Jack Sparrow Quotes Funny Novels & Stories

Spike started with a loud belly laugh which lasted a while before he said, "Oh good, I can call up and cancel you horse ..." I looked at him in shock, "WHY?" "Cause you only asked me if I really thought you had a pretty little ass; you didn't say anything about the horse." "OH YOU! You know what I mean. MEN! They can be such pain in the ass." "Ummmm ... Honey, if you don't want men to be a pain in your ass, offer him your pussy instead." "OH MY GOD! To think I woke up in such a great mood this morning!"

“Jack sparrow isn’t a hunter, he’s a captain. Captain Jack Sparrow.“ he mimicked the character and the imitation was spot on. I laughed so hard the snort bubbles out of my nose, and I almost bathed us in pee. Almost. “He’s a pirate nonetheless,” I interjected, and he nodded, “You’re right. And pirates and treasure hunts are like, hell and fire…” I could hear the smile in his voice even though I was hurried in his chest. The smile on my face was almost permanent, and if I had thought that I was happy with Poseidon, Then I was wrong. That wasn’t even close to happiness. This was everything sunshine and rainbow.

He had angrily opened the door to give her a piece of his mind but here he was still in the doorway awkwardly consoling the woman whose emotional change was faster than saying, Jack. "Ever heard of sarcasm?" Jessica asked standing up. "I went to Harvard" He answered simply as of he was supposed to give her all the answers to all the questions in the world. "Well, your Harvard certificate did not teach you what sarcasm is. I was being sarcastic. I was crying because of the news of today and I expected you to know that and not ask me why I am crying" she answered. "I didn't want to assume," he said looking down at his feet.

The worry in his voice stuck with me and I squeezed him tighter. “I’ll try,” I told him and heard Jasper scoff behind me. “She has never been able to keep herself out of trouble.” He laughed “That’s like asking a fish not to swim.” He carried on. “Jasper, shut up!” I scolded him before he could embarrass me or himself anymore.

Besides, who exactly gave Todd the illusion that he was someone important? I scoffed. "Todd Westman, from the moment you had the audacity to spout all that, you lost the right to speak to me." People could only communicate meaningfully when they were on the same intellectual level. Seeing how resolute I was, Todd struggled frantically and screamed, "No… Babe, listen to me. I can explain. I was just confused for a second. I love you!" "Shut up. Just listening to you makes my ears feel dirty."

Sam raised his brow again, his eyes twinkling with cunning. As Jasper was still staring fixedly and pensively at Renee, Sam clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Once I help you, we three can get together and live happily ever after. Deal—oof!" Jasper's elbow had struck him viciously in the chest as he finished, leaving his face contorting and his teeth gritted in pain. "Shit, I'm just trying to help, but you're trying to kill me!" "Your life is worth less than your brains," Jasper replied, puffing out a mouthful of smoke at his face. "And when you're dead, I'll have your brain removed for research purposes. That would definitely still make it valuable."

About fifteen minutes into the drive, I asked, “Why so slow?” “Oh, I’m sorry. Do you feel the need, the need for… going faster?” I laughed so loudly I almost snorted and had to put both of my hands over my nose since even a baby like me recognizes the famous movie quote he almost said. “You’re a funny guy in an unassuming way.” He turned a slight shade of pink. “Yeah, well, in our line of work you have to find some way to be a little bit of a comedian, or you’ll end up in the loony bin.”

Ciara’s POV “S-spy?” I repeated, my voice catching slightly as I stared at him, trying to process what he had just said, but Jasper only grinned like he had just suggested something simple, something normal, like asking me to pass him a glass of water instead of dragging me into something that could get me killed. “Yes, wifey… spy,” he said again, that same twisted smile stretching across his face as if this was all amusing to him, as if my life wasn’t hanging somewhere between his madness and whatever game he was playing.

"Watch yourself, Jack! Don't you dare disrespect my mysterious fan! She's probably a young and stunning woman, with a secret identity akin to a superhero." Jack pouts dramatically, pretending to be deeply offended. "Are you trying to assassinate me for a harmless joke, Michael? Be cautious, my friend, for I might have to summon the reinforcements to protect me!" We both burst into laughter, the tension dissolving in the presence of our enduring friendship and lighthearted banter. Eventually, Jack concedes defeat, his laughter still lingering as he makes his way out of the room.

he said sarcastically. Jackass. "Ha ha very funny, I'm being serious Adrian," I said. "It's nothing serious, he's fine," he answered. Of course he is. I thought rolling my eyes internally. "Oh," I said. "Did you get hurt?" I asked, "Is that worry I hear wife?" He said, the same teasing time from earlier. "Ugh, forget i ever asked,?" I said dramatically, rolling my eyes. "I'm fine," he answered. "Who was it? The Orphan spy?" I asked.