Mom Quotes Funny

"Make sure you wipe the counter," I remind him while wearing my panties. "With my tongue?" "Sure, if you wipe again with disinfectant after that." "Awww my little girl all grown up, using the word disinfectant and all. Bet you're getting deflowered any day now!" I smack his head while he laughs, thinking it's funny to keep on teasing me since last week. "I hope his willy isn't as big as mine," okay what now, "so he won't hurt your flower." I wanted to be mad at him, I do, but I laugh instead, stupid Toffer and his little boy talk. *** 30 year old Nina is confused with her hopeless love life. While her best friend pleasures women in the next room, she remains in her space keeping her virginity in-tact, wondering if she’s meant to be with her first love or she needs to move on to find her true soulmate. It takes my first love to end my dating strike. But will it take my first love to end my virginity?

When Anastasia finally separated from her childhood best friend and first love, her world almost came crashing. She was only 8 years old when she was sent out of the country to further her education and 12 years later, Anna returns to New York a new version of herself, hoping that one day, fate would certainly bring Dylan Scott back to her. But unfortunately, there's a twist as an arranged marriage was put in place for Anna and all efforts to cancel her marriage with James Smith fails. Just a year into the marriage, a devastated Anna goes clubbing and mistakenly gets involved in a one night stand with a total stranger. Two weeks later, after Anna discovers that she is pregnant, she files for a divorce, and walks out of her marriage with James Smith who doesn't seem to care about her even a little bit, but like a child, fate plays yet another trick on Anastasia, letting her encounter the man she had never stopped loving for 18 years, and how does she react when she discovers that Dylan Scott is the father of Emma, the result of her one night stand 5 years ago.

Aaron Morris had it all. Good looks, a beautiful girlfriend, good grades in college. He only had one problem. He was being stalked by a red-haired nightmare otherwise known as Bella Davis! She was the bane of his existence, a thorn on his side who won't leave him alone no matter what. Will he ever get rid of her or will she continue to annoy him with her unrequited love?*This is the spin-off of The Ugly One but can be read as a stand alone novel. However, I recommended you read that one first :)*

“You will never change.” That’s the last thing she said before she disappeared from his life. The last memories he ever had with the person that he realized he loved the most... but what can his realization do? When the tiniest bit of good memory with her was not left for him to reminisce,. But he will change. He knows he can change himself, just so she will be able to accept himself into her life once again. He will pamper her for an entire lifetime, even for the twins that she got from another man but.. Why? Why is she choosing him? Can he only look at her far afar, watching her happy with another man with the twin babies he found out as his? Will they be able to go back to the past?

"If you want a divorce, sabihin mo lang, and I will give it to you." "Tapos ano? Mawawalan ako ng karapatan sa bahay natin na milyun-milyon ang kontribusyon ko? 'Di na lang, uy! Magtiis tayo sa isa't-isa, sa hirap at ginhawa, araw at gabi, magpakailan-kailanman. Amen!" Hope Ryker Lee, the ultimate prankster, is set to marry Elisse Garcia, an heiress with a temper hotter than the sun and social skills colder than Antarctica. Hope wanted a partner as fun and lively as he is, but Elisse is introverted, snarky, and definitely not interested in playing along with Hope's high-energy antics. For Elisse, the marriage is purely a means to secure her inheritance. So, her master plan? Marry Hope, take over the company, and then kick him out of her life. Simple, right? Not quite. There's a catch: whoever calls it quits first loses their claim to their multi-million house. When Hope discovers her scheme, the real fun begins. Hilarious and heated war of pranks, sabotage, and emotional showdowns turn their home into an epic battlefield. Can they survive the chaos, or will they stumble into love amidst the madness? Get ready for a rollercoaster of laughs, schemes, and surprising twists in this comedic clash of opposites!

Warning!!! This book contains lots of steamy and sensual content's!! Be warned guys!! ** Becky's dad had just died during the war front, and the news of her father's death broke her so hard, but what broke her more was that after seven months of her father's death,her mom has fallen in love with another man and seems happy with him. Little does she know that she would fall in love with her mom's lover, her step dad and may break her mom's heart, who knows? Dive in to uncover deceit, backstabbing, anger and hatred at its peak!!

Nagkaroon ng kaguluhan sa coffee shop na pinagtratrabahuhan ni Sabina, isang guwapong customer ang tinamaan ng baril. Duguan itong gumapang sa pinagtataguan niya at hiniling na itago niya at pakaingatan ang maliit na box. Ngunit parang nanadya ang tadhana ng araw na iyon. Pagkatapos ng pangyayari ay tumawag naman ang step-mother niya para sabihing naaksidente ang Papa niya. Hindi na natapos pa ang kanyang kamalasan simula ng araw na iyon. Pagkatapos maratay ng Papa niya sa ospital ng ilang linggo ay binawian na rin ito ng buhay. Pagkatapos ay pinalayas siya ng kanyang madrasta sa kanilang bahay at ibenenta nito ang bahay na pag-aari ng kanyang mga magulang. Hindi pa duon natapos ang kasamaan nito. Nadiskubre niyang hindi aksidente ang nangyari sa Papa niya. Ipinapatay ito ng madrasta niya para makuha nito ang insurance ng Papa niya. Sa sobrang galit at naisipan niyang maghiganti. Aakitin niya ang bilyonaryong fiance ng step-sister niya. Laking gulat niya nang mapagtantong ang fiance nito ay ang guwapong cutomer niya sa coffee shop! At hinahanap nito sa kanya ang ipinatago nitong box. Ang problema, hindi na niya maalala kung saan niya nailagay iyon! Nanganganib ang buhay ng guwapong lalaki kapag hindi niya nahanap ang box. Ngunit mas nanganganib ang puso niya dahil napagtanto niyang umiibig na pala siya sa guwapong lalaki na nadiskubre niyang isa palang Mafia Boss.

Cassandra Johnson is Pixie. Pixie is Cassandra Johnson. She's the same girl who's leading two extremely different lives. Nobody would suspect the school's nerd as Pixie. 'Cause Pixie's a street fighter badass and the nerd does not have a single badass bone in her body. The chances of people discovering this peculiar secret is close to none but of course this is where fate inserts the certified new boy into the equation and makes an exception for him. Warning: heavy flow of profanities ahead. - and tears - or so I've heard.

She was a receptionist in one of her friend's luxurious hotels when he walked there to destroy the complete hotel. She remembers him as she knows him well since high school but he doesn't remember her because she is no more the fatty girl which she was back in her high school time. To save her friend's hotel she stood before him and he abduct her from the place. He manipulates her to become his girlfriend. Few months after he forced her into contract marriage. Several exposures exposed in her life and love blooms between them.

There are a few grammatical errors, please bear with me Emily Cole a simple bubbly, serious/fashion minded 22 year old from Seattle that stays in new York and works for one of the prestigious company in NewYork . Her family is everything to her, her mom, dad, sister not forgetting her bestie Susan .Working in the finance department as an assistant to the financial advisor. An incident occurs and she's promoted to the personal assistant for the boss. Her life becomes a roller coaster of drama as she not only falls in love with her boss, but also managed to get a few enemies What else could go wrong for Emily? Damien Richardson, an arrogant billionaire, he's got everything a man could ask for. Good looks, greek god body, unlimited bank balance and any woman he wants at his beck and call. Not forgetting his "on and off " girlfriend.He's arrogant, possessive,and absolutely cold. He doesn't believe in love To top it all of a crazy ex-girlfriend seeking revenge His former P.A betrayed him and he finds himself hiring Emily Cole to fill the position. What he doesn't know is that his life can never be the same again.With a crazy ex-girlfriend on the loose and a stalker Follow the amazing drama filled story of Emily and Damien.