Really Funny Joke

So there I was, stuck in this dark Victorian mansion for a whole freaking century, thinking I'd never get out. Then, out of nowhere, these two gorgeous girls swoop in and rescue me! I couldn't believe it, and we instantly hit it off. They showed me a whole new world I'd only ever imagined, and I was all about living a normal human life.   But just when I thought things were looking up, this vampire named Vivaldi pops up out of thin air, grinning like a possessed Jack-o'-lantern. I mean, a name like Vivaldi is bound to give you the creeps, right? He claimed I had some ancient first blood running through my veins and demanded that I sign some crazy blood contract with him—the kind of deal that comes with some seriously freaky consequences.   Vivaldi was trying to sell me the idea that this blood contract was his only lifeline, the only way to save his skin from something worse than death. But I wasn't some clueless newborn vamp; I knew better than to just dive into something as serious as a blood contract. Those things come with some heavy consequences, and I wasn't about to sign up for that without a second thought.   The problem was, if I didn't go along with his messed-up plan, he promised to make my friends' lives a living hell—the very people I'd started to care about. I was trapped between a rock and a hard place. If I decided to team up with Vivaldi, I'd be keeping him around, which is far from ideal. But if I refused, my friends and the whole town of Shadowvale would be in serious danger.    It felt like I was caught in this impossible situation, like I was trying to choose between two rotten apples.

Hazel doesn’t like boys, in fact, she stays as far away from them as possible. She wears baggy clothes, doesn’t do makeup and tries her best to go unnoticed. Her plan worked… for a while, until she got the baddest boy in her university hot on her tails. Worst of all? He is her roommate. How will she possibly survive ? Cover by : FatimaZahra970 (Wattpad)

Christmas is the most magical time of the year, right? That may be true for most people but not Julia. Julia has never had an easy life, she has been homeless for as long as she can remember and now she is raising a three-year-old the same way. She wants more for them both but she has no way of changing things, besides she's soon going to have to leave the only place that she's ever called home to keep them both safe. If anyone finds out her secret her world will be blown apart and that's something that she can't allow to happen. Riley has had the best life imaginable. He has loving parents, grandparents and his best friend Joshua has been by his side since he was a young child. He also runs several successful businesses and has everything he wants in life except for one thing... love. He wants someone to love, to cherish but his past still has a tight grip on him and holds a secret that not even he knows about. What will happen when both worlds collide? Can Julia get the Christmas that she has always dreamed of for her and her little girl? Can Riley learn to forget his past so that he can move forward and when Juila's secret is revealed and blows both of their worlds apart, will it bring them together or tear them even further apart and destroy Julia's world, just like she has always feared it would?

Cassandra Johnson is Pixie. Pixie is Cassandra Johnson. She's the same girl who's leading two extremely different lives. Nobody would suspect the school's nerd as Pixie. 'Cause Pixie's a street fighter badass and the nerd does not have a single badass bone in her body. The chances of people discovering this peculiar secret is close to none but of course this is where fate inserts the certified new boy into the equation and makes an exception for him. Warning: heavy flow of profanities ahead. - and tears - or so I've heard.

Zane is a werewolf and his planet was destroyed by vampires. His mother sent him to Earth, the planet of humans, just before their planet was destroyed. Zane was a young werewolf and he didn't know how to survive on his own, in a planet of humans, but then, he found an orphanage and his life changes

Rhoda Schurz is known for being a born-again Christian missionary and she falls in love with Rudolf Wagner, who is a resigned U.S Army officer. They encounter a tragic accident and that gives him pain. Their marriage presents enumerable conflicts. Rhoda overcomes all in the eyes of faith in Jesus Christ. Rudolf is convinced that JESUS healed him and he also follows Christ's teaching with Rhoda, whom he loves.

Sext Buddy: [I’d do anything to fuck you right now.] Alicia: [I want you so bad too…really.] During the summer, Alicia has been sexting with a total stranger in hopes that she’d never meet him. At the beginning of college, her mum tells her that they have a guest. She meets the stranger she was constantly sexting. But then, what happens when the stranger is her cousin?

Rumah tangga yang dibina oleh Maleek dan Puteri sedikit berbeza dengan pasangan suami isteri pada umumnya. Selepas proses akad nikah, mereka masih tidak dibenarkan untuk tinggal bersama. Mengapa? Ada syarat yang Tan Sri Baharudin kenakan kepada anak serta menantunya sebelum mereka dibenarkan duduk serumah. "Kamu berdua, masih tidak dibenarkan tinggal bersama seperti suami isteri kebiasaannya." "But why, daddy?" Puteri memprotes. "Sebab, perkahwinan kamu berdua, masih digantung!" Pelbagai cabaran perlu mereka hadapai dalam tempoh Nikah Gantung ini. Jiwa dewasa yang saling mengingini terpaksa dipendam demi tuntutan syarat yang telah ditetapkan. Mampukah Maleek menahan imannya tatkala melihat isterinya yang semakin menggoda tanpa boleh berbuat apa-apa? Dan berapa lamakah tempoh Nikah Gantung yang Tan Sri tetapkan pada mereka?

“My Lord will be with you shortly. Good luck,” she says before turning to leave. I could swear there was a hint of excitement in her voice. Well, why wouldn’t she be excited? She wasn’t the one about to give her virginity to a man who had barely said three words to her since meeting. **** After losing her father at the age of 11, Thelma is told that her father died in a factory accident. When she turns 21. weird things start happening around her and to her. Something is after her life...she has no idea what it is or why. The only person who can protect her is the Hybrid Alpha, Kyle Logan, rumored to be just as crazy as he is sexy...however, he has his own motivations to assist her. He needs her as much as she needs him. Can they come together to help each other despite their differences since it is after all a matter of life or death...and perhaps love.

She was looking for her equal. All the other men couldn't compare to Jareth Steele, CEO of Steele Logistics. Jerrica Betton, CEO of Betton Enterprises, has met her match.