Hilarious Sarcasm Quotes

Lara Dela Cruz was a normal girl—well, normal in the sense that she was an overworked call center agent who hated her boss, loved iced coffee, and had mastered the art of sarcasm to survive the horrors of capitalism. But one night, while rushing home, she slipped on a puddle (thanks to her horrible luck) and hit her head hard on the pavement. When she woke up… she wasn’t in her world anymore. Instead, she found herself in a medieval kingdom, in the middle of a chaotic slave auction. And before she could even scream in protest, she was bought by the most feared man in the entire empire—Duke Alistair Von Nacht, also known as the Tyrant Duke. Now, instead of dealing with rude customers, she had to deal with an emotionally constipated warlord who could kill her with a flick of his fingers. But what’s worse? She might be falling for the grumpy tyrant.

Readers said. 'Very funny, I needed cold showers! I dropped my tablet in the bath! Totally original. Outrageous. The goddesses thread is totally original.' Goddesses - is this what 50 Shades should have been about? Connie Grimshaw, is now a successful businesswoman in an international consultancy. She reached these dizzy heights by believing her mother - work hard and reject emotional needs. On a business trip, the dam bursts and her libido refuses to be silenced. Her PA (Dee) helps her reconcile her lascivious feelings by using a series of parables from ancient goddesses. This works until the goddesses land her in hilarious, embarrassing and sometimes, dangerous situations as she develops the vamp in herself. But there are forces at work, which try to mismanage her feelings. Can she defeat the bad boys? Firstly, she has to deal with Greg, the evil misogynist.

The perpetually 17-year-old Rose Cristian has resurrected. Again. She has to. Otherwise, the evil witch Joanna would succeed in ending the world. Rose isn't worried, though, she has vanquished the enemy several times before and will do so again. Only this time, Joanna's become more powerful and it might be Rose's first loss in their 500-year-old war. That is unless Rose gains access to an ancient curse that's fatal to the witch. The catch? She has to marry the mysterious and brooding Jericho in order to activate the curse. Despite an obvious physical attraction, Rose just can't seem to like her husband and he seems to feel the same. So it's always sarcasm and fistfights whenever they're together. Add into the mix her newfound warrior team: the morose werewolf Ty and the clumsy wizard Trick. Will Rose succeed in her task this century or will she finally breathe her last?

"Wait let me get this straight, you want me to get fat?" Cara does not know if she should be offended or threatened. Was this his grand plan to make her pay for the scene she caused? It's nuts. "Pregnant, so yeah," "You are going cuckoo, I am leaving." "A million dollars which you can use for payment of your mum's treatment and the rest, I don't care what you do with it." Cara stops to she process his words. ~~~ What happens when the billionaire meets one of the craziest girl on the planet? Well, for sure there's gonna be; Publicity stunts, hilarious arguments, living together Fake relationship, surrogacy, sex and many more. But is there gonna be love? There's only one way to find out..... WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS MATURE THEMES AND GRAPHIC LANGUAGES, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!! Cover by: @quirksofchole

Waking up with boobs, beauty, and deadly lightning powers wasn’t on Abby’s bingo card—but then again, neither was dying of a terminal illness and reincarnating as a bullied noblewoman in a magical kingdom. Now Lady Abby MacMayer has one goal: live loud, live free, and never be a victim again. With a sword in one hand and sarcasm in the other, she shocks the realm—literally—and catches the eye of the kingdom’s most powerful and brooding mage, Duke Alaric. He’s duty. She’s chaos. He trains her to control her power. She ruins his peace of mind. The sparks? Not just magical. But when a war brews, a dungeon rift opens, and a prophecy threatens the man she loves, Abby vanishes in battle… only to return years later with no memory and no magic. Everyone believes she’s lost. Only the queen knows she remembers everything—and is hiding the truth to protect Alaric from a fate worse than heartbreak. Lightning may strike twice... but love? Love will burn through time, lies, and destiny itself.

“I am Alora Printer, Luna of the SilverClaw Pack and I demand you release me now!” I started, and those thick slashed brows raised in amusement. “Now, isn't that a delight? A Luna, caught in my rusty little cage with ugly metallic shackles around your fancy royal hands. Should we be afraid, Your Highness? Borrow weapons from our neighbors and sharpen our fangs as we await our impending doom?” His sarcasm was insulting, and had I not been in chains, I might have smacked him across the face for daring to mock me. ******** Betrayed by her husband, who heartlessly sent their five-year-old daughter into the forest to pick fruits for his mistress, Alora seeks vengeance, after her little girl is torn to shreds but her quest is derailed when Randall, the Alpha of Night Terrors, captures her. As ancient secrets unfold, Alora must choose between revenge and redemption, and decide if her sworn enemy is her greatest foe or soulmate.

While I was tangled with my boyfriend in bed, I heard violent thumps coming from the door outside. I opened my eyes in a daze. "Is… Is someone knocking on the door…?" The man nibbled my earlobe, his voice hoarse and slurred, "Must have been the wind, baby…" In front of my eyes, the comments flew past. [Sweetie, look at the man in front of you a little closer, won't you?] [This is hilarious! The MC thought the contract only works one-on-one, but he forgot he had a twin brother from the very same bloodline, haha!] [Heh! Why just one brother if you can have both? She won't have to worry about going hungry ever again. What a lucky girl!] As my brain worked to process the information, a man's trembling roar came from outside the door, "Hyde, you scumbag! Get out here right now!"

"You will pay for that debt, Richy Lane. With your body..." -Azazel Reedan Fontana *** Hindi akalain ni Richy Lane Dizon na ang natitirang mana na lamang niya mula sa kaniyang yumaong ama ay ang malaki nitong pagkakautang sa bilyonaryong si Azazel Fontana. Lucky for them, please note the sarcasm, Azazel is obsess with her twin sister, Richy Lou. And as a payment for their father's debt, her twin needs to marry the cold and ruthless billionaire. Iyon nga lamang, sa araw ng kasal ay tumakas ang kaniyang kapatid at nakipagtanan sa nobyo nito, na siyang hudyat ng pagkasira ng kaniyang buhay. Dahil upang mapunan ang kahihiyan na ginawa ng kapatid, siya ang kinaladkad ni Azazel sa simbahan upang pakasalan! Ngayon hindi lamang ang utang kailangan niyang harapin, kundi pati na rin ang araw-araw na galit ng kaniyang asawa.

Tough, self-willed, silly and not so awkward. Audrey is a young college student is determined to pass through college with good grades. No drama, no complications. With her best friends in the same college, she couldn't have been more happier. It was like having her safe circle around. Everything was going according to plan till Pretty boy, basketballer, Enzo Santana walks in. He's bold, effortlessly cool, Handsome to the core, with a panty dropping smile and a voice that could make any lady wet without having to try. Now here's the deal, he wants her to tutor him and she doesn't want any boy drama. How long will she be able to resist his charms and act oblivious to him. Because there's one thing about Enzo, what he wants, he gets. And as for her, it will be a cold day in hell before she gets her heart broken. If you love humor, sarcasm, romance, friendship and eternal war against goofiness, then this is definitely the book for you.

Feisty, witty and assertive, Wynn Mayfield speaks her mind and refuses to settle for anything in life- especially men. She is nicknamed the Romance Widow because of her list of standards topped by fictional men- a list she uses as a weapon against any chance of romance. Life is going pretty well for her, and she couldn't be more satisfied. That is, until Ethan Sterling; her highschool bully and first love- the one responsible for her worst heartbreak- shows up and turns her world upside down with a confession of love. Gentle, warm and innocently charming with an unshakable optimism, Ethan Sterling is anything BUT the bully she knew in highschool. Wynn wants him gone, but he is a formidable foe. Determined to win her over, he challenges her list: He will prove his love by beating the standards set by her favourite fictional men. Witty banters, a chance for revenge, hilarious fails and romantic tension. Will Ethan succeed in capturing Wynn's heart?