Hilarious South Park Novels & Stories

“Now get over here and help me eat this food. And grab me a soda, would you?” I tossed her the remote. “Find something you want to watch.” “Just not a chick flick. I want something funny tonight. Something that’ll make us laugh so hard we’re scared of throwing our pizza back up.” I opened the fridge. “I hear Trevor Noah’s new standup is hysterical.” “Oh, Trevor Noah it is, then.”

The day before the high school reunion, the queen bee who'd bullied me for three years suddenly posted a video in the group chat. In the video, my 220-pound high school self was locked inside a bathroom, with a piece of paper stuck to the back of my uniform that read: [No Food for Pigs] The group chat instantly erupted. [Holy shit, she's coming to the reunion?] [Do you think the hotel chairs can hold her?] [After all these years, she can't possibly still be so fat she won't even fit through the door, right?] Naomi White, the queen bee who'd led the bullying back then, tagged me. [Old friend, everyone wants to see you. You have to come to the reunion this time.] Soon, someone started

Then someone in the crowd sneered, their voice dripping with sarcasm. "Oh, that must be Sophia's sugar daddy. Showed up to defend her. She's not picky, is she. She'll take a guy in his fifties." The crowd erupted. Some covered their mouths, laughing. Others joined in openly. "Yeah, I heard she doesn't care about age. Maybe this old man's a regular too." The dean's expression tightened. He turned sharply toward the crowd. "All of you–shut your mouths!" He glanced at my injuries, his voice urgent.

"What the f*ck? That's the most hilarious thing I've heard in a long time! He has no idea what he's saying!" "Hahahah! He must be out of his mind!" "In all my years of living, I've never met anyone in this city who dares to challenge Mr. Sanders' honor! What a day it is!" Mr. Wilcox was laughing so hard that he was bent double, overcome with derisive giggles as he screamed, "Hahahahah! This is going to be the death of me! Do you hear that, Mr. Sanders? The audacity! The sheer foolishness!"

I laughed, knowing that I had hit a sensitive spot. But then, Sophia suddenly looked up at me, a sly grin spreading across her face. "Actually, my ex-husband was a cheapskate," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "He took me to the most luxurious place he could afford... the McD*nald's drive-thru." I burst out laughing, unable to contain my amusement. Sophia's joke was hilarious, and I was impressed by her quick wit. As I laughed, Sophia smiled, looking pleased with herself. "I'm glad I could make you laugh," she said, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

I laughed hard that my popcorn poured as I watched the comedy show. It was so funny that I felt like I was going to cry. "That was stupid!" I bursted out laughing again. I poured pop corn in my mouth and sipped from the lime mojito on the table. It was so cold and refreshing. I sipped more from it and breathed out a sigh of relief. The comedy show ended and I let out a disappointing sigh. It was so disappointing that such funny show had to end. I switched to a Korea show and fortunately, there was an English subtitles.

“But, I mean, if you’re that desperate, bro, I don’t mind jerking you off. Charity work. For old times’ sake.” I stared at him. Deadpan. For a full three seconds. Then I said, voice flat as asphalt, “Even as a joke, that wasn’t funny.” He threw his head back and howled while Ellis choked on his beer, coughing and laughing at the same time, tears actually forming at the corners of his eyes. It wasn’t fun being the fucked-up sideshow. I took one last drag then crushed the joint out in the ashtray so hard the glass cracked.

While hearing Harriet’s chuckles, they wished the Earth would open up and swallow them! “I am r-really sorry, pfft…” Harriet apologized while laughing. The two lifted their heads, which seemed as heavy as ten wheeler truck, and looked at the happy lady. Harriet felt her intense belly as she laughed so hard until tears formed in her eyes. “Omg, what to do? This is so funny,” she complained. “It seems you are having fun, Harriet,” Zion said in apathetic tone. “It because it was so funny,” Harriet explained. “If only the two of you can see how your faces crumpled in shock while seeing the banner, you will crack into laughter too. Pfft…”

Zayn said nonchalantly. A man was running short of breath from laughing when he said, “It’s very funny. It’s the funniest joke I’ve heard this year. The Larson Group is yours, Zayn Larson. Hah-hah. I’m going to post that online, and I’m sure it’ll go viral.”

"Pregnancy has become disadvantage to you, Kitcat...I bet he'll tell you the grass is too green for you to step outside tomorrow." "Shut up, Liam. I'm not trying to make jokes." "And see...your pregnancy has become a disadvantage to me too...look at him snapping at me because of a fetus." "I'd advise you to shut your mouth, Liam...his face is getting red, it's about to swell...he's transforming into..." "Angry bird!" Liam and Fredd bursted out into hysterical laughing at their apparently funny joke...but Zillon didn't seem to find it funny, he was as serious as judge. "F*cking idiots..."