Sarcasm Stories Novels & Stories

Liam said with grin “It most certainly is,” Bruce said with a frown. “You didn’t even give the joke a chance,” Garth said. “A joke that involves bestiality doesn’t deserve a chance,” Bruce said haughtily. “Where did you hear these jokes? You guys have never been joke tellers.” “That hotter than smoke brunette in the red dress,” Garth answered bluntly. “She’s been telling all kinds of jokes for the past forty minutes to various people.” “Like who?” Bruce asked with concern.

"Why of course." Sara smiled, sitting up from her position on the sofa. "Thank you for being so courteous and thoughtful... And not just throwing me around and jamming your cock into me without warning." She dialed up her sarcasm to eleven as she moved some pillows around. "Only a real 'dick' of a brother would do that..." Max rolled his eyes as he prepared to climb onto the sofa, stopping only for a moment to push his side back and orientate her more forward.

“No, no, Garfield, I wasn’t asking about any of those things. Trust me, the last thing I would question you about is the multiplying rituals-” Before he can finish the sentence, I see my chance and you bet your ass - I take it. I cut him off and spoke over him with the widest shit-eating grin across my lips. “You see, the story about stork is true propaganda and lies. The truth is that a boy meets a girl, they fall in love, and they fuck like rabbits on crack.” Just to make it worse, I raise one finger and fake an ‘o’ shape with my fingers on my other hand to give him a demonstration. “So this stick, we call it a dick, goes into this hole and then, you pray your hips won’t give out and you j

The room went dead quiet when I said I would take the prize, but that quiet did not last. A second later, laughter thundered through the air. Lily Smith was the loudest, doubling over with tears streaming from her eyes. "How else could she be the top seller?" she cackled. "A woman like her has to have skin as thick as a rhino." I ignored her snide comments and kept my cool. "Just to be clear," I said, "since the company so generously 'rewarded' me with bathroom duty, that's all I'll be doing for the next three days. Everything else is off my plate."

A message bubble lit up under his name, cheerful and oblivious. Just another one of his dry, stupid jokes—something about his dinner being so terrible he was convinced the restaurant was trying to assassinate him with undercooked chicken. He'd probably attached one of those ridiculous GIFs he was always finding, something animated and silly that was meant to make me laugh.

I couldn't tell whether she was being sarcastic or not. I could hardly live with this lie. I'd never take it that far. "Okay, I'll just walk up to him and be like, 'Hey, I wasn't pregnant before, but now I'm ready to have your baby.'" I answered sarcastically. "Fine, enjoy unemployment for the rest of your life." She answered. "I wonder if you were born with a warning label that read, 'attracted to trouble.'" Katy joked. "If someone finds you murdered on the side of the road, no one should ask why," I answered.

“Oh you like that? Well I also proposed to her the day I met her and she said no!” I groaned and covered my face, thinking about how embarrassing that was. “Oh, and then I gave her my virginity only to find out days later that she was sleeping with my best friend. So I went to go kill her ex and instead she almost died. Now she barely even likes me.” How do the Griffons find these sad stories so funny? I mean sure there’s some humor to it, but I consider it ‘you had to be there’ humor. “Thank you, I’ll be here a few more hours hopefully!” Hunter grinned and waved.

I said and turned back to what I was doing. "I could help you with things you might need ,I have been here way longer than anyone ," he said . "Great so tell me the history ," I said sarcastically and he scoffed. "I am just saying you might need my help, that's all ,I turned abruptly and twisted my foot to the wrong side making me lose balance ,but Mr idiot was able to save me from falling. Great ,note the sarcasm. "Get your dirty hand off me ," I said , breaking free from his stupid embrace.

MELISA A fool, that's what I am. Surprise I’m scolding myself? Well… only a fool will drink over a heartless relationship. I just had a break up with my boyfriend of 2 years after walking in on him fucking his best friend and you know what is worse? —He is a fucking male!

she said sarcastically, and I just gave a nervous laugh. “Is this seat taken?” I heard someone ask the moment the call ended. “Enjoy,” I said, gesturing with my hands. I was planning to leave once Sarah showed up. Anyway. For now, let's just enjoy ourselves. “I have a story to tell you.” “Me?” The guy asked. “Of course, is there any other person here besides you?” “Okay? Let's hear it,” he sounded amused, but I didn't mind. “If you had two birds, one is gorgeous and brings you gold and the other is just plain looking, which would you choose?”