Seriously Funny Jokes

“Nice to meet you, Raine,” I said with a forced smile. As soon as she turned her back, I muttered under my breath, “Bitch.” I wasn’t lying—she was practically spilling out of that dress. Seriously? That’s Aiden’s type now? I turned to Arden and whispered, “Babe, I need to use the restroom.” He nodded, and I made my way across the hallway. Unfortunately, the restroom was just past the entertainment room—where Aiden and Raine were glued to each other. Ugh, just my luck. I didn’t even look their way, but from the corner of my eye, I could see them. Aiden had his arm around her, and—what the hell?—his hand was inside her dress. Inside. What a maniac! Doesn’t he care that our parents could walk in? And Raine… really? Already letting him feel her up like that? Where’s her shame? I rushed to the restroom and splashed cold water on my face, trying to wash the frustration off. But the moment I looked up, I froze. Aiden was in the doorway. I turned to leave, but he blocked me and pushed me back inside. “What now?” I snapped, slapping his chest. “Can’t you just leave me alone?” My voice trembled, barely above a whisper. Someone could hear us. “Move! I said I’m leaving!” But Aiden didn’t budge. Instead, he grabbed my wrists and spun me around. My back hit the door with a soft thud, and suddenly, his body was pressed against mine. “Aiden, stop it! What are you doing?” I hissed, but he didn’t answer. He just smirked, lowered his head, and crushed his lips against mine. Damn it… not again.

When I have a pen in my hand and paper before me, I think I want to write something to cast every despair in my pathetic life away. I have a figure of a depressed guy whose fate is too much: saving the world. He is not stupid nor even smart, he is not ugly nor even good looking. He is just a nijikon (A person who loves an anime character more than the real one) like me. He once thought to give up on life, but an event changes his life. I'm sure you guys start guessing how the story goes, but too bad, this one is different than the others.

"You are nothing but a Sperm Donor." "But I am your Sperm Donor." After helping deliver dozens of babies into the world, midwife Anna Johnson is longing for her child. Since her luck has always proven itself unuseful in bed, she turns to sperm donation as one last futile attempt to have a child. The donor she chooses from the catalog seems to be the perfect match - cute, college-educated, creamy, topped with a pair of the most mesmerizing brown eyes she's ever seen. Little does Anna know that the man behind the file is entirely unaware of this whole ordeal, as a cause of a drunken dare. When Daniel Williams finds out about this, things are bound to go down. WATTPAD BEINGZANYAROSS

Juliet is a confident curvy girl with a sharp tongue and a sassy fun loving attitude who runs a pizza shop with her sister. Jude is a frontman in a rock band with a hard edge but boyish good looks and a retro style. The two couldn't be more different, and from opposite worlds. A chance encounter brings them together for one explosive night neither will soon forget. Jude is forced to take a hard look at his life and question where he wants it to go while trying to decide on the future of his band. Follow along in this cute short story of how love comes in all forms. This is a simple and straight-forward easy to read feel good series about everyday people finding love in the most unsuspecting of places! We all have our issues, insecurities but can we open up and allow ourselves to be vulnerable to the right person? **This is a five part series that follows a hard rock band called Feisty and the five men who are its trail blazers, taking the world by storm while looking for love. Love finds them in some of the most unlikely places, but for one it’s been under his nose all along. A new book will come out about every six weeks until they are complete, enjoy!** This is a five part mini-series and the stories continue in order but can be read as individual stand-alone books. This part one, Judes story.

In the fifth year of my mating to Alpha Tom, his childhood sweetheart, Becky Bell, was splashed across every tabloid in the territory. Pregnant. Unmated. And accused of shattering another couple’s bond. The rumors hit like a rogue’s ambush. But it was his reaction that truly gutted me. “Becky’s father once saved me, she has no pack, no family left. Everything she’s accomplished… she clawed her way to it. Alone.” My fingers clenched tighter around the pregnancy test tucked away in my purse. “And the only way to protect her now,” he continued, not even looking me in the eye, “is for me to marry her. To claim the pup as mine.” “And what about me?” I asked, barely more than a whisper. My voice cracked. The Sunfire Pack and the Golden Fang Pack—my pack—had been allies for over a century. “How do I explain this sudScott rejection to my parents? To my pack? To the elders? They know we're mate bond.” Alpha Tom inhaled sharply. “Just tell them it was always a business arrangement. That there was no real love between us.” My wolf bared her teeth at that. He had the audacity to look away. “Once the media frenzy dies down, I’ll come for you. I’ll bring you back to Sunfire Pack and give you the grand wedding you deserve.” I stared at him. This Alpha—was seriously telling me he was going to marry another she-wolf, claim her pup, let me get torn apart by pack gossip and speculation, and then what? he's offering me his marriage like it’s some kind of charity? My fingers twitched, aching to throw the pregnancy test at him. But I didn’t. I laughed. For three years, I had been the one he discarded—over and over. And now, even my marriage was to be sacrificed for her sake. It hit me then, sharp and cold: It's time for me to leave him

Tara isn't your everyday beauty shit she wasn't a size 0 runway model, she was curvey thick and flawless nonetheless. It took her years to see that in herself after going through the ups and downs of being tossed through the foster system she had all but lost her faith in herself. This is why she chooses to become an advocate for foster kids like her. When she first launched her UFCP program she had only one private supporter. Now here she was at a huge charity banquet representing her program publicly and the program would now be recognized nationally. It was like a dream come true especially when she runs into the investor who happens to be an old friend from the foster system who was in the same house as her. Giovanni Berlusconi, he had glowed up since she last saw him all those years ago and he apparently felt the same about her. The only problem was he was a mafia king pin and Tara might have known much about the mob, but she sure as hell knew she wanted no parts of it. Especially after two of her colleagues end up dead in a mysterious car crash after questioning Gio's family connections to the recent spike in missing persons cases in the city. Tara had tried to blow him off politely but Gio wasn't having it. Stopping by her office unannounced. Tara was desperate to avoid the mob boss at all cost that is until she accidentally stumbles on to a private family meeting and witnesses him killing someone. Now she has only two choices marry the very man she fears or die.

On my wedding day, the first love of my boyfriend appeared and declared she wanted my place at the altar. Sobbing theatrically, she pleaded, "Claire, I’m seriously ill. You have your whole life to be with Evan. Just let me have this wedding." And my boyfriend backed her up without hesitation. "Claire, you’re already pregnant with my child, and we’ve signed the marriage papers. You’ve got everything you need. This wedding? It doesn’t matter." The guests gawked, while I stood there as the punchline of their jokes. But instead of causing a scene, I kept my composure. That same day, I booked an abortion and looked his first love straight in the eye with a smile. "Sure, take the wedding, and take him too. He’s all yours."

She is a free spirit, trapped in a bird cage of death, danger and despair. Little Alessa has always known one thing above all- she was born to be the perfect Principessa of the Cosa Nostra, the Italian Mafia. She was urged to smile when asked to, laugh even when the jokes were anything but funny, charming to all who were allies. She was perfection incarnate...well, that's what they think. They know nothing of her wild abandon, of her plans to be anything but the perfect princess, royalty of a world dredged so deep in blood, she choked on it. Her plans to run were absolute...well, until HE came along. The mysterious Pakan-a Don like her father- shielded by the shadows that he ruled from. He was the anomaly that she least expected. He destroyed her plans and she hated him for it. So why then does her heart beat so fast when he is near? Why is he the one she thinks about before she sleeps? Why does she so long to see him when she's sad? She wanted the freedom, the life beyond the shadows and explore the world. But Emerald colored eyes, cocky smirks, rough hands, cigarettes and darkness were starting to look a little more appealing...

"Work Hard, Play Hard" Archie is never without a beautiful woman or a glass of good scotch in his hand, which drives his ultra-wealthy, conservative parents to distraction. To force him to take life more seriously, his father threatens to name his cousin the CEO of the company Archie helped build from the ground up if he doesn't marry a girl of their choosing. To appease his parents, Archie proposes to Leticia and gives her the family heirloom ring. Archie's best friend Josh thinks he's making a big mistake and invites him for a week's holiday in Ibiza, telling him it's a stag party. With his boyfriend Charlie, Josh aims to convince Archie to face his true self and his long-buried truth. Archie initially clashes with the outgoing, gregarious Charlie, but soon finds himself drawn to him as Charlie returns the attraction, pushing Archie to explore this connection even at the risk of losing Josh's friendship. But Archie's return to the real world makes him realize that his love for Charlie could cost him the CEO position and the love of his parents. Forced to choose between a chance at true love and familial loyalty, Archie makes the ultimate decision, but either one will destroy lives and hearts.

"Why did you do this? Answer me!" Josh an easygoing guy who was immune to love because of how his father was being treated by his mother, decided not to fall for any woman. But, fate had its own cruel way of making him find love. "I don't care Josh, no matter what, i'm not like all women. I will still wait for you because i love you." Sabrina couldn't stop crying. Sabrina who fell in love with Josh after a crazy night in her car, meeting him for the first time couldn't stop loving him no matter how much red lights he showed about women. Will she succeed in breaking fully breaking down all the walls, he had already built, because of his past? Josh gritted his teeth in anger. "Why?...." Find out how Josh will have his revenge on the woman who took his life from him. His father. A story about betrayal, and a quest to win your lover's heart.