Hilarious Sarcasm Quotes

URIEL CLAES. Not only was I a blind Alpha and a laughingstock. But it was inescapable to avoid this Omega, my mate, foreordained by the moon goddess, to be with five mates. Can you imagine that? Out of the fuckward alphas for her to be with, she chose me. A blind Alpha who can’t tell the difference between a red cloth and a blue one. How hilarious is that? RAAVA SNOWFALL. I was an eyesore within the Frostbite clan and my family, tormented, abused, and ridiculed me in front of everyone. Including my husband. My life became completely consumed by anguish, pain, and derision when my father sold me to an Alpha for his own selfish interests, who shamelessly turned out to be one of my mates. An arrogant, cold-hearted playboy from another pack who gets into anything with a hole became my husband. Surviving each day as his wife was like walking over hot coals. I knew I needed to survive, but none of my mates I have come across could help me. Until I met this blind alpha, I knew what I needed to do.

I've waited five years for my mafia fiance, Daniele Moretti, while he keeps pushing our wedding back again and again. I've turned down every man who approaches me and put up with all the snide comments from high society. On the eve of exchanging our marriage alliance contract, thanks to a bet with his lover, Daniele decides it's hilarious to switch the groom's name. He replaces himself with his uncle, Samuele Moretti, a man who is practically on his deathbed. Daniele laughs as he brags to his friends, "Regina's obsessed with me. When she finds out, she'll cry and beg me to change it back." I stand just outside the door and hear every word. On the day of the wedding, I take Samuele's arm—the "sickly wreck" Daniele keeps mocking—and walk him up the aisle. When Daniele finally shows up late with his lover and tries to turn the ceremony into a spectacle, I slap him across the face. Now he's the one who has to call me Aunt Regina.

“You hired me, to babysit a MAN?” Kiara asked glaring at the Russian mafia don who shrugged. His son stood by the door, his arms crossed over his chest as the two men watched the fuming girl in front of them. “I never said ‘babysit’, I merely said ‘keep out of trouble’” the don answered her casually. “He is a man, he would be at least twenty-five…” “I’m twenty-eight, and thank you for noticing that I’m a man” Alessio said stopping her, sarcasm dripping from his voice. “Ah, see, he’s even polite” his father said raising an eyebrow at Kiara who ran her fingers through her hair as she processed the situation she was in. “You told me to take care of your son!” “I never said that he was a kid though…” ******************** It all started with a job offer, one that united two different worlds. A girl who’s father is a federal agent, and a man, who was the future Russian mafia don. Her job was simple, keep the man out of trouble. However, what she didn’t know was that this trouble included him being a killer, one who was out for revenge.

"You're the best thing that ever happened to me, Amy Leah!" were his words to her when their love began blooming. He was just one of their hacienda workers, skinny and tan-burned. But she loved him...unconditionally! ... "One day, you will swallow all the insults you threw at me today. One day, you will regret everything you did to me. One day, you will also kneel before me, Amy Leah!" was his wrath when he found out about her betrayal. "Oh! I've regretted the day that I told you about my fake feelings. Coz you're so fun to play with!" engulfed with sarcasm, her taunting remarks wreaked havoc in his life. ... "You think I'm done with you, Señorita Amy Leah? What happened to your brain? Don't you know, my REVENGE has just begun. Kneel and pick those up!" was his lordly command now that he was in a suit and living in luxury. "Desmond, I'm sorry!" were the only words she could mutter after everything that she had done. ... What made her betray her first love?

What happens when a dying nerdy girl becomes the obsession of a cursed vampire? Ivy Smith has always been the quiet girl with oversized glasses, baggy sweaters, and a stack of books in her arms. But behind the laughter and sarcasm, she’s dying. Nineteen years old, running out of time, and still a virgin. All she wants is one taste of love before death takes her away. Her plan was simple—lose her virginity to Jaxon, the hottest guy in school. But then she saw him. Dante Gomez. Her best friend’s father. Her professor. The man who should have been completely off-limits. The man who kissed her once and ruined everything. Because Dante isn’t just any man. He’s a vampire, cursed with immortality and desperate to be human again. One reckless kiss transfers his Crimson Stone into Ivy’s body—he can only take it back if she dies. Now, they’re bound together by hunger, secrets, and a dangerous desire that could destroy them both. He wants his stone. She wants his touch. Will Ivy give her heart to the boy she always dreamed of… or surrender her soul to the forbidden man who craves her?

Synopsis: Not all betrayals should lead you nowhere. Max, my fiance, abandoned me on the red carpet, approached my claimed younger sister Fiona, and escorted her to the priest right in front of my eyes. In the end, he married her with the blessing of my parents. It's really hilarious how these people encouraged me to marry him. If that wasn't tragic enough, Fiona then splashed filthy water all over my beautiful wedding gown. I had no royal roots as the daughter of a prostitute, so I didn't argue or fight since I knew it would never end. But they all seem to forget one thing: a diamond was just an ordinary stone until a polisher revealed its worth. Life couldn't have treated me better by giving me the name Diamond, and I knew I wasn't destined for a dead end. I am the diamond, and I am waiting for the lucky one to polish me and reveal my real brightness. Do I need a polisher? Will I find someone to help me get back at those who have betrayed me? Or will I become my own polisher, shaping my own destiny?

This isn't you're regular Alpha finds his Luna werewolf story, there's elemental powers, Vikings, royal bloodlines, secrets, prophecies, A touch of romance and who doesn't love a bit of drama. This story is for mature audience. Troy has been searching for his Mate for three years when his father tells him he is to be Mated to form a union between two packs in order to fight an army headed their way. What he doesn't know yet is the arranged Mating was planned well before he was born. When Octavia steps out of her purple Camaro, he wasn't expecting to see the most beautiful creature on earth. Octavia is the first of her kind, born of two Royal bloodlines causing her to possess immense power that she struggles to control. Will Troy be able to save Octavia from herself or will her powers consume her and destroy them all? stay tuned to see what the prophecy has instore for Troy and Octavia. --- He smiles at me "Like what you see princess?" Realizing I've been caught checking him out, I use my typical witty sarcasm that usually gets me out of awkward situations or in trouble, "That depends, did you like what you saw when I got out of my car?" I say with a wink.

“You fuckers, I thought you are genuine to me but here, I loved one person but shared by two, how hilarious” Amethysta shouted desperately while the Dempsey twins stayed silent. A pearl of tears streamed down her cheeks and blurred her vision in no time. Princess… Isaias stepped forward to hold her in his embrace but Amethysta stopped him and gave him a death glare. “Listen to us Angel, I know we made a mistake by fooling you all these days but believe us Angel, We love you” Icarus pleaded with glossy eyes. A blood-craving monster was pleading with a girl which is something unbelievable but true. “OK leave it, You fooled me because you two loved me, but you approached me for my father. Now deny it, will you?” Amethysta asked while wiping her tears harshly. Dempsey twins shared a glance and their silence proved the answer Amethysta wanted. Her words choked on her throat and the overwhelming emotions pooled out of her heart. “It's over between us, don't show your faces to me in the future” She threw a diamond ring and the chain on their face walking away. The bloodthirsty Alphas now bow to the queen of their heart who they played with. But none know what the future holds for them.

It was all her fault. My life could have been simple—40-hour shifts at KFC, sneaking extra chicken crumbs, and binge-watching reality shows. But no. Instead, here I was, standing at the altar, saying I do to a man whose idea of “casual” involved drugs, women, and murder on speed dial. Thanks, Mom. Not only did she ruin my life, but she also sold it—traded me off to the deadliest Mafia boss alive, Mario Santiago, as if I were some secondhand couch on clearance. Mario Santiago. Yeah, that Mario Santiago. The Human Terminator. The guy whose enemies mysteriously vanish like my paycheck two days after payday. And now, I was his wife. He glanced at me with a slow, wolfish smile that practically screamed trouble. That was when I knew two things: 1. I was completely doomed. 2. This man was going to wreck my heart (and probably my life). But hey, it could be worse, right? At least I’d get a killer wardrobe out of it. *** Are you looking for romance and humor? Stuck with Mario Santiago is a hilarious, Mafia billionaire romance filled with danger, betrayal, drama, and a love story you won’t forget. Dive in—you won’t regret it (but the characters might).

After my succubus bloodline awakened, I made a habit of rating the CEO as "just okay" every single time he satisfied me. It was a guaranteed hit to his pride, right where it hurt. And like clockwork, he would grow colder, sharper, and even more determined to prove himself all over again. I glitched him into being obsessed with me for three straight years. That was, until my family finally arranged a so-called "perfect" bonding match for me. Just as I was getting ready to run, a flood of comments suddenly appeared in front of my eyes. [Eva, are you seriously doing this? If you run now, you'll be on the bed with him forever!] [Poor Arnold. He was in bed this morning, happily ordering toys and incubus outfits online, completely unaware his girlfriend was about to vanish!] [This is hilarious! She never realized he is an incubus and he never knew she is a succubus, either. They were both pretending to be human. I need to know what happens when he drags her back. I'm begging for the tail-around-the-waist scene!] [Run, Eva, run! I can't wait for Arnold to realize he got played and go completely unhinged. I can't even imagine how steamy the scene would be!]