Goodbye,my Messy Life Novels & Stories

I let the word hang there, lush and dangerous. He was silent for a long moment, drinking me in - instead of his wine. The noise of the bar faded away. It was just us, the candle, and the explosive idea I’d placed between us. “I’ve never done anything like that,” he finally said, his voice low. “I never thought you’d ever...” He trailed off, shaking his head. “It’s always seemed complicated. Messy.” “Life is messy,” I whispered. “Our life is messy. Maybe a different kind of messy could be good.”

“Which is?” “Disappear properly,” he says. “Don’t make this messy.” Then, like an afterthought: “You always did like clean lines.” The call ends. No goodbye. Just the sensation of a door closing somewhere inside my life. For a long moment, I don’t move. My lungs pull in air, but it doesn’t feel like breathing, it feels like counting. I turn off the water, I walk to the table, and sit in front of the notebook. The pages are filled with the only version of truth I’ve allowed myself to keep: not polished, not coded, not stamped. It’s messy. Human. Mine. It is also a weapon and every weapon has two edges. I flip through it slowly.

Maybe. Dearest Miss Pretty; It's been a couple of years since you're gone and I decided to stop searching for you. I have to focus on my studies and fix my life, you know. My life was a mess and there's no one to blame for this but me. My life had become empty, my life has no direction no more. I don't know, I just felt so devastated when you're gone and the next thing I knew, my life turned miserable.

Or perhaps we’ll create new worlds, new stories, and you’ll join me there, the same way you joined me here. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Thank you for every moment, for every memory, for every laugh, for every tear. Thank you for being here until the end. And most importantly, thank you for believing in love, in family, in forgiveness, in joy… and in messy, beautiful life. With all my love, ...Joycepen P.S. If you ever feel lost, just remember...happiness doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be real, messy, lo

“Okay when you do out it like that, it sounds like my life might actually be a mess right now.” . . TBC ~please leave a gem~

] [I miss you so much! [Without you in Harbor City, everything is so boring. The cafeteria food is terrible. Every day, they serve up some awful concoction like grilled pineapples with mayonnaise. Engineering is so hard. I’m about to throw up from drafting blueprints. The physics professor is just as naggy as our high school teacher. There are so many tabby cats on campus. Can we feed them together when you come over?]

Please. I'm probably really pathetic because I didn't have the guts to face you all and say a proper goodbye. I couldn't look into your eyes knowing I wouldn't be around much longer so forgive me. Don't you dare feel sorry either, I lived a good life, but sometimes there are some demons that get the better of you and drag you to hell.

AMELIA “Stop messing with me! Stop messing with my head.” Exasperated, I glared at him. My whole life was a mess. A clusterfuck. And now this, was what transpired in my life. “That’s not me.” “I swear that was you in another life.”

I hoped they would have some open availability. "So is this one of those trips where we talk about what’s going on or when we pretend there’s nothing going on?" she asked. I glanced at her out of the corner of my eyes but she was looking straight ahead. "I feel like my life has gotten pretty messy and a bit toxic. I’m taking some time to refresh and get rid of things I don’t need anymore. Yesterday I decided I couldn’t have my mom in my life anymore. So we are starting fresh with some self-care and thinking of what else I do or do not need in my life anymore," I replied. It was probably more than she bargained for, but it was honest.

And I bet he heard that. Fuckkkk!!!! Just kill me already. It's better than how messy my life keeps getting.