The Way He Looked at Me
But my hand is back in my pants, thoughts sluggish, heart hammering.
I’ve watched that memento video his video, my voice, my obsession six hundred times tonight. Conservative estimate. I can’t do it again. My voice, desperate, raw, horny it hurts to hear it. Like nails scraping bone. I can’t face another alert from his profile. Pride won’t allow it.
I log into the vault. Send the video. Done. Finished. Time to log off. But I don’t. I’m too wired, too consumed. My thoughts spiral. I consider sedation. A horse tranquilizer might do it. Anything to shut my mind down.