Hilarious Sarcasm Quotes

"Why did you leave the party in such a hurry earlier?" Ignoring her sarcasm, Kaleb changed the subject. He just had to ask! The audacity he had! Sasha smirked. "Did you want to enjoy seeing the girl you just a few minutes ago making a friendly chat with your girlfriend?" she snapped, her wound reopened. "Oh, so you left because of Claire?" Again, Kaleb's voice was mocking. "No, I left because of me," Sasha recoiled, and it was her stupidity sending him a text. "And what about you and Samson? I see the way he looked at you at the party. He seems to really like you and the both of you seem really familiar with each other. What do I make out of that?" Kaleb sounded different, odd even. —---------- When Kaleb Luthor decides to move back to the town he grew up in, Sasha Sullivan is bombarded with a lot of emotions. This is a guy she has had a crush on for as long as she can remember, and this is her chance to make him see her more than just his sister's best friend. But as she gets closer to Kaleb, Sasha realizes that he's a totally different guy from the one she has built up in her head, but she still can't let him go. A one night stand was all she needed… But she isn't prepared for the consequences that one night could bring…. And what an affair with Kaleb Luthor would do to her friendship with her best friend, Tilly Luthor.

“Is that a threatened kitten?” he asked, amused, What? I snapped at him, pissed, “No, Asshole. If it were, you would already be dead,” I added, feeling the bolting rage rising within me. “Oh…” he smirked as he traced my jaw with his thumb, “I’m starting to like you more and more,” he said with a devilish grin, I froze in place, “Oh really? Well, too bad, ‘LUCIAN,’ cause I don’t give a fuck,” “Hahaha, you’re hilarious Mira,” he spat out as he took a seat on the mattress, I moved backward, staying far away from his reach, His eyes remained on me with every step I took. I turned angrily, “Is there something you want, husband?” And asked irritated, “Yes, in fact, there are a lot of things I want. But why don’t you start by explaining to me what you meant by ‘your man?’ huh?” he asked, and this time I could see the seriousness in his eyes, even when he tried to hide it. What will Mira do after four years of returning home, only to find out that she was traded off by her own father? A secret they kept hidden from her. Contracted: Love in the Shadow" Narrates a story filled with family betrayal and a passionate romance that totters at the edge of danger and desire. Will Mira be taken over by the darkness within her, or will she find the strength with love by her side to overcome the challenges that threaten to break her?

She’s loud. He’s cold. She believes in happy endings. He doesn’t believe in love at all. Sa mundo ng luxury, deadlines, at perfection, siya ang lalaking hindi marunong ngumiti. Cesar Araneta, 35, CEO ng Luxe Life Magazine, gwapo, matalino, at mayaman — pero kilalang pusong bato. Para sa kanya, ang feelings ay sagabal, at ang pag-ibig ay walang lugar sa success story niya. Hanggang dumating si Gabriela “Gavine” Gutierrez, isang Gen Z aspiring writer na kasing ingay ng alarm clock at kasing saya ng kape sa umaga. Masayahin, palpak minsan, pero may tapang at puso.Hindi siya intimidated sa suplado niyang boss sa katunayan, crush pa nga niya ito simula pa college! Ngunit isang viral post ang gugulo sa tahimik na buhay ni Cesar. Ang “Heartless but Handsome Boss” article ni Gavine ay magpapainit hindi lang ng internet, kundi pati ng opisina ng Luxe Life. But when her “Heartless but Handsome” post goes viral, their worlds collide in the most chaotic, hilarious, and unexpectedly romantic way. Pero paano nga ba magtatagpo ang dalawang magkaibang mundo? Siya, mayaman, sikat, at sanay na lahat sumusunod. At siya, simpleng dalaga lang walang pangalan sa lipunan, pero may pusong kayang umintindi kahit sa pinaka-malamig na tao. “You called me heartless.” Can a cheerful nobody melts the heart of a man who thinks love is overrated? Maybe love isn’t overrated after all — maybe it just needed the right kind of disaster to begin.

[WARNING: THIS BOOK IS EXTREMELY DARK] - "Hello there, blonde!" A voice drawled, carrying the same disturbing charm that always sent chills down her spine. Scarlet gasped and her eyes widened in absolute terror to find herself staring at the face that haunted her nightmares. Tears spilled down her cheeks as she desperately prayed this was all some twisted dream, that she had died on the operating table rather than wake up to face this monster again. His piercing gaze troubled her soul as it always did. It was after all, a constant reminder of the profound torment he'd inflicted on her that night. "Oh, you're no longer a blonde?" he mused mockingly, lifting one hand to brush the shortened strands of her hair. Scarlet flinched. The hate rolling off him filled her with a sense of immense dread that sparked an internal plea for salvation. She tried to flee but he pounced with lightning speed, effortlessly pinning her beneath him. "Virginity restoration?" He sneered down at her. "You really want to deceive your poor fiancé like this? Make him think he's getting something pure and untouched?" The words hit their marks. Scarlett's mind reeled with horrible thoughts and crushing doubt. "I bet you thought changing your hair would help you hide your shame, didn't you?" The sarcasm in his voice twisted into something darker and more menacing as his expression morphed into the same angry sneer he'd worn on that terrible day he destroyed her life. His other hand seized her chin in a bruising grip, forcing her to meet his cold stare. "Look at me!" He growled. "What's the point of getting all stitched back up if you're still going to be thinking about me every second!"

My name is Emma. At 31, I am doing well for myself. I’ve got a great job. Or at least a well paid job, my boss loves me, and my girlfriends think I’m great. More important than anyone's opinion is that of my housemate, and best friend in the world, Scott. Scott thinks the world of me and always tells me to be myself. So why do I feel the need to lie outrageously on dates? From rock-climbing to Muay Thai: when it comes to prospective boyfriends, I am compelled to embellish my C.V. with unlikely porkies that alwaysbackfire - with hilarious results. I have Craig to blame for that - he really shattered my sense of self-confidence and self-worth. But then I turn the spotlight on Scott, and he wishes he'd never brought it up. With a penchant for checked shirts and Harry Potter-style specs, I decide he needs a makeover and to experience the abysmal dating world. My friendship with Scott began in the most unconventional way. His past life had made him homeless and isolated, but he saved me. And now we are inseparable. My dating disasters began when my relationship with he-who-must-not-be-named ended. Waking up with a pounding head, a dry mouth, aching limbs and a random arm draped over my waist, I struggle to get up and then stumble to the bathroom. I rubbed my eyes and stare at the hungover, half dead panda eyed loser staring back at me. What started out as a lighthearted challenge with Scott, became something more. We were prepared. But nothing could prepare us for the surprise results! Before long, I realise that our lives will never be the same again.

"Shayari if you're expecting anything from this Nikkah then don't because this Nikkah is nothing but a compromise to save your dignity. I won't be able to give you any rights on me or love that a wife deserves but I will be loyal with you that I assure you. I won't cheat ever but if you dared to cheat on me I won't think twice before shooting you in the middle of your eyes and after a time period I will divorce you as well don't worry we won't be married for forever." He said emotionlessly Well great start for your married life isn't it?He is talking about divorce on the wedding night itself. Note the sarcasm please " I don't expect anything from you, no love, no rights, nothing. This marriage is a big scandal in my life and nothing else.And I'm not a slut that I will cheat on you. I have no interest in that thing. Think yourself free from my side and one more thing if you want you can keep relationships or sleep with others I don't have a problem with that.Anyways, who is interested in you, not me at least. Do whatever you want. And now if you're done with your clear explanation then excuse me I am sleepy and need my beauty sleep because unlike you I sleep at night like any other normal human being "I said and looked at his face.. ***************** Arhaan is like flames dangerous and has the power to burn someone into ashes Shayari is like Roses soft fragile yet full of thorns to protect herself. What will happen when this both will be tied together in an unwanted marriage?Will love bloom between them or the flames will turn the roses in ashes?

"Why pretend you don't want us when your nipples are hard?" Oliver's hands slid slowly under my skirt. I swallowed hard, feeling a lump in my throat. I grasped his hands, but his brother Owen yanked them away. "Because I hate you all! I can't help but wonder why moon goddess made you guys my mates." Their laughter filled the room as if a hilarious joke had just been told. Gradually, his fingers made their way to my pussy skin, then I caught a glimpse of the three brothers whose gaze was fixed on my exposed body. "You must keep this between us because this bond is forbidden. We will fuck you whenever we want because you belong to us" Owen declares as I looked away from them, but Orion gently turned my face towards them, their eyes filled with lusts. There are many secrets we keep for future sake, but what if there are more darker ones to discover? ---------- Miranda's life took an unexpected turn when she was betrayed and rejected by her high school boyfriend because she was a weak omega. Devastated, She also finds out her mum was getting married to a billionaire Lycan King. Accepting a new father was difficult, but that was only the beginning of her challenges. When she met the Lycan King's sons, she discovered they were her former bullies 'The Lycan Triplets' from high school, and to make matters worse, she was fated to be their mate. How will she cope with this situation? What will happen when their parents finds out that they are mates which is forbidden? Of course it has to be kept hidden but for how long? Also will the Triplets continue to bully her, or seek her forgiveness?

After Noah's death, what greeted him was an AI system calling itself Black, offering him a job working for the World and Soul Management Bureau.  He has to travel to many different worlds, taking over an identity of some unfortunate soon-to-be-dead dude, and live out the remainder of his new life there however he wanted. Easy-peasy! ...Right? ...Ok, sure, there are a few small kinks here and there... like terrorist attacks, murder plots, zombie apocalypses, and the like... but one should always look at the bright side! Noah: "...Blackie, is it just me, or is this good brother of mine looking at me like a hungry wolf seeing a juicy piece of meat?" (°△°|||) Black: "Don't worry, host. He is just a bit excited due to nearly losing his life back there. You know, adrenaline." (¬‿¬) Noah: "…are you sure that's what's really going on here?" (っ °Д °;)っ Black: "Absolutely!" (≖‿≖) … ~ Many worlds later ~ Noah: "This secret mission that you can't tell me about… it can't possibly be to get fucked by the least appropriate target?!" (°ㅂ°╬) Black: "Of-of course not! Ho-how could that possibly be, eh?" (; ﾟ 3ﾟ )~♪ ML: Right, right, that's just a very (not so) coincidental bonus. Ψ(╹ڡ╹ )Ψ 💠 Author Note 💠 * SSC has long arcs. Each world is a fully-fledged novel on its own. * Don't let the summary (or the cover) fool you! While SSC does have an occasional explicit smut, it is primarily a fluffy and hilarious romance! * Pairings are one-on-one and taboo-ish. (E.g. hired assassin and his target, monster tamer and his tamed beast, master and disciple, siblings, brothers-in-law, etc.) * More info in the info chapter Author website: lucypandora.com Support the author on ko-fi: ko-fi.com/lucypandora Discord: lucypandora.com/discord

Maxine is arguably the most bitter girl in town. Ever since her ex-boyfriend Leander left her, she has been rude to all men. It all started at a nightclub. Maxine was sad, sulking and drunk at the counter. She was still asking for many bottles of wine, but the bartender already refused her because she was already drunk. She was broken; she loves Leander so much, but he cheated on her. She thought he was the kindest man she'd ever known. Maxine couldn't even walk properly, she swayed and she almost fell. But the next moment she knew, she had already fallen to a man chest. And that was the time she met Law. The moment she looked up to see it. She saw her past. Her past that keeps hurting her till now. It was her last day here at the clubhouse and she promised herself that she would never come back here, but the pain of yesterday returned when she saw him. Leander and him look similar Law was a bit surprised when Maxine grabbed his white collar and kissed him aggressively. And that was the first and last encounter they had. Amari pulled her sister away from the unknown man. One year later. Maxine changed a lot, she was bitter and hot tempered as always. Maxine can't accept that her sister is getting married. She didn't want it to be like her who would only get hurt at the end. She was pissed, so she walked out of Amari's wedding venue with no one knowing. Destiny seems hilarious and playful. Law finally found her in the parking area. Maxine can't remember everything about him. But since that day, it seems destiny is really bringing them closer because Law Del Fierro is also her new Boss.

Her eyes widened in horror. The sound was unmistakable — the snap of a belt buckle, the hiss of it being undone. Then came the crash of fabric hitting stone. Terror exploded in her chest. She struggled violently, chains biting into her wrists until blood slicked her palms. Her chest heaved, heart pounding so hard it hurt. Ezra pressed harder, his knee locking her in place. One hand clenched her throat — not enough to choke, but enough to remind her she could not escape. His breath was ragged, wild, as if possessed. “You feel it too,” he growled against her skin. “Don’t lie to me, Nova. Your body wants this. You want me.” No. No, no, no. Her body burned, but it wasn’t for him. It was the cursed bond, the fire belonging to another. And that other… Her eyes filled with tears. Her lips shaped a silent prayer: Kilian. The bond within her surged like wildfire. Her chest arched, a gasp tearing from her throat. She felt it — claws raking down her soul, a storm breaking in her veins. He was here. He had come for her. *** Nova is a skilled hunter, fierce and independent, yet unaware of her true nature and the extraordinary destiny that awaits her. Humiliated by her fellow hunter colleagues for refusing to kill innocent wolves, she flees — only to be rescued by Kilian, the feared Lycan King. Thrust into his world, she must prove herself and earn her place within his pack, all while navigating the sharp wit, teasing sarcasm, and growing tension between them. Kilian is powerful, commanding, and fiercely protective, yet finds himself drawn to Nova in ways he cannot explain. Their connection develops slowly, charged with banter, challenges, and unacknowledged desire. But Nova is far more special and powerful than anyone could have predicted. Her choices, and the bond she shares with Kilian, will shape the fate of their world — deciding whether to destroy it, or to revolutionize and transform it for the better. As they uncover enemies deeply rooted in their lives, they must rely on their bond, courage, and love to face what comes next.