ako bilang tugon...“I know. I deserve it.” At muli ko siyang hinalikan.“Julius! Gumising ka nga!” At pinagsasampal ako ni Janine, magkabilaang pisngi. Pinigilan ko ang kamay niya.“Gising na gising ako. Gusto mo pa?” Pak!Aww...yun ang masakit.“Di ako nakikipaglokohan sa'yo!” Ngumiti ako.“Sa tingin mo niloloko kita?”“Ahhhh....hmmm..” Hinalikan ko eh.At bago ako bumangon, hinalikan ko siya sa pisngi. Natulala siya.Bumangon na ako. Tinali ko ang robe ko at kinindatan siya bago ako pumunta ng banyo.Nang makapasok ako, narinig ko ang pagsisigaw ni Janine.Nakita ko naman ang refleksyon ko sa salamin. Ngiting-ngiti na napapailing. Naghilamos ako. Iniisip ko kung sino sa dalawang ama-amahan ko ang gumawa nito.

" Just kill me, Alpha! I can't stand it anymore! " , Ashina growled, wincing in pain. " You know what I call my victory? I can see the hatred in your eyes even when I am f***king you! ", Torvar shouted back, pressing her hard against the desk to claim her for the fifth times in row. __________ Ashina Levitsky was confident about being gifted with a sweet, handsome mate by the moon goddess since she was the most obedient, innocent lady of the pack. Brought up as a princess of her Alpha father, Ashina was praised for her dignity by everyone until the day, she was accused of killing sister who was once mated to the dark Alpha, Torvar Kessler. On his day of getting his revenge on Ashina, moon goddess played a dark twist and Ashina turned out to be his second chance mate. Infamous dark Alpha, Torvar Kessler who was known as a killing machine vowed to kill her slowly after claiming her as his mate. Behind those tortures, pains and revenge, Torvar found himself stuck between the lines of love and hate until he learnt that you can never honestly hate the person whom you love. What more secrets were waiting for them?

My father-in-law, George Lane, suffered from a brain aneurysm and fell onto the ground. The floor was covered in his blood. I calmly picked up a mop and wiped the floor clean. As his daughter-in-law, I gave up on saving him within the most critical time. In my last life, I was the first person who found out that George was injured. I immediately got an ambulance and sent him to the hospital. Before the surgery, the hospital required his immediate family member to sign off the consent form. However, when I asked my husband, Brian Lane to come to the hospital to sign that document, he thought that I was acting out of jealousy because he was spending time with his first-love. He thought I was making an excuse to get him home, so he refused to go to the hospital. In the end, George passed away as he did not receive the treatment on time. Brian did not manage to see George for the last time, and he blamed it all on me. He then hacked me to death. “It’s your fault! My dad was so old, and you didn’t take good care of him as a daughter-in-law! Since you’re not doing your part when he’s alive, then you should continue your duties as a daughter-in-law in hell!” When I opened my eyes, I found myself on the day when George died again.

"Have you done this before?” he asked. I shook my head quickly. “Use your words,” he ordered, his tone firmer this time, sending a shiver down my spine. “No, Daddy,” I answered softly, feeling my body already yearning for his touch. He studied me for a moment, his gaze both intense and thoughtful. Then, a small smile tugged at his lips. “Yet, you did so well. I’m proud of you.” His praise washed over me like warm honey, and I couldn’t help the smile that tugged at my lips. It felt like a little victory I didn’t know I was striving for. “Have you orgasmed before, sweet girl?” he asked in a husky voice. “No, Daddy.” He exhaled deeply, his expression darkening with something I couldn’t quite read. “So, you haven’t come before? Shame on them little boys.” His voice was rougher now, and I saw a flicker of anger in his eyes, like it genuinely bothered him. “I can’t stand knowing that. Do you want to come for Daddy?” When Flora got fed up with the constant mistreatment from Jayden and his ruthless family, she finally asked for a divorce. But Jayden suddenly realized he never wanted to lose her. But was Flora ready to be won back after tasting a life of freedom? Will she return to the man who once broke her, or take a chance on a love that defies all odds? WARNING: This story contains highly descriptive sexual content and explores themes of age gap, domination, submission, BDSM, and praise. All characters in this book are of age, and every sexual activity is consensual. Subsequent chapters may not include additional trigger warnings, so please consider this your warning.

The moon goddess always gets it right, even if it’s not the way we expect. Sometimes we have to learn the hard way that her plan will lead us down a dark path, but the cost may be worth it.. or maybe it won’t. Jessie flees her childhood home in a desperate attempt to find herself, putting her future mate above all else, but does the moon goddess truly have a future of love and joy planned, or will her journey lead her down a painful fall to her own demise?

“Promise me, you will hide her and keep the truth from her. I never want her to know what she is or where she came from.” Esmes mother begged on her death bed as she handed her infant child over to her friends. “Raise her as your own, please!” She had spent years running, hoping to find a way out of the deal she had made with a demon that would cost her not only her life but her only child’s freedom once she turned 18. With her mother gone and her wolf stirring Esme finds herself rebelling against the ties of family and friendship as she nears her 18th birthday. Sneaking out to a party Esme finds herself auctioned in an underground world where mafia reign and rules don’t apply. At least not for the formidable alpha and mafia boss Matteo Accardo, who thrives in the dangerous world of corruption and sin! She may be his mate, but that doesn't mean she gets a happy ending- no one does in the chaotic world of sex, money and power! At least until now…

Claudia had always enjoyed being in the company of Thorsten, her childhood crush. However, Claudia's parents informed her that Thorsten was not her mate and that the Moon Goddess had fated her to marry a man she had never met. She met her fated mate, Alpha Everett, a wolf from a neighboring kingdom, at a moonball celebration. Claudia was offended when she saw her supposed mate having sex right in front of her on their first meeting, and she vowed she would never marry him. After many warnings from the moon goddess, Claudia is compelled to let go of Thorsten. She ended up in Alpha Everett's packhouse, where she was treated as a slave by her mate and his Beta Concubine, Annette. Is Everett ever going to see her as his true mate? What will Claudia do when she develops feelings for one of Everett's most trusted pack members? Will she give in to her desire right in Everett's home?

"You belong to the Demon Kings. They are coming for you. You can't be with any man other than both of them Sabrina!" * * * * * Sabrina earliest memories of her childhood since she was four, was seeing her mother perform various rituals whilst she sat in a circle and watched like a loyal dog. Countless number of times her mother would remind her of her fate which was to be the predistened queen of Ashrea. Twenty years later, Sabrina thinks she has the perfect life sort out for her--a well paying job, a fiancè and a bright future in the press industry where she worked. Her mother's words were forgotten and seen as insane rambling. Well not until the day two god like men showed up out of the blue claiming to be her mates and they were fully going to claim what was rightfully theirs--their demon bride.

What will you do if you suddenly find out that you are betrothed with the king of the alpha gang when you are just a mere human? And it was prophesied long ago when you were not even born.... The two rival alpha kings of two different clans are prophesied to be the mate of the mere human, Ruth who will bear a child with one of them. The child - half human, half wolf will be the king of kings of all era. The two alpha kings - Alexander and Thomas - both want to behold and possess the power whom no one ever had. But was that truly a prophecy for which they were ready to sacrifice everything? Or just merely an old saying? And what about Ruth and Adam who are madly in love with one another in the mortal human world? " Leave me alone! " Ruth screamed with rage and fury. " Why have you taken me here? " Her big beautiful eyes shone with fear when she saw the dark silhouette behind her came to light infront of her. " You...." Looking at the dark shadow, she froze at her spot. " Yes,me. And here you are, my would be bride who will bear my child in her womb. " Crazy laughter broke out the whole castle. " No! Let go of me! Adam! " Ruth screamed when she saw the dark shadow coming directly towards her slow by slow. She tried to get up but could not as she was tied up with the pillar. " Adam! " Her voice went meek as she was fainting gradually, looking at the shadow coming close to her little by little....