On My Own Pretending He's Beside Me Novels & Stories

I tried to mimic his ease, though my nerves hummed like live wires. Over wine, I whispered, “They’re staring.” “Good,” he said simply. “Let them.” It was ridiculous—sitting across from him, pretending this was a date, while my heart thudded like it believed it. Every whisper around us seemed louder than the soft piano notes drifting from the corner. I adjusted my posture constantly, hyper-aware of every blink, every shift of my gown beneath the chandeliers. The urge to shrink into the chair was almost overwhelming. Halfway through the meal, my phone buzzed. Maya, of course: Smile like you love him. I’m watching on livestream.

I said. He repeated, "Public?" as his eyes grew wide. Not so sure of yourself anymore, huh? I turned to face him and nodded while a faint smile played across my lips in response to his distress. I almost chuckled. Where is Mr. Cool and Confident at this moment? I sneered, "Is that a problem?" “No, it's not a problem at all,” he said after clearing his throat and again adjusting his position.

“Always remember Jeoff that my brother’s soul is just around us. So, it is not just the two of us hearing your illusion. I have to go now.” “Okay, I will just follow.” “Follow?” You can’t sleep well. You might want someone to sleep with you, because if I am beside you, you can easily fall asleep.” “Wow, do you think you are my sleeping pills.” Then, I already went out. And when I entered my room, I was really waiting for Jeoff. It is so weird, I am making him believe that I don’t want it but the fact is I really want. The door opened and I pretend to be busy with my laptop with lots of Korean dramas. I am blushing to the main actor.

I studied him for a second, trying to decide if he even realized what that sounded like, if he understood that he had just made this about himself again without even thinking about it. “Right,” I said quietly. “That makes sense.” His gaze sharpened slightly. “I’m serious.” “So am I.” I stepped closer without thinking about it, “You want me to stand next to you tonight and pretend everything is fine,” I said. “You want me to smile, let people look at us and believe whatever version of this you’re comfortable with.” He didn’t answer, and that silence told me everything I needed to know. I nodded once. “Fine,” I said. “I’ll go.”

I won’t get my hopes up; he may just be going to use the bathroom or get a drink. His footsteps seem to be getting closer, and he comes into the bedroom. I roll onto my side and pretend to be asleep. The bed dips from behind me, and the warmth of his body soon radiates against mine. His front to my back. I stay still and don’t say a word.

“ No, that's not why! “ he started to justify himself, panicking at the fake sadness in her eyes “ It's just that... I mean... It could cause problems..." “What nonsense. “ she laughed, delighted “ I'm not going to sleep next to anyone. I will be with you. What else could happen?" She pretended to ask a rhetorical question, even though she not only knew very well what could happen, but what she wanted to happen. “Well, uh... Yeah, yeah, you're right." he gulped, nodding half-heartedly as he scratched the back of his neck “It's not like anything bad could happen..."

You're asking me to pretend, to play a role, and it's getting harder to tell where the act ends and where I begin. He didn't flinch, didn't move. His eyes just softened, and for a moment, I saw something in them. Something real. "I know it's not easy," he said quietly. "But we're in this together, Isabel. I'm not asking you to go through this alone." "Are you sure about that?" I whispered back, my voice shaking as a shaky breath fell away from me. "Because sometimes it feels like I am the only one pretending. The words hung heavy in the air between us. I wasn't expecting an answer, not really. But when he took one step closer, when his presence enveloped me once again, I didn't pull away.

I lose myself in it, in him, and believe—even if it’s for a second—that all of this is real and let him chase the last shred of doubt from my mind. Cheers erupt from the crowd. Someone whistles, inciting more laughs and clapping. I can forget that this group is full of gun-wielding soldiers. I can even forget that none of my friends or family are aware of what I’ve done. But I didn’t do anything. This is all pretend. Right?

“Because from where I’m standing, you’re one throaty moan away from making that man combust.” I round on him. “Do you ever stop talking?” He grins. “Do you ever stop pretending?” That shuts me up. But not in the victorious way he’s hoping for. Because that last jab? It hits too close. I am pretending. Every second of every day. Pretending I don’t watch Jace’s hands like they might reach for me. Pretending I don’t dream about his voice breaking on my name. Pretending the thought of him losing control doesn’t make my mouth go dry and my thighs press together under the sheets at night.

he said, grinning in that way that made lying look charming. “I look like I could use not being watched for a change,” I answered. I sat on the bench opposite and let my hands rest in my lap. The wood left an imprint in the skin of my thighs. For a moment I just listened to him breathe and the house breathing around us. It was a small, merciful quiet. He pretended to study a ledger, then thumped it closed and reached across to flick my knuckle. The gesture was almost childish. It made the tightness behind my ribs loosen.