Here I Go On My Own Novelas e Histórias

"But I think I was mostly angry at myself." "Why?" "Because I was jealous." Alex looked down at his plate. "You found someone. Someone who looks at you like you're the only person in the world. And I've been alone for so long, and I thought—I thought if I couldn't have that, then you shouldn't either." Damian reached across the table and took Alex's hand. "You'll find someone." "Maybe." "Not maybe. You will." Alex squeezed his hand. Then he pulled away and wiped his eyes with his sleeve. "Okay. Enough feelings. What's the plan for today?"

Not seeing him was making me anxious, and I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself. "Focus," I muttered under my breath, willing myself to concentrate on the task at hand. I could do this. There was no time to dwell on what-ifs—not when every second counted. I had to prove myself, even if it meant doing so alone. My fists were clenched and ready. I could still turn this around. I’m strong enough on my own.

I was going to find a way to stay with my pack. I didn’t need him. I didn’t need anyone. I was going to be okay on my own.

But now she has said it. I nodded, “Alright mom. I should go now.” I turned my back at them, taking long strides as I walked to the way that was paved in the middle of the crowd, for easy passage. “Do you want me to come with you?” I heard my mom call out just before I had gone far. I turned halfway, shaking my head at her. “I’ll be fine on my own.” I could still feel Jessie’s eyes on my back as I walked further away. “Do you really believe it was just a headache?” Jessie’s voice came in the form of a whisper, worry in her tone.

He wants more of an explanation than that. I sigh. “I’m going to be on my own very soon. I have to be able to do things for myself.” “You’re not on your own yet,” Beau says. I shake my head and collect my notebook. Beau isn’t going to understand, no matter what I say. “I’m just going to go down there and wait,” she says. “I need to get this handled.” Beau doesn’t say anything as I head out the door, but I can feel the weight of his gaze on me.

She would read into things I’m not ready to define. She would hear the smallest hesitation in my voice and turn it into something bigger than it is. And I don’t have the energy for that. Not tonight. Not over this. I exhale slowly and place the phone back on the table. Decision made. I won’t call anyone, because I don't need to. Because I can handle this on my own. I always do. I walk toward my room, my steps steady, my mind already shifting into resolution mode. I need to sleep.

Everyone wants their fated mate, I know that, but i don’t think the moon goddess has blessed me. “I’m cursed, aren’t I? I’m never going to be safe, or happy or wanted.” I look around my room, this is the safest I’ve felt in years. Perhaps being on my own is the answer. “Let’s do it.” I jump up with forced enthusiasm and start stuffing my clothes into my bags.

She would read into things I’m not ready to define. She would hear the smallest hesitation in my voice and turn it into something bigger than it is. And I don’t have the energy for that. Not tonight. Not over this. I exhale slowly and place the phone back on the table. Decision made. I won’t call anyone, because I don't need to. Because I can handle this on my own. I always do. I walk toward my room, my steps steady, my mind already shifting into resolution mode. I need to sleep.

I won't. Furthermore, I'm done letting expectations other than my own color my life. Determine my mood and choices and who I am. I'm done being pinned down by the past and the needs of a child. I'm a grown up now and I'll stand up for myself. On my own two feet.

I need to choose, and I’m choosing myself. Hawaii is just the beginning. It’s the first step toward a life that’s truly mine, where I’m not defined by my relationship with Adam, or by anyone else. It’s time for me to stand on my own, to be the woman I’ve always wanted to be. As much as it hurts, as much as I wish things could have been different, I know that this is the only way forward. I just hope that when the time comes, I’ll have the courage to see it through.