Hilarious Sarcasm Quotes Novels & Stories

His Sister's Boyfriend Cole Ashford is rich, ruthless on the ice, and used to getting what he wants. The one thing he can't have? His sister's boyfriend. Jay Menisa works double shifts, designs logos for scraps, and doesn't owe anyone a smile. He's dating Maya sweet, trusting, wonderful Maya. But from the first dinner, Cole and Jay lock into something that isn't quite hate. It's stares that last too long. Sarcasm that masks hunger. Accidental touches that leave both of them breathless. Cole tries to bury it. He's a hockey captain with an NHL future. He can't want a man. He can't want her man. But every time Jay laughs, every time those calloused hands wrap around a coffee cup, Cole's resolve cracks a little more. Jay knows better. He's not rich. He doesn't

Readers said. 'Very funny, I needed cold showers! I dropped my tablet in the bath! Totally original. Outrageous. The goddesses thread is totally original.' Goddesses - is this what 50 Shades should have been about? Connie Grimshaw, is now a successful businesswoman in an international consultancy. She reached these dizzy heights by believing her mother - work hard and reject emotional needs. On a business trip, the dam bursts and her libido refuses to be silenced. Her PA (Dee) helps her reconcile her lascivious feelings by using a series of parables from ancient goddesses. This works until the goddesses land her in hilarious, embarrassing and sometimes, dangerous situations as she develops the vamp in herself. But there are forces at work, which try to mismanage her feelings. Can she defeat the bad boys? Firstly, she has to deal with Greg, the evil misogynist.

"Wait let me get this straight, you want me to get fat?" Cara does not know if she should be offended or threatened. Was this his grand plan to make her pay for the scene she caused? It's nuts. "Pregnant, so yeah," "You are going cuckoo, I am leaving." "A million dollars which you can use for payment of your mum's treatment and the rest, I don't care what you do with it." Cara stops to she process his words. ~~~ What happens when the billionaire meets one of the craziest girl on the planet? Well, for sure there's gonna be; Publicity stunts, hilarious arguments, living together Fake relationship, surrogacy, sex and many more. But is there gonna be love? There's only one way to find out..... WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS MATURE THEMES AND GRAPHIC LANGUAGES, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!! Cover by: @quirksofchole

The perpetually 17-year-old Rose Cristian has resurrected. Again. She has to. Otherwise, the evil witch Joanna would succeed in ending the world. Rose isn't worried, though, she has vanquished the enemy several times before and will do so again. Only this time, Joanna's become more powerful and it might be Rose's first loss in their 500-year-old war. That is unless Rose gains access to an ancient curse that's fatal to the witch. The catch? She has to marry the mysterious and brooding Jericho in order to activate the curse. Despite an obvious physical attraction, Rose just can't seem to like her husband and he seems to feel the same. So it's always sarcasm and fistfights whenever they're together. Add into the mix her newfound warrior team: the morose werewolf Ty and the clumsy wizard Trick. Will Rose succeed in her task this century or will she finally breathe her last?

Waking up with boobs, beauty, and deadly lightning powers wasn’t on Abby’s bingo card—but then again, neither was dying of a terminal illness and reincarnating as a bullied noblewoman in a magical kingdom. Now Lady Abby MacMayer has one goal: live loud, live free, and never be a victim again. With a sword in one hand and sarcasm in the other, she shocks the realm—literally—and catches the eye of the kingdom’s most powerful and brooding mage, Duke Alaric. He’s duty. She’s chaos. He trains her to control her power. She ruins his peace of mind. The sparks? Not just magical. But when a war brews, a dungeon rift opens, and a prophecy threatens the man she loves, Abby vanishes in battle… only to return years later with no memory and no magic. Everyone believes she’s lost. Only the queen knows she remembers everything—and is hiding the truth to protect Alaric from a fate worse than heartbreak. Lightning may strike twice... but love? Love will burn through time, lies, and destiny itself.

“I am Alora Printer, Luna of the SilverClaw Pack and I demand you release me now!” I started, and those thick slashed brows raised in amusement. “Now, isn't that a delight? A Luna, caught in my rusty little cage with ugly metallic shackles around your fancy royal hands. Should we be afraid, Your Highness? Borrow weapons from our neighbors and sharpen our fangs as we await our impending doom?” His sarcasm was insulting, and had I not been in chains, I might have smacked him across the face for daring to mock me. ******** Betrayed by her husband, who heartlessly sent their five-year-old daughter into the forest to pick fruits for his mistress, Alora seeks vengeance, after her little girl is torn to shreds but her quest is derailed when Randall, the Alpha of Night Terrors, captures her. As ancient secrets unfold, Alora must choose between revenge and redemption, and decide if her sworn enemy is her greatest foe or soulmate.

While I was tangled with my boyfriend in bed, I heard violent thumps coming from the door outside. I opened my eyes in a daze. "Is… Is someone knocking on the door…?" The man nibbled my earlobe, his voice hoarse and slurred, "Must have been the wind, baby…" In front of my eyes, the comments flew past. [Sweetie, look at the man in front of you a little closer, won't you?] [This is hilarious! The MC thought the contract only works one-on-one, but he forgot he had a twin brother from the very same bloodline, haha!] [Heh! Why just one brother if you can have both? She won't have to worry about going hungry ever again. What a lucky girl!] As my brain worked to process the information, a man's trembling roar came from outside the door, "Hyde, you scumbag! Get out here right now!"

Feisty, witty and assertive, Wynn Mayfield speaks her mind and refuses to settle for anything in life- especially men. She is nicknamed the Romance Widow because of her list of standards topped by fictional men- a list she uses as a weapon against any chance of romance. Life is going pretty well for her, and she couldn't be more satisfied. That is, until Ethan Sterling; her highschool bully and first love- the one responsible for her worst heartbreak- shows up and turns her world upside down with a confession of love. Gentle, warm and innocently charming with an unshakable optimism, Ethan Sterling is anything BUT the bully she knew in highschool. Wynn wants him gone, but he is a formidable foe. Determined to win her over, he challenges her list: He will prove his love by beating the standards set by her favourite fictional men. Witty banters, a chance for revenge, hilarious fails and romantic tension. Will Ethan succeed in capturing Wynn's heart?

Wayne Blackstone was starting to get bored with the outrageous things he always did for his birthdays. This time around, he only wanted something simple and organized a private pool party. He also decided to give himself a little treat and that was how Rose Cohen ended up on his doorstep and in his arms. Rose was no stripper but she couldn't let her best friend down and the promise of an equal cut from the pay check sealed her decision to deceive Wayne. Wayne is fascinated by the beautiful and hilarious woman and wants her in spite of all the secrets she reveals about her situation. Rose feels guilty about how Wayne make her heart skip and tries to do all she can to keep things professional; even when he offers her a job she cannot refuse. But when there is betrayal on all sides, can Rose really trust Wayne and all the sweet promises he whispers in her ears?

"I used to be the well-respected Lady Kara. Everyone feared me! No one beneath me dared to so much as look me in the eye or remain sitting whenever I walked into a room, but now, I've lost everything! My life, my status, my man, all gone! I've become a nobody all because of that bitch who suddenly came and stole everything from me. I hate her so much!!!" It seems the battle she fought so hard for had been lost by Omega Kara, and she is now left to rot and suffer in a cruel world full of people just like her former self. But does the goddess give second chances? Is it possible for the darkest and evilest of hearts to turn a new leaf and become pure and white as snow? With all of her past behaviours, Kara was deemed the devil herself; now it's time for her to pay for her crimes and receive her dose of the same pain and suffering she caused others. But what will happen when the moon goddess decides not just to give her another chance to mend her ways but also an unexpected mate? The man whom she hated the most. Another adventure awaits in The Beta's Unexpected Mate (Book 2 of the werewolf mate series). Book 1- The Alpha's Hated Slave Mate Book 2- The Beta's Unexpected Mate For updates on character reveals and character quotes, as well as all of my books, follow my Facebook page, Eyitee's library.