Harry Potter Quotes Funny

"I'm gay." My eyes grow so big as I stop breathing, but two seconds later I'm bursting with laughter. "Okay funny," I finally tone down my laugh as I bring myself to look at him again. But he is still staring at me like he had been when he told me that joke. "Wait," uhh, "Really?" He nods, "Really." "You like... guys?" "I fuck guys." Oh wow, you really can't have it all can you. When he checks all the boxes, suddenly there's this big box he doesn't. The most important box, the top on the list. "You're gay or bi?" Because there's a big difference between those two. "I'm gay." "You never fuck a woman?" "I've never fucked a woman." "Then why the hell would you want me to be your sugar baby? To watch you fuck another man's butthole?" He smirks despite my little mockery. "Oh now it's funny?" "It is," he is still smirking, "But no. It's the opposite of what I wanna do." I bring my arms across my chest as I reply in my all-business tone, "Enlighten me." *** 22 year old Estelle is one of the best sugar babies the agency has ever had. She has the whole package, no dick ever gone soft seeing how perfect she is, both her body and personality. But can she sway Owen into the heterosexual group? After being in that homo-pool all this while?

Brittany is just looking for a sperm donor. 'Yung kayang mag bigay sa kanya ng isang maganda lahi. But, everything was messed up when her boss Jonathan Montejo offered his own sperm. A never-ending journey of a woman. Who was craving for a child and ended up. Pursuing love she's not prepared for.

WE'RE BACK! Yes, your favorite cousins are back at it again, but this time it ain't about me. So, buckle up and grab your wine glasses, because it's gonna be crazy! Mina’s POV: Wait a damn minute. Am I in hell? Because if I am, I need to speak to HR. I didn't even get a chance to plead my case, give a reference or something. I'm about to start freaking out because, I'm not a “go to hell” and mean it type of person. I can't do heat for five minutes let alone an eternity. I feel like giving my life to save a baby and a man should have gotten me at least joint visitation six months in heaven and six months in hell. “Mina, are you awake?” I heard the voice quietly say next to my ear. I tried opening my eyes, but it felt like I had sand in them. I decided to try speaking, but only let out something that sounded like a sick animal. "Wait right there let me get you some water.” I heard a voice whisper again. Who the hell is that? I have heard that voice before but couldn't figure out who the hell it was. “! We need to move; they've found us.” The voice came again. Wait, what? Who the hell are they? I tried opening my eyes again, this time I managed to get them open enough to see the figure picking me up bridal style. Then the stranger turned his head to look directly in my eyes and I knew instantly who it was. “Blaze? You gotta be shitting me.” I said, obviously shocked. “Hey, can we join the party? I hope you are serving food because we are famished.” I heard a man say.

Nick Henderson and Gabriel Swann are so very happy with their love affair. They have had five years of being alone with each other, and they have talked about having a third party in their relationship. Being bisexual they both love women but they both agree it would take someone so special to love both of them. All Millie Ashton wants is a family who loves her. Her mother has zero maternal instinct, and her two older half-sisters, twins and fashion models Pearl and Ruby, use her as a slave! After a massive row over a ruined top, Millie leaves home. On a wet and windy March day, Millie walks into what seems to be akin to a tiger's den. Superstar rock-god musicians Nick Henderson and Gabriel Swann, need a housekeeper. Was looking after the twins a case of better the devil you know, or will Millie find the most wonderful family.

Harry Payne, a sexy and enigmatic CEO. Harry comes from one of the most important and richest families in the entire UK. He is responsible and organised, he is a businessman without time for nonsense or romance. His last girlfriend cheated on him with his best friend because of his unavailability. Now he is facing a big problem. His cousin's wedding is in three days and he needs to find a suitable girlfriend to attend with him. Harry pays a lot of money to stay out of the headlines, so his family has no idea what he has been up to. As he doesn’t have time for relationships he decides to hire a girlfriend for two weeks. Will he be able to keep it professional or will he lose his calm with the beautiful escort Alice?

"Mr Charlie, your son fought in school again" Charlie's assistant reported, Charlie was shocked, he didn't remember having another son in College again. "You fulfilled your promise, so, I will make you my wife no matter what, and I won't take a no for an answer," Charlie told Margret without mincing words. Margret didn't expect her return to Houston with two of her triplets will be very dramatic, a man she doesn't recognise claiming she promised to give him triplets, and another man who wanted to snatch her children from her. And her other son, who doesn't recognise her as his mother.

Hindi type ni Bernard ang mga babaeng masyadong bata sa kanya. Dahil ang pakiramdam niya ay magiging baby sitter lang siya ng mga ito kapag inaatake ng tantrums. Ngunit may isang babaeng gumulo sa kanya, si Marie, secretary ng dati niyang nililigawan na naging asawa ng kaibigan niya. Naiinis siya dito dahil mapang asar ito, hanggang isang gabi, bigla na lang niyang narealize na pwede pala niya itong magustuhan. At kabaliktaran ng pagkakakilala niya sa babaeng mas bata ang ugali nito, matured at maunawain ang dalaga. Kahit siya ang may kasalanan ay nagsosorry ito. Bigpang dumating ang kangyang first love, si Eleanor o mas kulala sa tawag na Ellue, akala niya, masisira ang telasyon nila dahil dito, ngunit si Marie ay siya lang ang pinapaniwalaan. Kaya naging maayos pa rin ang takbo ng relasyon nila, until makilala niya si Domeng, kahit noon lang niya nakilala ang kaibigan nito, sinakmal siya ng matinding selos, lalo pa at may mga ipinakitang pruweba sa kanya si Ellie na niloloko siya ni Marie. Lalo siyang nagalit sa babae. Ng matauhan siya sa mga nangyari, at nalaman niya ang totoo, parang huli na ang lahat. Kulang na lang isumpa siya ni Marie sa sobrang galit. Ayaw na siyang balikan ng babae. May pag asa pa kaya na mahalin siya ulit ng dalaga? Paano niya mapapatunayan ang pagmamahal dito kung pati mga kaibigan niya ayaw ng makialam sa kanila?

Sext Buddy: [I’d do anything to fuck you right now.] Alicia: [I want you so bad too…really.] During the summer, Alicia has been sexting with a total stranger in hopes that she’d never meet him. At the beginning of college, her mum tells her that they have a guest. She meets the stranger she was constantly sexting. But then, what happens when the stranger is her cousin?

It's funny though to think her one night stand would lead to her joy, her very existence, her son! Being duped by her groom at the altar, is all it takes for Mikaella Sandoval to sacrifice her virginity to a complete stranger who swoops in at the right time leading to a son that binds them

Anastasia Samuel, happy go lucky, bubbly woman with God gifted beauty who is currently in the need of a job. What could go wrong, right? Actually a lot can go wrong after she lost her memory in a tragic accident and is now living a new life for three years without any hint of the past. She is living a miserable life where her mind makes her forget every small event which she doesn't want to remember. Darius Henderson, the handsome and cold hearted devil who is also known as the CEO of the Henderson empire. What happens when Anastasia bumps into him and his blood boils in hatred after three long years and claims to be her husband about whom she doesn't remember anything! She needs a job. He will give her a job, as his personal assistant. And things will start to go down. He had broken her heart before and now he will break her soul but will he be able to cure her by giving his heart to her later? ____ "Anastasia! Where are you going?" Darius asked her in a worried tone while he was kneeling down by her with a worried look on his face. The hatred in his eyes was gone as if it was never there. "To work?" Anastasia asked in an amusing tone as if she was finding the question really funny. "Are you okay? You were just screaming in your unc-... sleep." He asked with a deep frown. Anastasia waved his words off with a small chuckle. "I was having a bad dream about you claiming me as your wife and.. kissed me. Haha, funny right?" She said and laughed out loud like it was the funniest joke ever while Darius looked at her with shock written all over his face.