Sarcasm Stories Novels & Stories

Since I've already fucked her many times, there is nothing new between us, so I don't understand why she still acts so shy around me. No matter how long we talk, I never get tired of hearing her hilarious stories. Sara is different from other women in that she piques my interest beyond sex. She has a good sense of humor. Each time I read one of her written chapters, I found myself drawn to her more. How she developed such realistic characters for her book is beyond me. While we were on the phone, I was reading her email. I read her story and laughed uncontrollably. She's never written a sex-related chapter this hilarious before.

He made me laugh, a genuine, bubbling sound that felt good after the fear. “Your turn,” he challenged, when he finished. “Tell me a joke. Something to keep the darkness at bay.” I thought for a moment. “Okay, okay… What do you call a fake noodle?” He raised an eyebrow, a slight smile playing on his lips. “What?” “An impasta!” I delivered the punchline with a flourish, and he actually laughed, a deep, booming sound that warmed the room. “Alright, alright, that was a good one, for a rookie,” he teased. “My turn. Why did the scarecrow win an award?”

"How many times do I have to tell you, they're your parents? Why won't you even see if it's true?" "Because you're a compulsive liar. Why should I trust you? For all I know, this is another scheme of yours, so you can scam my money out of me!" I tossed the notice of critical illness in her face. "Then, look at this closely. Tell me, what's the name that's written on it?" She didn't even look. The woman stepped on it and slapped me. "What an actor. You came in with props. If you have that much time, learn from Zack. If you please me, I'll give you any money you want. You made the wrong move."

They’ll never hurt him—or anyone else—again. For now, though, he’s here with me, laughing as he shares some embarrassing story about the first woman he tried to date when he came home. Apparently, he fell asleep in the middle of a movie because he was so bored. The way he tells it, I can’t help but laugh, and I retaliate by sharing one of my own cringe-worthy dating disasters. We exchange stories, one failure after another—awkward moments, embarrassing dates, and epic disasters. The conversation flows easily, and for the first time in what feels like forever, it feels right. Perfect, even.

Well, I fucking opened myself up to that one. “As a solution to a problem I in part caused,” I say emotionlessly. “I’m going to assume by the vague answer, you don’t wish to discuss it.” “You’re very astute for a human,” I commend her. Her face slips into an emotionless mask, “Yes, we mere mortals are quite astute. We’ve also mastered fire and invented the wheel,” she says sarcastically. “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit you know.” “At least one of us has some,” she says, taking another sip of her drink.

His eyes were bristling with anger while he said this because he couldn’t tolerate Caroline’s rude behavior. “You have time to decide till tomorrow! And if your answer is NO then you can tell me RIGHT NOW!” “I never said my answer is NO. I’ll think and tell by tomorrow.” Caroline rushed out of the office with attitude as she yelled at my dad. ***** “What a dumb human! Money cant buy happiness??? Money can buy anything! And if you have money then why do you need happiness anyways. These emotions/feelings are such a waste of time!” Caroline mumbled in anger in her office.

I nodded. "And for Mr. Sarman, make sure the data is accurate this time. I don't want to be embarrassed because of it," she joked. But I knew the type of jokes Krystal made was actually biting sarcasm. There's no way Mr. Sarman would be held up that long if his report was in order. I was sure something was wrong.

Grabbing my phone, I frowned when I saw a text from the devil itself, "CconviNCceee mnhy daaasd tob lkjrseasve." I believe that means Convince my dad to leave. Wow, he's good in typing messages without looking at it properly. SARCASM. I smiled, then said out loud, "What if I don't?" He smirked while Tan looked confused, "What if you don't?" Tan asked. Vibrate. CFRRAXZZXDFYYHGDAATTER. Crazy Hater. Fine.

I managed to ask. "I saw you at the club on the day of the party, I noticed you didn't want a dance with him. I'm in love with you Jasmine." I burst out laughing, in fact, I was angry with him. "You can attempt better jokes, I want to laugh out my intestines, go on." "I beg your pardon?" "You know, these fables are now very common and the good thing is, I have learned not to fall for them," I smiled at him to hurt him.

Oh gosh if I told any of them the whole world would know that there is a surprise wedding next Wednesday and then the bride would know which can't happen. I like this me acting like I'm talking about a patient to another doctor who needs advice and then give weird, crazy answers. Imagine me saying over the phone to another 'doctor' "no the patient loves chocolate cake so you must give them the cake they will feel better." That statement had her telling me that "Bestie no disrespect but I don't think you know how to treat a sick patient cause no doctor has ever prescribed cake for any one. I also think you need to go back to medical school" She said with all her seriousness. I had to hold bac