Hilarious Sarcasm Quotes Novels & Stories

After my succubus bloodline awakened, I made a habit of rating the CEO as "just okay" every single time he satisfied me. It was a guaranteed hit to his pride, right where it hurt. And like clockwork, he would grow colder, sharper, and even more determined to prove himself all over again. I glitched him into being obsessed with me for three straight years. That was, until my family finally arranged a so-called "perfect" bonding match for me. Just as I was getting ready to run, a flood of comments suddenly appeared in front of my eyes. [Eva, are you seriously doing this? If you run now, you'll be on the bed with him forever!] [Poor Arnold. He was in bed this morning, happily ordering toys and incubus outfits online, completely unaware his girlfriend was about to vanish!] [This is hilarious! She never realized he is an incubus and he never knew she is a succubus, either. They were both pretending to be human. I need to know what happens when he drags her back. I'm begging for the tail-around-the-waist scene!] [Run, Eva, run! I can't wait for Arnold to realize he got played and go completely unhinged. I can't even imagine how steamy the scene would be!]

“You have to choose between death or becoming my slave. Either I give you a death sentence now, or your life becomes enslaved. I have given you the liberty to choose.”  On the night of her 18th birthday, the time came for princess Alexa of the Blue Scorpion pack to meet her mate. This particular moment was everything she’d hoped for, but in the end, what happened was not what she'd expected. She found her mate, alpha Logan of the Red Lotus pack, the youngest, most charming and most desired alpha in all the realm, also happens to be her enemy. That night, Logan was bent on achieving his revenge against Danister, the Blue Scorpion alpha. He wasn’t going to let anyone get in the way, not even Alexa. That same night unlocked a new life for Alexa, not only was her pack taken into captivity but she, the high-held princess, was also taken into slavery at the hands of her mate. For the trauma her father caused him in the past, Logan plans to do so many things to Alexa. He wants to hurt her, to make her pay for all his suffering, he wants to make life as miserable as possible for her, till the point she begs for death. Now, there’s only one problem standing in the way of his plans; the mate bond they share won’t let him. Instead, it draws him closer to her; it makes him yearn for her in the most unimaginable ways. Find out where this love story between Alexa and Logan will lead in The Alpha's Hated Slave Mate. Book 1 of the werewolf mate series Book 2- The Beta's Unexpected Mate For updates on character reveals and quotes, including all my books, follow my Facebook page, Eyitee's library.

With Alpha Cain…there's just something with him that makes my blood boil to the hottest degree, my mind roaring with spite and disdain every time I look at him in the eyes. I often ask myself, "Am I really sure to be the Alpha's Pet or am I just looking at the fastest way to die?" Maybe I'll never know the answer. Maybe I also knew the answer already. But deep inside, one thing's for sure: I hate Alpha Cain. But I also like some part of him. And I hate that part of myself that liked the part of him. *** Anastasia is an I-don't-fucking-care type of Omega who, because she's already bruised outside and broken deep inside, just accepts whatever comes her way. But Alpha Cain somehow liked her wicked mouth. She's the only Omega who can talk back to him with enough sarcasm and wits that most of his pack members lack of. And in the tradition of most packs, whether in every year, months, or even weeks and days, the Alpha will choose among Omegas as his Pet: a more accurate term for his personal bed warmer. It is an actual title in a pack reserved to only one person, with benefits and privileges on its own. And because Anastasia accidentally became drunk the night Alpha Cain tested her skills in bed, she rode so wild and satisfied the Alpha more than he expected. And a hate-to-love, pet-to-lovers tale began to unfold.

R18+ “Fuck off, Azrael!” I snapped despite the crippling fear coiling tightly in my gut. “So you're a mouthy brat with me but a wet mouse with the others?” Those cold, green eyes narrowed. “I'm the one you should be afraid of, Saphielle, me. You do not know what I'm capable of.” ~ ~ ~ Everyone dreams of getting into ‘Velmorne Academy’ but it was an exclusive college to only the Elites. Only those at the top, you know, the 1% kind of rich? Yeah, exactly. So when I got accepted, I thought it was a miracle—It was a trap. Suddenly, the bullying started, and everyone hated me. And worst of all? Azrael, the Alpha prince, has made me his special prey. He says I belong to him and he’d do whatever it takes to make me his. It's hilarious and crazy cause he has a fiancè and I’m just a nobody. It makes no sense. He’s an arrogant asshole. And I fucking hate him. He's the bane of my existence and yet, I keep provoking him. Now I get dreams that I do not understand…they are strange, violent, terrifying—it messes with my sanity and distorts reality. And I’m convinced it has something to do with this school. And Azrael? He’s at the center of it. ~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~••~•~•~•~• WARNING: This book contains dark themes and content that some might find disturbing or distressing. Contents like: Bullying, Murder, Violence, Obsession, Explicit steamy scenes, Manipulation, etc…

Freya King, the CEO of a luxury jewelry brand, had it all: beauty, brains, and a commanding elegance that left powerful men captivated. But at thirty-one, she was still single, and her father had run out of patience. In a bold and borderline outrageous move, he made a game-changing business decision behind her back, one that involved a certain family friend and fellow empire heir… Kenneth Lee Wright. Kenneth, thirty-five, the handsome but stone-faced tech CEO known for being emotionally unreadable, had his own problem: a long-standing rumor that he didn’t “swing the right way”—a rumor he had never denied, simply because it kept overenthusiastic suitors at bay. When Freya flew across the globe to demand answers, Kenneth calmly offered a deal: “Let’s help each other. You get what you want. I find a wife. Problem solved.” Easier said than done. What began as a pragmatic search for their ideal match turned into a hilarious series of terrible dates, jealous moments, and awkward late-night heart-to-hearts. As sparks started to fly, Freya found herself wondering... What if the perfect person wasn’t on her list… but standing right in front of her? *** This is Book 3 of Love and Legacy in the House of Kings. For the best reading experience, it’s recommended to read Book 2 first. Book 1: Divorced My Cheating Husband, Married A Billionaire Book 2: The Bad Boy Next Room

Kesley Bellamy has perfected the art of sabotaging blind dates — for a price. When her best friend begs her to scare off yet another setup, Kesley agrees. A thousand dollars to act crazy for an hour? Easy money. She'll chew gum like a maniac, mention her pot-smoking habit, and maybe proposition the guy for good measure. He'll run screaming, and she'll finally fix her dying laptop. But the man who walks into that restaurant isn't the balding, boring businessman she expected. He's Niklaus Specter — the devastatingly handsome CEO of SpecterTech. The same company Kelsey just applied to. The same company that's her last hope of breaking into the tech industry as a female developer. Worse? He doesn't run away. He finds her antics... intriguing. Now Kesley has three days to transform from "Taraji Gilbert" — the pot-smoking, sex-crazed teacher who just propositioned him — into Kesley Bellamy, the professional data analyst who desperately needs this job. But Niklaus Specter didn't become a billionaire by missing details. And when Kesley walks into her interview on Monday morning, she's about to discover that some mistakes are too expensive to hide. Especially when the CEO remembers everything. A hilarious, steamy romance about mistaken identities, second chances, and the fine line between disaster and destiny.

"Why did you leave the party in such a hurry earlier?" Ignoring her sarcasm, Kaleb changed the subject. He just had to ask! The audacity he had! Sasha smirked. "Did you want to enjoy seeing the girl you just a few minutes ago making a friendly chat with your girlfriend?" she snapped, her wound reopened. "Oh, so you left because of Claire?" Again, Kaleb's voice was mocking. "No, I left because of me," Sasha recoiled, and it was her stupidity sending him a text. "And what about you and Samson? I see the way he looked at you at the party. He seems to really like you and the both of you seem really familiar with each other. What do I make out of that?" Kaleb sounded different, odd even. —---------- When Kaleb Luthor decides to move back to the town he grew up in, Sasha Sullivan is bombarded with a lot of emotions. This is a guy she has had a crush on for as long as she can remember, and this is her chance to make him see her more than just his sister's best friend. But as she gets closer to Kaleb, Sasha realizes that he's a totally different guy from the one she has built up in her head, but she still can't let him go. A one night stand was all she needed… But she isn't prepared for the consequences that one night could bring…. And what an affair with Kaleb Luthor would do to her friendship with her best friend, Tilly Luthor.

“Is that a threatened kitten?” he asked, amused, What? I snapped at him, pissed, “No, Asshole. If it were, you would already be dead,” I added, feeling the bolting rage rising within me. “Oh…” he smirked as he traced my jaw with his thumb, “I’m starting to like you more and more,” he said with a devilish grin, I froze in place, “Oh really? Well, too bad, ‘LUCIAN,’ cause I don’t give a fuck,” “Hahaha, you’re hilarious Mira,” he spat out as he took a seat on the mattress, I moved backward, staying far away from his reach, His eyes remained on me with every step I took. I turned angrily, “Is there something you want, husband?” And asked irritated, “Yes, in fact, there are a lot of things I want. But why don’t you start by explaining to me about the call just now and what you meant by ‘your man?’ huh?” he asked, and this time I could see the seriousness in his eyes, even when he tried to hide it. *** What will Mira do after four years of returning home, only to find out that she was traded off by her own father? A secret they kept hidden from her. Contracted: Love in the Shadow" Narrates a story filled with family betrayal and a passionate romance that totters at the edge of danger and desire. Will Mira Dolman be taken over by the darkness within her, or will she find the strength with love by her side to overcome the challenges that threaten to break her?

My name is Emma. At 31, I am doing well for myself. I’ve got a great job. Or at least a well paid job, my boss loves me, and my girlfriends think I’m great. More important than anyone's opinion is that of my housemate, and best friend in the world, Scott. Scott thinks the world of me and always tells me to be myself. So why do I feel the need to lie outrageously on dates? From rock-climbing to Muay Thai: when it comes to prospective boyfriends, I am compelled to embellish my C.V. with unlikely porkies that alwaysbackfire - with hilarious results. I have Craig to blame for that - he really shattered my sense of self-confidence and self-worth. But then I turn the spotlight on Scott, and he wishes he'd never brought it up. With a penchant for checked shirts and Harry Potter-style specs, I decide he needs a makeover and to experience the abysmal dating world. My friendship with Scott began in the most unconventional way. His past life had made him homeless and isolated, but he saved me. And now we are inseparable. My dating disasters began when my relationship with he-who-must-not-be-named ended. Waking up with a pounding head, a dry mouth, aching limbs and a random arm draped over my waist, I struggle to get up and then stumble to the bathroom. I rubbed my eyes and stare at the hungover, half dead panda eyed loser staring back at me. What started out as a lighthearted challenge with Scott, became something more. We were prepared. But nothing could prepare us for the surprise results! Before long, I realise that our lives will never be the same again.

"Shayari if you're expecting anything from this Nikkah then don't because this Nikkah is nothing but a compromise to save your dignity. I won't be able to give you any rights on me or love that a wife deserves but I will be loyal with you that I assure you. I won't cheat ever but if you dared to cheat on me I won't think twice before shooting you in the middle of your eyes and after a time period I will divorce you as well don't worry we won't be married for forever." He said emotionlessly Well great start for your married life isn't it?He is talking about divorce on the wedding night itself. Note the sarcasm please " I don't expect anything from you, no love, no rights, nothing. This marriage is a big scandal in my life and nothing else.And I'm not a slut that I will cheat on you. I have no interest in that thing. Think yourself free from my side and one more thing if you want you can keep relationships or sleep with others I don't have a problem with that.Anyways, who is interested in you, not me at least. Do whatever you want. And now if you're done with your clear explanation then excuse me I am sleepy and need my beauty sleep because unlike you I sleep at night like any other normal human being "I said and looked at his face.. ***************** Arhaan is like flames dangerous and has the power to burn someone into ashes Shayari is like Roses soft fragile yet full of thorns to protect herself. What will happen when this both will be tied together in an unwanted marriage?Will love bloom between them or the flames will turn the roses in ashes?