I Hate Myself For Cheating Novels & Stories

She ruined every single fucking thing! I was breathing quite loudly. I couldn’t get enough oxygen. You know the feeling when you just hate yourself for making the same mistakes over and over again? Well that was exactly my condition! How can I trust her? She has cheated on me before! But it did happen and I couldn’t believe it. Everything was open and now for every single second that I had with her, I have a different perspective.

I went back inside the hospital after the thing I did in the parking lot. I did not agree with Sean's explanation for why he was cheating on her wife. Cheating is never justified, no matter the circumstances. I found Aoife peacefully sleeping in the hospital bed. I went to the bathroom first to wash my mouth after the sin I committed. I face myself in the mirror, and all I can see is the dirt from my body that only I can see. "You are a stupid, dirty, and unfaithful friend, Mollie," I whispered to myself.

“I was doing the same thing you were. But I was way dumber about it.” “Trying to make distance.” “I love him so much that sometimes I think my heart will burst. It was too much. I knew if he ever left me, I’d die.” “So why cheat?” “Self-sabotage, I guess. It was one of my exes. The guy was nowhere near as hot as Allen. I thought I might feel something with him and prove that Allen didn’t already have all of me.” “That sounds crazy.” “I know.” She tugged at a bit of thread drooping from her steering wheel cover. “It was.”

This will not go well; even talking to someone will piss someone off. This horrible day is my fault. I've done this to both of them, to all three of us. I couldn't keep my legs together long enough. Sex was a rite of passage, remember? How fucking stupid I was to believe that sex was going to change anything about me. It's made me worse. I've lied and cheated. I've hated myself for it. Sex isn't worth it. Even if I love Aiden. I am confused by all of this. "I'll go and get him. He's not happy with you. And now I can see why," Brittany barks.

My girlfriend's stoic expression didn't let on how she was feeling, but I knew better. My face flushed uncomfortably, and I was half standing as I kept ranting. "I don't need you—Blythe or Nixx whatever the fuck you want to be called right now. Can't you see I'm a bad person? I cheated on you. I betrayed Kate. I almost drove my best friend away for good last year, and my parents are six feet under because of me." "You know that's not true." Blythe growled softly, but all I could think about was hurting her bad enough to leave and never look back. I didn't deserve her concern, understanding, or love.

I don’t want her to hate me because I was so guilty of what I did. I could’ve stopped her but I didn’t. I could’ve tapped her cheek waking her up and telling her that “Hey Yoo-Mi, it’s me Josh!” I could’ve avoided her and left her alone in the room, but I didn’t! I fucking didn’t! And I took advantage of her system being drugged! I hate myself! I fucking hate myself for what I did to her!

It felt like something was stuck in my throat because of all the things I wanted to say but couldn't. Why am I even disgusted? I feel like I'm the biggest hypocrite right now. I also fucked a stranger just minutes ago. I should be disgusted with myself as well. But crap, this hurts so much imagining he's been so good to me but actually cheating with my very own sister. How long have they been deceiving me?

I felt I would go insane with the silence. I lay down and stared at the ceiling. Questioning my worth and what I did wrong to deserve to be cheated. I felt worthless, useless, and ugly. All the hurtful words—I just called myself. I'm not ugly, to be honest, but my husband still cheated on me. Thinking about him again and the scene I saw—my tears started falling like heavy rain. Being ugly or not sexy is not a valid reason for someone's partner to cheat and I don't remember any serious problems we had for him to do that.

You turned me into an animal. If you only did not cheat on me! But as they say that this is a test, one more experience that I need to go through in order to make myself complete. The fucked up thing is that I had to go through it twice, but then again, the second time, I did bring it upon myself. So should I really blame him? Fuck that, he cheated. There is no excuse for that.

“After everything. After my last ex, I swore I’d never let someone fool me again. I still got lied to. Again. And this time it’s worse. This time it’s hurting you. My best friend. The person who’s always had my back. The person who forgave me after our rough patch. The person who just forgave me again yesterday. And now I’ve hurt you worse than ever. I feel so stupid. So used. So… disgusting. Like I should’ve known. Like I should’ve seen the red flags. The privacy. The no-photos. The quiet dates. The way he always paid cash. The way he never invited me to his place during the day. I thought it was just… shyness. Introversion. Now I see it was all calculated. All lies. And I fell for it. I fe