Holiday Humor Quotes

It was a national holiday and we decided to drive back to my husband's hometown to spend the holidays. One day before we left, my husband's childhood crush came crying to him that she had not managed to buy train tickets home. My husband immediately decided to let her have my seat in the car and insisted that I take the train instead. I looked at him in disbelief. There was shock in my eyes. Even my son insisted I take the train. "Mommy, Aunt Rosie is so pretty. How could you make her take the train?" I did not argue. I booked my train ticket right in front of them. However, it was to my own hometown. I no longer wanted a biased husband and a disloyal son.

My mom decides to implement an income-based rationing system. Everything at home is delegated to everyone based on their income. At a holiday dinner, I decide to grab myself an extra helping of pasta. As soon as I fill up my plate, my mom snatches it from my hands. "Hold on. Just look at the spread on the table. The sea bass is already worth 180 dollars. The scallops are worth 200, whereas the lobster goes for 300 dollars. "You only earn 3,000 dollars per month. If you want a second serving, you must pay up first. I'll charge you based on the family rate. It'll be three dollars, thank you very much." My mom sticks out three fingers while smiling at me.

Ladies, never hike up a mountain on your own! During a holiday, I've received a request for help from an Internet user. Apparently, a young woman has gone missing after she's gone on a mountain hike. A quick session of divination tells me that the woman is already dead. To make things worse, her corpse is stuck at the moment. Having taken on the request made by the woman's parents, I enter the mountain and start looking for her. In the end, I'm able to locate her body in a cave. Not only is her belly swollen with pregnancy, but… but her belly is also moving due to fetal activity. What's scarier is that there's something even more terrifying being hidden beneath her corpse…

The world ended in 2015. Sheng Chen was transported to a new realm along with the rest of humanity. The novel follows his adventures through this vast new plane, fighting men and beasts alike, making friends, finding love, and etching out his own existence in the boundless universe all the while trying to unravel an insidious plot that he has unwittingly become a part of. Romance, humor, friendship, betrayal, loss, schemes, light, and darkness. All the creatures from your dreams, stories, and movies are real in this absurdly wonderous world.

On Valentine's Day, I suggest going to a restaurant to celebrate, but my boyfriend, Michael Nelson, refuses. He says impatiently, "Why should we celebrate some lousy holiday? I don't want to waste good money on it." He turns around and happily chats away on his phone, completely absorbed in the conversation. Then, I hear the system's notification going off in my head. "Congratulations. You have received 2,860 dollars." This means that Michael just transferred 1,430 dollars to his side chick. He doesn't know it yet, but I have a system. It's called the Infidelity Cashback System. Every time he spends money on his other woman, I get double the cashback in my bank account.

Lyra Winters has been in a long-distance relationship with her boyfriend Ethan for over a year. When their once-perfect connection begins to fray, Lyra plans the ultimate Valentine's Day surprise—an engagement that will reignite their love, complete with a romantic getaway to the Maldives. But when a shocking betrayal shatters her world, Lyra finds herself in an unexpected and unpredictable situation. A chance encounter with a stranger—Roman Lennox, a successful and enigmatic CEO—leads to a surprising turn of events. In a moment of anger and heartbreak, Lyra makes a bold decision that will change the course of both their lives. As the lines between duty and desire blur, Lyra and Roman embark on a journey neither of them expected. With a fake engagement on the horizon, can a holiday romance turn into something real, or will the challenges ahead threaten to pull them apart?

“Go change.” “And if I don’t?” I cross my arms, frowning at him. His lips curls into a somewhat dangerous smile. “Then I’ll do it for you.” 🌸❧✧❀✧❧🌸 Daisy Ripley has spent her whole life living in her stepsister’s shadow. Whatever Zyla wanted, Daisy was forced to hand over. Her toys, her gifts, and even her first birthday car. But when Zyla announces her engagement to Daisy’s ex-boyfriend and first love, something inside Daisy finally snaps. Still reeling from the betrayal, Daisy agrees to attend a company dinner party… hoping to actually forget, just for one night. Instead, she’s kidnapped. Sold. And delivered straight into the hands of Reis Vireli—the most dangerous mafia boss in Chicago. And one thing you should know about Reis: He never lets go of anything and anybody that belongs to him.

"you will abort the baby" Anthony's voice was cold and rough. "I don't want a child" "I can't abort it" Avery's voice was small, fear hidden beneath it. Her hands went to her stomach instinctively and wrapped around it protectively. "It's not a request." Anthony's voice was calm but threatening and it stirred a warning inside Avery. A warning that he wasn't to be messed with. "It's an order. I own you for the next one year and you will do as I say" Avery wanted to yell at him but she couldn't. Even as he sat in a wheelchair, he still looked powerful and threatening. There was just something about him that scared people. "Now get lost" he rumbled and Avery's chest tightened. She couldn't bear to get rid of her only reason to hope. Her father kicked them out of the house months ago with no apparent means of survival and her mother had become gravely ill, bills piling up, and no one left to turn to, she agrees to the unthinkable. An arranged marriage to a dying billionaire she barely knows. He’s cold and cruel. And he makes it clear he wants nothing more than a convenient end to this marriage. But Avery’s not giving up that easily. If she’s going to sacrifice everything, she’s determined to make him fall for her, for hope and for the future neither of them planned

Once, I was their princess. And then Kylee showed up. Having been in the foster system the majority of her childhood, my parents treated her like a charity case and gave her everything. At 13 years old, Kylee was adopted. Then the "accidents" started happening. Kylee would be walking past me and would suddenly fall over. "Oh, Mom! Sarah didn't mean it! Shes just having a hard time adjusting to her new sister!" Eventually, her little accusations turned into straight out bullying and, well, I'm sure you can figure out the rest. I did my best to ignore Kylee. I got a job as early as the law would allow. I saved my money. I got the best grades in school, becoming the class valedictorian. My parents didn't notice, though. They were too busy playing into Kylee's 5-year-long pity party. Don't worry, though. Soon I'll be gone to Harvard and you can have the happy family you wanted. I don't need you, anyways.

Elle was drawn to Navid from the moment she saw him for the first time. Who wouldn't be attracted to Navid? He is a good man—nearly perfect—and treats her and her grandmother with great respect. And because of the goodness he has shown, Elle couldn't help but fall in love with Navid. She knew Navid couldn't love her, so she kept her feelings for him hidden. However, due to a one-night mistake, Navid was forced to marry her. But, despite being married, nothing appears to have changed in their relationship. Their marriage was only on paper, nothing more. Nevertheless, Elle refuses to give up. She has loved Navid for years, and now that she has the opportunity to make him feel the same way she does, she will not pass it up. So she devised a plan—a plan to seduce and romance her own husband.