Pickup Lines Tagalog Funny Novels & Stories

My cousin, Sonia Sanders, only trusts OmniGo Maps, or OmniGo, for everything. While waiting for the bus during a trip, the bus that we are supposed to get on pulls into the station. However, Sonia grabs my arm and says, "Amanda, OmniGo says that our bus is only arriving in another ten minutes. This is not our bus!" I watch helplessly as the bus pulls out of the station, ultimately making me miss my flight and forcing me to pay double the price for another ticket back home. Once, after work, Sonia sees the green arrow on OmniGo and floors the gas pedal at a road intersection. She says confidently, "OmniGo says it's supposed to be a green light! That means this traffic light is wrong!" I look at the red light in horror. Before I can stop her, a vehicle driving ordinarily past the intersection crashes right into our car. In the end, my legs have to be amputated, and I become wheelchair-bound, while Sonia only suffers a mild concussion and a fracture. One rainy day, Sonia calls me an Uber to go to my follow-up at the hospital, but she sets the pickup point at a location that is flooded a third of a mile away. I try to change the pickup point to my home, but she snatches my phone away and says, "OmniGo says that this pickup point is highly recommended for disabled people to board. You can't just change the pickup point as you like!" As a result, I fall into a puddle, wheelchair and all. Sonia doesn't even turn back to look at me and leaves me behind. Because of the rain and the prolonged soaking of my wounds in the dirty puddle, I develop a severe infection, which then leads to multiple organ failure. Despite being rushed to the emergency unit afterward, I ultimately die from the infection. When I open my eyes again, I realize that I'm standing at the bus station again. Sonia taps on her phone and leans closer to me, showing me the details on her phone. "Look, Amanda, OmniGo says that our bus isn't arriving for another ten more minutes."

Rain had a one night stand with a stranger after she found out about her cheating boyfriend that lasted for three years. The day after, she was instructed by her parents to sign a contract in compensation for her upbringing misfortune to their family. That contract is a marriage certificate. She got married without meeting her husband. Three years later, she was called at the company that she's applying. Not knowing that the boss of this company is her husband and the stranger who's the father of her triplets.

Kiara Tennyson. It has always been her dream to go to the US. After her parent's death, an opportunity presents itself when she gets a chance to go there as an exchange student. She is funny, crazy, very loving, and has read too many books to know that she will find new friends, get into a fight on the first day of school with the queen bee and later teach her a lesson, and maybe find love. Reed Scott. Your typical cliche bad boy. His first love broke his heart causing him to change from loving to becoming cold. What do you think will happen when a bubbly and crazy person comes barging into his life and tries to change his cold demeanour? Why don't you read and find out? Join Kiara and be mistaken for a dog sitter, get into fights, prank the queen bee, fall on your butt in front of your new best friend, prank the whole school, take the bad boy shopping and most importantly find love abroad.

Late one night after getting off work, I was scrolling through my company group chat when a colleague shared a piece of news. The headline was horrifying. "Night-Shift Courier Murdered During Delivery, Police Suspect Robbery." I zoomed in on the crime scene photo that had been partially pixelated, and a chill ran straight down my spine. Lying in a pool of blood, the courier who had been hacked to death was unmistakably me. I had scrolled into news of my own death. Almost at the same time, my delivery app began vibrating violently. "Urgent pickup! Destination: Unit 704 Hawthorne Ridge Apartments, Building 7. Time limit: 15 minutes. Penalty for timeout: Death." As I stared at the notification that read "Pickup failed three times", the searing pain of my brutal death surged through my body. So that was it. I had already died three times. When I forced open the half-closed security door of 704 for the fourth time, a thin delivery envelope lay quietly inside. I tore it open. A photograph slipped out. It was a picture of my dismembered body. The timestamp showed tomorrow at 7:00 a.m. On the back was a single line written in fresh blood: "Next time, remember to pick it up on time." At that moment, the red indicator light on the hallway surveillance camera suddenly went dark. I looked up. From the ventilation opening in the exact same spot, a single eye was staring straight at me. The mole at the corner of that eye was identical to mine.

In a desperate bid to save her ailing mother, Reina Haus enters into a contract with a captivating billionaire CEO. Little does she know, he hides a devilish nature that fuels their forbidden passion, blurring the lines between desire and destruction. Their love becomes a tempestuous whirlwind, filled with secrets, betrayal, and unbridled passion. As Reina fights to break free from the clutches of the alluring devil she's grown to love, the stakes escalate, threatening to tear them apart forever. Will their love triumph over the darkness, or will they be consumed by their own desires?

Zoey Blake swore off athletes the day she caught her hockey player boyfriend cheating with a cheerleader. She's done with games, on and off the ice, and plans to keep her distance from that world for good. But when her new tutoring assignment lands her with four players from her ex’s rival team, staying away gets complicated. They're nothing like she expected, frustrating, funny, and unexpectedly kind. And when they ask her to help with a plan to get back at her ex, she agrees, even if it means pretending to be part of their world again. What starts as a simple favour slowly blurs the lines Zoey worked hard to draw. The more time she spends with them, the harder it becomes to remember why she built those walls in the first place. She promised herself she’d never fall for another hockey player. She never imagined four of them might change her mind.

Meet Emily Collins, the devoted secretary with a knack for mismatched fashion, and Oliver Sterling, the brilliant but enigmatic CEO. Their worlds collide when Oliver, facing an unexpected ultimatum from his grandfather, turns to Emily for an unconventional solution. While Emily dreams of saving a million dollars and bidding goodbye to her corporate life, Oliver's goal is to introduce his secret actress girlfriend to his family. Caught between family expectations and a reluctant girlfriend, Oliver proposes a daring deal to Emily: a six-month contract where she pretends to be his girlfriend. The offer comes with a tempting promise—enough money to fast-track Emily's savings goal. As the two plunge into their fake romance, cue the funny twist—Emily knows every quirk and detail about Oliver, right down to the size of his ring finger, but Oliver doesn't know a thing about Emily. With the lines between reality and pretense blurring, the stage is set for a romantic collision where one is poised to fall in love, and the other is destined to fall even harder.

[WARNING: This story contains mature themes with profanities, hardcore graphical explicit sexual situations, and others. Strongly recommended for 18+ only. Otherwise, read at your own risk.] Jack was still a child when his father abandoned him to Marianne, his lovely and caring stepmother. Through the good and bad times, they only have each other. But what if Jack suddenly admits that Marianne is the only person he wants to be with and love forever? A forbidden love that overflows like magma, so intense and hot that it burns with every touch. How will this kind of love survive in a world full of uncertainty, temptation, and mistakes? What if there are people who constantly try to keep them apart? Jack once told Marianne, "I don't give a damn about anyone. I want you to be mine! And it's fine with me if our love for each other burns me. Just want me and love me until the end, I am more than willing to be burned to death." Can their love last all the way to the end? NOTE: This is an English translation of a Tagalog story with the same title and author. The author wishes to apologize for any errors in vocabulary, spelling, phrases, or other translation issues found in this novel. In the future, this book will be further edited and polished to make it more suitable for English readers. For the time being, please enjoy it and don't forget to leave comments or feedback. Have fun reading! (The Tagalog/Filipino version is also available in this app).

David meet Daniele while graduating from the seminary. He had long secretly admired Danielle, his favourite. Many women tried to entice David and made up amazing stories to keep his attention. Not because everyone likes her, but rather because she is funny, straightforward, gorgeous, and intelligent. Daniele has become everyone's favorite. Daniele has always fared extraordinarily well on tests and in class evaluations. She receives bullying from both her male and female young peers as a result of her decision to forgo makeup in favor of a comedic appearance. Daniele trained as a psychiatrist and a nun. Her superiors support her, and her friends envy her. She has been the target of plotting because she maintains her purity for the Lord while remaining untouched by human behavior and viewpoints. As a born-again Christian believer, Daniele found unforeseen challenges that led her to meet David. However, she has not yet tasted genuine love. She evolved into an emancipated lady and a modernized nun, which affected her siblings. David appeals to Daniele and she falls in love with him for these reasons. Many women claim for David but he usually denied. Daniele learns how to love David with all of her heart. David admitted that Daniele was his fate. Unexpectedly, the marriage minister offers them the quick union he had suggested. It matches David because he already has financial issues and his mother has been diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. As they are ready to go back home, they both decided to have children. They go on a secret trip deciding to have children abroad. Daniele suffered when all of her children disappeared, and David had to be following the laws. She resumes her profession as well as becomes a church worker until her children return safe and sound.  

"“Do you know how to get to the rose garden?” “No, you can’t go there. A monster lives there.” Shaw Hollander is desperate. Broke, unemployed, and determined to help his ailing mother, he falls on the good graces of a wealthy benefactor who is willing to give Shaw a job at his mansion in order to pay off his mother’s debts. Suddenly finding himself surrounded by lavish riches, he has no idea what his duties truly entail until he’s sent to the rose garden and meets the tragically mutilated Isobel. This Beauty and the Beast story holds true to the core of the fable while shaking off the element of fantasy and dragging it into present-day reality. Shaw and Isobel are ready to let you climb into their four-wheel-drive pickup and take a ride with them into their version of happily ever after, but only if you first dare to gaze upon the monster among the roses."