Masked Feelings Novels & Stories

I don't understand why I had to act in a certain way or feel certain emotions. "You want to know how I feel Jamie?" I finally shouted at her, my anger suddenly getting the better of me as my fists clenched at me side and my canines extended from my gums. "I feel numb. I feel like there is nothing which is ever going to make me happy again. I can't cry because I haven't got the energy to be able to cry, just like I don't have the energy to hate people. I feel like I have just lost the biggest part of my life and I feel like I will never be able to smile again. Now, you want to know why I can't hate El?"

The bitterness had not disappeared—it had only hidden itself, growing thicker, darker, waiting for the day it might spill over. Even as I maintained my robotic face, reading out meetings in a voice as neutral as an automated system, I felt my chest too full to contain itself. My heart was heavy, rancid almost, with unspoken words. I wondered, with a pang that turned sharp, how he could seem so unaffected. “You asked for it,” I chided myself. “You wanted this,” I reminded myself. “This indifference is for the best,” I reassured myself. So I smiled a little too tightly. I carried clipboards and laptops like armor. And I refused to let a single emotion leak out.

My emotions are confused, a chaotic mix of anger, hurt, confusion, and a faint glimmer of compassion. The atmosphere between us is heavy, laden with resentment. I notice a single tear trickle down Karen's cheek, and without thinking, I reach my finger to her chin and gently lift it, forcing her to meet my gaze. I regretfully realize that she is truly crying. I desperately search for something to say to Karen, but my mind is blank, unable to find words that can console her, especially when I am consumed by fury and inner conflict.

The pressure he carried trying to stay strong. The fear of failing me. The guilt from moments he felt emotionally weak. The silent terror that he might lose me someday and never recover from it. Tears slipped down my face instantly. Because love changes when people stop hiding inside it. The network pulsed around us. Billions of humans experiencing the same thing. Masks collapsing. Emotional walls breaking. And the reactions were chaotic. Some people pulled away in horror. Some cried uncontrollably. Some apologized immediately for pain they never realized they caused.

The emotion overwhelms me, squeezing my chest in an almost painful way. Aria reacts. Her cold hand grips mine tightly. When I look at her, I see her eyes glistening, tears shining under the white light of the office. It’s a flash of the Aria I knew, the Aria I love, even though she still feels so distant. She’s here, now. I bring her hand to my lips and kiss it gently, wanting her to feel what words can’t convey. When a small smile forms on her lips, something inside me warms, lighting up the emptiness I’ve been feeling.

"I'm not glad—" "Then what? What are you feeling that's making you so confused?" I take a breath, trying to find words for emotions I don't fully understand myself. "I feel the mate bond when I'm near them. It pulls at me, wants me to get closer. And I hate that. I hate that my body responds to them despite what they did." I move closer to Ivan. "But I also see that they're different. Broken in ways they weren't before. Maybe genuinely remorseful."

Like we never talked. The indifference in his expression is like a knife twisting in my chest. It's worse than anger, worse than disgust. At least those would acknowledge my existence. Emotions flood through me like a dam bursting—hurt, anger, disappointment, and something deeper I can't even name. It's like every rejection, every dismissive look, every moment I've been made to feel invisible is crashing over me at once. My hands shake as I grab the microphone. I scroll through the song list with trembling fingers until I find my favorite song.

But the office remained silent. The memory of the day played in her mind. She recalled his tense expression during the meeting and the way his jaw had tightened when he answered his phone. In those moments, he had seemed so vulnerable. It was as if the mask of confidence he wore by day had slipped, revealing a hidden pain. That glimpse made her heart ache and pull her even closer to him in her thoughts.

••• My face was masked with chilling indifference that I perfected a long time ago and I knew she can see and felt the tension evaporating from my pores. As my eyes zeroed on her face, the fear and the anger I had expected weren't there and it never came. But what I saw when I looked into her face both fascinate and irritate me more. Her face contorted in confusion and pure sadness. A gut-wrenching sadness automatically shifts the heavy air in the room into a melancholy beating of our hearts.