If You So Desire My Despair Novels & Stories

When 22 year old Elena Rossi accidentally witnesses a cold-blooded mafia execution, ruthless don Dominic Valenti should silence her forever. Instead, with one heated gaze and a whispered threat "Your silence binds you to me, little one” he spares her life, igniting a forbidden obsession neither can escape. Tormented by the dangerous age gap and his own darkness, Dominic takes Elena captive in his lavish estate, surrounding her with guards and iron rules meant to keep her safe... and him in control. But every locked door, every brush of proximity, every jealous glare only fans the flames. As rival families circle and secrets from Dominic’s bloody past surface, Elena discovers the devastating price of his protectionand a betrayal that shatters her trust. Fleeing the man who has become both monster and addiction, Elena is seized by his enemies, forcing Dominic to unleash hell to reclaim her. Rescued amid rivers of blood, their passion finally explodes, binding them in ways deeper and more irreversible than either imagined. Yet just as Elena chooses to stand beside the devil who owns her soul, a life-altering secret threatens to change everything... Will their dark love conquer the war closing in or destroy them both?

When Avery got out of prison and received a divorce notice from her husband Abel, her heart shattered and pain engulfed her soul. Abel only left her to be with his first love, making a mockery of her love and sacrifices. Avery vowed to punish him. But when Avery's true identity was revealed, it was discovered that she came from a powerful family and was also the most sought-after doctor, Abel swore to get her back.

Elian Lanchester doesn’t need a bodyguard, he needs the world to stay out of his way. Cold, calculated, and impossible to touch, the tech billionaire has built an empire with his brain and burned bridges with his bite. But when a stalker’s threats become dangerously real, his board forces him to get a bodyguard. Unfortunately, they send Dax Reyes, a man Elian hates genuinely. Back in military university, Elian was the guy everyone idolised because of his riches while Dax was a scholarship student who swore to be a ruthless dedicated soldier. Dax is rugged, discreet and unshakably disciplined. The ex-military bodyguard is everything Elian despises and everything he can’t stop watching. Dax isn’t intimidated by Elian’s wealth or his venom. He’s unbothered in the face of provocation, even when the tension burning between them threatens to set the house on fire. But Dax has secrets of his own. He has a family, a past and a line he swore never to cross. When one kiss turns into something that can no longer be denied, Elian and Dax find themselves on the edge of something real and terrifying. Then a bullet changes everything. Desire turns to devastation. Lies twist into betrayal and just when Elian thinks he’s been used and discarded, he discovers the truth was never what it seemed. Now, it's a race against the silence they've both used as an armor. And this time, loving each other might be the most dangerous thing of all.

Prologue Nathan sat on the roof with a portrait in his hand. He has been looking at her portrait for the past hours and he is not ready to let go of it. He stared at the picture with a satisfied smile on his face. His Sadie! He just can't stop staring at her. She was really his sweet angel which portray the meaning of her name. Sadie! He hugged the portrait before dropping it. He picked up his drawing paper and pencil ready to sketch her beautiful face again. Every corner of his room has her picture, everything! And almost all his belongings too. His plates were designed with her picture, his phone pouch was her, his wrist band has her name. His private company is in her name, his box has her picture, his closet, just name it. The workers thought he's running mad, no one believed it's love except his family and of course, his personal guard. He smiled at nothing closing his eyes before starting the sketching. He's been stalking her ever since that faithful day they met , that faithful day she became his sweet angel. He knows her every moves, everything she does and how she's being treated in her own home . He turned his hand in a fist and his jaw tightened. The thougt of that does nothing but angers him. He wants to save her, he wants to take her out of that bondage but it's not yet time. She doesn't even recognize him, it will be insane to go ask her out for marriage when she doesn't know him . He's going to make them pay, watching his Sadie from a far distance seeing her in tears, seeing her lonely, seeing her sad and seeing her feeling unloved hurt his heart so much

"Velda Griffin is suspected to have allied with the rogues to harm Sienna Armstrong, the Luna-to-be. Today, she shall be sentenced to a memory trial." The huge memory crystal glints coldly on the tribunal. My ex-fiance, Alpha Lorcan Cillian of the Moonshadow pack, maintains an arrogant expression. There's nothing but disgust in his eyes. "All of the vile things that you've done shall be reflected on the memory crystal. Let the entire pack witness your true colors, you filthy bitch!" Sienna reclines against Lorcan's body, a smug smile etched on her face. She thinks my reputation will be completely tarnished. Although my limbs are bound with silver chains, a faint, relieved smile has appeared on my pale face. "Are you sure you want to see my memories, Lorcan? Once you start… there's no turning back."

At my wedding, the giant screen that's supposed to show our photos suddenly switches to the groom's assistant's prenatal exam report. It clearly shows that he is the child's father. The assistant looks flustered and panicked as she rushes to apologize to me. The groom, on the other hand, stays perfectly calm and offers an explanation like it's no big deal. "I took pity on her because she got pregnant out of wedlock, so I went with her to the appointment and left my name. I'm going to be her kid's godfather, too." The day of her exam was also the day I went for my very first prenatal checkup. Everyone thinks I'll break down, but I simply reach up and tear off my veil. Then, I calmly schedule an abortion. "She really is pitiful, being pregnant without a partner by her side. She deserves this wedding more than I do." Then, I raise my champagne glass to congratulate him. "Congratulations to you both. May your shotgun wedding be a happy one, especially since it's happening with a bun in the oven."

Five years down the drain! Clair Green stares at the divorce papers in her hand. Never did she think she would be in this position. Then she thinks back over the last few months of her life with Mike—all the secret phone calls, the whispers in the dark and eventually the pictures that she was not supposed to see. At last, she could put a name to it all. Sienna Whitfield. In pain and ready to forget all of her trouble, she walks tall into the Banquet Hall. It is where the charity event will take place. Then she sees him - a man with so much authority, handsome and older—a man no one can miss. A man who walks like he owns the world, full of confidence. He walks up to her and talks to her, but when he introduces himself, she knows her desire for this man can never be fulfilled. The man who ignited the Flames of Desire in her is no one else but Damon Withfield. He is the uncle of her enemy. He is related to the woman who stole her husband. He is Sienna Whitfield's uncle!

While in school, Hillary Futon was dared by her friends to kiss her childhood crush, Nathan Trent. He is the cutest boy in school and it is rumored that he is the only heir of the Trents group of companies. She kept shying away from it because everyone knows how much Nathan hates to be with a woman. But on their graduation day, she decides to just take the challenge and do it just for the fun of it. She never knew that her life is going to change after that one kiss... Nathan Trent is the only son of Simon Trent and heir to the Trents empire. He is so handsome and cold tempered yet every girl wishes to be his girlfriend but he can't be close to any girl because he gets irritated by their presence. His position as heir was being disputed by the elders in the Trents household because he has never been seen with a woman, so everyone assumes that he is gay and the elders would never approve of a gay man leading the family businesses Nathan never dates and he never commits to a woman, but when he got a kiss from Hillary, he knew he wanted her for himself.

Evelyn Harlow’s been fighting for every inch her whole life. She drags grief like a shadow, drowns in debt, and keeps pushing through a world that’s never given her a break. Then her mother dies, and everything falls apart. She’s desperate, looking for any way out. That’s when Kieran “KJ” James walks in—slick smile, dangerous eyes, a plan that sounds straight-up impossible. Two years back, Eve’s identical twin, Sophia, supposedly died in a fire at billionaire Alexander Voss’s mansion. No body. No closure. People kept whispering—maybe Sophia ran, maybe she hid, maybe she vanished on purpose. Now KJ wants Eve to step in. Take Sophia’s place. One year. One identity. One fortune. All she has to do is walk into Sophia’s old life and pretend she fits. But Alexander Voss isn’t what she pictured. He’s cold, tightly wound, broken in ways money can’t fix. He loved Sophia—obsessively. The moment “she” comes back, the air between them snaps. Fury, longing, and old ghosts crowd every second. Their attraction burns, sharp and reckless. Every touch shakes Eve’s lies. Every look pulls Alex closer. She’s slipping—wrong memories, details she can’t fake, secrets she doesn’t know. Then Marcus Kane—Sophia’s ex, Alex’s old best friend—spots her. He doesn’t blow her cover. Just circles, waiting for his chance. And when Detective Reyes reopens the fire case, the truth starts to claw its way out. Sophia didn’t run. She died. And someone wants Eve next. Desire. Danger. Lies that burn. Welcome to Ashes of Desire.

I should step back. But I don’t. His hand slides to my waist, firm, deliberate. Not asking. Claiming. My stomach tightens, heat curling low, and I feel every inch of him before I even see him. He’s behind me, close enough that I can feel his breath at my neck. My pulse stutters as his fingers trace slow, unhurried circles up my back, and I know I should pull away… but I can’t. His lips brush my neck. Not a kiss yet, just the promise of it. My head tilts back before I can stop myself, back arching like my body is betraying me. Then he speaks. Low, calm, in control “Don’t make a sound.” A shiver runs through me. Not from fear. Not exactly. From… him. He’s in control. I can’t fight it. I don’t want to. And somewhere deep inside, I realize the terrifying truth: I’m letting him have me.