Actually I Was There Alone Novels & Stories

Liam walks back to me, and pulls me into him, needing the closeness right now. For some reason, I didn’t consider I’m not alone in this. I wasn’t the only person who loved my mom, that’s clear to me now as I look around and see everybody here. I may have been her only daughter, but I’m definitely not alone.

Right before it got sour. As I walked upstairs, I was reliving the moment all over again, but this time, instead of having Alexander by my side and those helpers all surrounding us and helping us to take things upstairs, I was alone. It did not occur to me ever how someone could feel so alone, even in a full room.

That evening, I attended an event alone. Not because Adrian asked me to. Because I chose to. The looks came, predictable and curious. Questions lingered unspoken. I felt them slide over me like a current I’d learned to navigate. “You’re glowing,” someone said lightly. I smiled. “I’m grounded.” That felt truer. When I returned home later, Adrian was waiting in the living room—not pacing, not tense. Just present. “You didn’t tell me you were going out,” he said. “I didn’t think I needed to.”

And my heart clenched at the bitter truth. Because yeah, I already figured out that no one was coming for me. No one. I'm fucking alone.

“You don’t have to do everything alone.” “I know,” I said. “But sometimes alone is the only way I remember who I am.” “You don’t have to be alone with me in the room to remember that,” he said. The words landed somewhere in my chest that made me flinch and smile at the same time. It was a small thread and we’d both started pulling it. I didn’t know if it would fray or hold. Right now, it existed, and that was enough. We walked out together into the wet air. The world hummed with its own life: cars, distant music, someone laughing too loud at a bar. For a moment, everything else fell away.

I whispered. At least then… I wouldn’t have to face all of this. At least then… I wouldn’t feel like I was being pulled in every direction. At least then… I wouldn’t feel so alone. My eyes lowered slightly, my thoughts drifting. Because right now… That was the truth. I was alone. Completely. And no matter how much I tried to convince myself otherwise… Nothing changed that. Suddenly— A knock sounded on the door. My body stiffened immediately. The sound echoed louder than it should have.

But could not see him. I was all alone there, when that scoundrel hit me on my head. I had no one along with me, except him. As it is the people who were present there were in single digit. Moreover, rarely did they care about the near surrounding around them. It was not at all a matter of concern for them. I was unconscious then. Clueless about the activities that took place thereafter. After that I found myself in my room. Hopeless and Clueless. Downhearted!

This time, I went alone. I want to be precise about what I mean by that: Kael was at the boundary, and Aldric and Helena were with her kit. Giga, recovered enough to be mobile if not yet fully operational, had insisted on being present, and I'd given up arguing after the second attempt. They were all there. But inside the boundary, into the Realm itself, I went by myself. Kael had asked if he should come. “No,” I'd said. “Why?” I'd had to think about the honest answer. “Because what I need to say to him, I need to say as his mother. Not as his mother and his father together. Not as a team. Just me.”

I close the door behind me so he doesn't see Hansel. I hear him kicking more chairs but I continue walking away from the love of my life to my greatest enemy. "What were you doing there?" he says, walking towards me. "I needed to find a quiet place to breathe," I cross my fingers that he doesn't check the room. "Is that it?" he asks, looking at the direction of the room. "What else? It is not like anybody would miss me," I retort which makes him look at me. "Honestly you could have a wedding by yourself, and nobody would have cared," I have never felt as alone and lonely as I have felt today.

Matteo stood there, hands in his pockets, watching as I pulled away. And for the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel so alone.