Hilarious Sarcasm Quotes

What happens when a dying nerdy girl becomes the obsession of a cursed vampire? Ivy Smith has always been the quiet girl with oversized glasses, baggy sweaters, and a stack of books in her arms. But behind the laughter and sarcasm, she’s dying. Nineteen years old, running out of time, and still a virgin. All she wants is one taste of love before death takes her away. Her plan was simple—lose her virginity to Jaxon, the hottest guy in school. But then she saw him. Dante Gomez. Her best friend’s father. Her professor. The man who should have been completely off-limits. The man who kissed her once and ruined everything. Because Dante isn’t just any man. He’s a vampire, cursed with immortality and desperate to be human again. One reckless kiss transfers his Crimson Stone into Ivy’s body—he can only take it back if she dies. Now, they’re bound together by hunger, secrets, and a dangerous desire that could destroy them both. He wants his stone. She wants his touch. Will Ivy give her heart to the boy she always dreamed of… or surrender her soul to the forbidden man who craves her?

Synopsis: Not all betrayals should lead you nowhere. Max, my fiance, abandoned me on the red carpet, approached my claimed younger sister Fiona, and escorted her to the priest right in front of my eyes. In the end, he married her with the blessing of my parents. It's really hilarious how these people encouraged me to marry him. If that wasn't tragic enough, Fiona then splashed filthy water all over my beautiful wedding gown. I had no royal roots as the daughter of a prostitute, so I didn't argue or fight since I knew it would never end. But they all seem to forget one thing: a diamond was just an ordinary stone until a polisher revealed its worth. Life couldn't have treated me better by giving me the name Diamond, and I knew I wasn't destined for a dead end. I am the diamond, and I am waiting for the lucky one to polish me and reveal my real brightness. Do I need a polisher? Will I find someone to help me get back at those who have betrayed me? Or will I become my own polisher, shaping my own destiny?

This isn't you're regular Alpha finds his Luna werewolf story, there's elemental powers, Vikings, royal bloodlines, secrets, prophecies, A touch of romance and who doesn't love a bit of drama. This story is for mature audience. Troy has been searching for his Mate for three years when his father tells him he is to be Mated to form a union between two packs in order to fight an army headed their way. What he doesn't know yet is the arranged Mating was planned well before he was born. When Octavia steps out of her purple Camaro, he wasn't expecting to see the most beautiful creature on earth. Octavia is the first of her kind, born of two Royal bloodlines causing her to possess immense power that she struggles to control. Will Troy be able to save Octavia from herself or will her powers consume her and destroy them all? stay tuned to see what the prophecy has instore for Troy and Octavia. --- He smiles at me "Like what you see princess?" Realizing I've been caught checking him out, I use my typical witty sarcasm that usually gets me out of awkward situations or in trouble, "That depends, did you like what you saw when I got out of my car?" I say with a wink.

After my succubus bloodline awakened, I made a habit of rating the CEO as "just okay" every single time he satisfied me. It was a guaranteed hit to his pride, right where it hurt. And like clockwork, he would grow colder, sharper, and even more determined to prove himself all over again. I glitched him into being obsessed with me for three straight years. That was, until my family finally arranged a so-called "perfect" bonding match for me. Just as I was getting ready to run, a flood of comments suddenly appeared in front of my eyes. [Eva, are you seriously doing this? If you run now, you'll be on the bed with him forever!] [Poor Arnold. He was in bed this morning, happily ordering toys and incubus outfits online, completely unaware his girlfriend was about to vanish!] [This is hilarious! She never realized he is an incubus and he never knew she is a succubus, either. They were both pretending to be human. I need to know what happens when he drags her back. I'm begging for the tail-around-the-waist scene!] [Run, Eva, run! I can't wait for Arnold to realize he got played and go completely unhinged. I can't even imagine how steamy the scene would be!]

It was all her fault. My life could have been simple—40-hour shifts at KFC, sneaking extra chicken crumbs, and binge-watching reality shows. But no. Instead, here I was, standing at the altar, saying I do to a man whose idea of “casual” involved drugs, women, and murder on speed dial. Thanks, Mom. Not only did she ruin my life, but she also sold it—traded me off to the deadliest Mafia boss alive, Mario Santiago, as if I were some secondhand couch on clearance. Mario Santiago. Yeah, that Mario Santiago. The Human Terminator. The guy whose enemies mysteriously vanish like my paycheck two days after payday. And now, I was his wife. He glanced at me with a slow, wolfish smile that practically screamed trouble. That was when I knew two things: 1. I was completely doomed. 2. This man was going to wreck my heart (and probably my life). But hey, it could be worse, right? At least I’d get a killer wardrobe out of it. *** Are you looking for romance and humor? Stuck with Mario Santiago is a hilarious, Mafia billionaire romance filled with danger, betrayal, drama, and a love story you won’t forget. Dive in—you won’t regret it (but the characters might).

“You fuckers, I thought you are genuine to me but here, I loved one person but shared by two, how hilarious” Amethysta shouted desperately while the Dempsey twins stayed silent. A pearl of tears streamed down her cheeks and blurred her vision in no time. Princess… Isaias stepped forward to hold her in his embrace but Amethysta stopped him and gave him a death glare. “Listen to us Angel, I know we made a mistake by fooling you all these days but believe us Angel, We love you” Icarus pleaded with glossy eyes. A blood-craving monster was pleading with a girl which is something unbelievable but true. “OK leave it, You fooled me because you two loved me, but you approached me for my father. Now deny it, will you?” Amethysta asked while wiping her tears harshly. Dempsey twins shared a glance and their silence proved the answer Amethysta wanted. Her words choked on her throat and the overwhelming emotions pooled out of her heart. “It's over between us, don't show your faces to me in the future” She threw a diamond ring and the chain on their face walking away. The bloodthirsty Alphas now bow to the queen of their heart who they played with. But none know what the future holds for them.

With Alpha Cain…there's just something with him that makes my blood boil to the hottest degree, my mind roaring with spite and disdain every time I look at him in the eyes. I often ask myself, "Am I really sure to be the Alpha's Pet or am I just looking at the fastest way to die?" Maybe I'll never know the answer. Maybe I also knew the answer already. But deep inside, one thing's for sure: I hate Alpha Cain. But I also like some part of him. And I hate that part of myself that liked the part of him. *** Anastasia is an I-don't-fucking-care type of Omega who, because she's already bruised outside and broken deep inside, just accepts whatever comes her way. But Alpha Cain somehow liked her wicked mouth. She's the only Omega who can talk back to him with enough sarcasm and wits that most of his pack members lack of. And in the tradition of most packs, whether in every year, months, or even weeks and days, the Alpha will choose among Omegas as his Pet: a more accurate term for his personal bed warmer. It is an actual title in a pack reserved to only one person, with benefits and privileges on its own. And because Anastasia accidentally became drunk the night Alpha Cain tested her skills in bed, she rode so wild and satisfied the Alpha more than he expected. And a hate-to-love, pet-to-lovers tale began to unfold.

“You have to choose between death or becoming my slave. Either I give you a death sentence now, or your life becomes enslaved. I have given you the liberty to choose.”  On the night of her 18th birthday, the time came for princess Alexa of the Blue Scorpion pack to meet her mate. This particular moment was everything she’d hoped for, but in the end, what happened was not what she'd expected. She found her mate, alpha Logan of the Red Lotus pack, the youngest, most charming and most desired alpha in all the realm, also happens to be her enemy. That night, Logan was bent on achieving his revenge against Danister, the Blue Scorpion alpha. He wasn’t going to let anyone get in the way, not even Alexa. That same night unlocked a new life for Alexa, not only was her pack taken into captivity but she, the high-held princess, was also taken into slavery at the hands of her mate. For the trauma her father caused him in the past, Logan plans to do so many things to Alexa. He wants to hurt her, to make her pay for all his suffering, he wants to make life as miserable as possible for her, till the point she begs for death. Now, there’s only one problem standing in the way of his plans; the mate bond they share won’t let him. Instead, it draws him closer to her; it makes him yearn for her in the most unimaginable ways. Find out where this love story between Alexa and Logan will lead in The Alpha's Hated Slave Mate. Book 1 of the werewolf mate series Book 2- The Beta's Unexpected Mate For updates on character reveals and quotes, including all my books, follow my Facebook page, Eyitee's library.

R18+ “Fuck off, Azrael!” I snapped despite the crippling fear coiling tightly in my gut. “So you're a mouthy brat with me but a wet mouse with the others?” Those cold, green eyes narrowed. “I'm the one you should be afraid of, Saphielle, me. You do not know what I'm capable of.” ~ ~ ~ Everyone dreams of getting into ‘Velmorne Academy’ but it was an exclusive college to only the Elites. Only those at the top, you know, the 1% kind of rich? Yeah, exactly. So when I got accepted, I thought it was a miracle—It was a trap. Suddenly, the bullying started, and everyone hated me. And worst of all? Azrael, the Alpha prince, has made me his special prey. He says I belong to him and he’d do whatever it takes to make me his. It's hilarious and crazy cause he has a fiancè and I’m just a nobody. It makes no sense. He’s an arrogant asshole. And I fucking hate him. He's the bane of my existence and yet, I keep provoking him. Now I get dreams that I do not understand…they are strange, violent, terrifying—it messes with my sanity and distorts reality. And I’m convinced it has something to do with this school. And Azrael? He’s at the center of it. ~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~••~•~•~•~• WARNING: This book contains dark themes and content that some might find disturbing or distressing. Contents like: Bullying, Murder, Violence, Obsession, Explicit steamy scenes, Manipulation, etc…

COMPLETED. WARNING: Mature Contents! A game of hate that unexpectedly turns into a relationship — and ends with them in each other's bed, all because of a deal. *** "Dolling you comes with an exchange doll." Kinagat ko ang ibabang labi ko para pigilan ang sarili kong humalinghing dahil sa pagdikit ng daliri n'ya sa gilid ng dibdib ko. He's teasing me. "W-What do you w-want," nauutal kong tanong sa kanya. "Be my partner in bed." W-What?!" "Come on. I'll make sure that boys will kneel before you and your beauty. Pennie will surely face her defeat against you," pahayag ni Wayde. Kung noon ay wala akong pakialam sa pangbu-bully at pagpapahiya sa akin ni Pennie dahil lang sa pagiging nerd at boring ko, ngayon ay gusto ko nang tumayo at patulan s'ya. Hindi ko na papalampasin pa ang mga pinaggagawa n'ya. Stealing my ex-boyfriend will be her last game. Partner in bed? Ibigsabihin lang nun ay kay Wayde rin ang bagsak ng virginity ko. Ang baklang 'to? Nasaan na ang sinabi ko kagabi na sa lalaking papakasalan ko lang mapupunta ang v-card ko? *** Wayde Jhon Johnsons. The gay guy who loves calling me doll — no, voodoo doll. My bully. My nightmare wrapped in sarcasm and smug grins. After years of hating him, I never thought I’d be the one asking for his help. But nothing comes for free. And in exchange... I became his partner. In bed.