Kiss me 2.1
I used it as currency, as bait, as a means to an end that, in the harsh light of this morning, seems paltry, pathetic.
What was I seeking? To prove I was desirable? To exist through the chaos I sowed? To flee my own emptiness by creating a greater one in someone else?
My hands tremble. I look at these hands that touched Evan with savage fervour, that gripped his shoulders, dug into his back. These same hands that brushed Clara's arm, that made coffee for Maxime, her fiancé, with a loving sister's smile.
I am a monster.
The thought is clear, sharp. It does not provoke revolt. Just a weary, terrible acceptance. It is a fact. An observation.