Seriously Funny Jokes

“You dare to think of another man in my presence?” The Alpha growled with a burning desire in his eyes. He glowered at Lavinia whose hands were tied. “What does that man have that I don’t? That filthy vampire, you think he’s going to save you?” His hands ran through her bare skin, sending shivers to her spine. “Please, leave me alone,” Lavinia begged in desperation. Tears welled up in her eyes. “Then be mine, Lavinia.” He leaned closer to her. His breath fanned her face. “I’ll make you the happiest woman alive.” Lavinia shook her head. She pursed her lips while watching the man in front of her. He may be a great man with power but her heart longed for someone else. “No. You’re not him… You’re not Sebastian.” "We had an unspoken deal: He gave me warmth, colors, and lies. In return, he asked for my blood when he's thirsty, my body when he's cold and my heart when he's bored. The funny part is, I still think it's quite a bargain." - Lavinia de Llava

Book two of the Alpha's Phoenix mate! Melissa is a simple illiterate human village girl who dreams of going to school and becoming an architectural designer but her dreams get shattered when she is forced to marry a man five times her age. She finds a way to get out of the marriage and with the help of Kaira, goes to a different country where she meets Dean. Dean is the alpha of Black phantom pack who's been waiting to find his mate but after finally finding her, he gets shattered when he realises that she not only is an innocent little girl but also a human who isn't interested in love

Kayla is a smart, focused, top-mark student in her last two senior years of high school in a private facility for rich kids in Florida. All she wants is to get accepted to Harvard and graduate with top marks to follow the career she has set for herself. Her entire life is about becoming an independent and successful vet. She has micro-managed it and planned it to the tiniest detail. Leaving no room for a social life or living her teen years like her peers. This year has had its ups and downs, with her stepbrother of almost ten years coming to live under the same roof after being raised apart after their parents married. The chaos and drama his appearance has brought since he despises not only his father but Kayla's mother too, has made home tense. He's a rude, defiant, and arrogant pain in her ass who is hellbent on causing trouble and listens to no one. Dane is the polar opposite in every way - Vain, oversexed, a playboy who takes nothing seriously except booze, girls, and his motorbike while he rebels in every way against his father for ripping apart his family. Looking like a teen idol, acting like someone who doesn't need to take accountability for anything in his life, Kayla honestly cannot stand him. She sees a loser who will live on daddy's money and drink away his youth while sleeping with every girl in the county. At 17, they have known one another most of their lives and never had any kind of friendly relationship. They have always been classmates but never friends and definitely not siblings. - but all that is about to change.

Alpha Kane imprisons Amy in his dungeon to soften her up for questioning after her brother, Jake, abducts his sister, Lisa. But she proves stubborn and he enslaves her, hoping this will make her more compliant. Kane is attracted to the dark-haired she-wolf from a rival pack, recently absorbed by his own, even though he has found his Luna and mate, Selene. But Amy is not what she seems, and the Alpha also has a hidden agenda. Working together to right a centuries old wrong, the pair begin to question everything they have been taught to believe. Will pack hierarchy ever be the same again?

Pinagtangkaang patayin ni Griff ang kanyang asawang si Althea upang masolo nito ang kompanya ng babae at makasama na nito ang childhood sweetheart nito na si Britney. Ngunit nang araw na itapon sa bangin ni Griff ang bangkay ni Althea ay sakto namang nagmamanman ang mafia boss na si Rigor at nasaksihan niya ang mga pangyayari. Sinagip ni Rigor si Althea at binigyan ng bagong mukha na kawangis sa mukha ng kanyang yumaong asawa na si Sophia. Subalit habang tumatagal ay may kakaiba na silang nararamdaman para sa isa't-isa. Akala ni Althea ay happy ending na ang kanyang love story sa piling ni Rigor. Hindi niya akalaing may darating palang kontrabida. Si Sophia, ang original na nagmamay-ari ng puso ni Rigor. At ang original na nagmamay-ari ng kanyang hiram na mukha. Talaga bang malas siya pagdating sa pag-ibig? At paano nangyaring nabuhay ang matagal ng patay?

Isang simpleng probinsyana lamang si Anna Marie Castillo, namumuhay sa isang simpleng lugar, simpleng probinsiya. Pero kahit ganoon, masaya siya sa buhay na mayroon siya kasama ang kaniyang pamilya. Mahirap lang sila at trabahador lang ng pamilya Bautista ang kanyang ama, samantalang ang kanyang ina naman ay nag-e-extra lamang. Ang tahimik niyang buhay sa probinsiya ay magugulo sa pagdating ng anak ng mga Bautista na si Kevyn, isang mayabang at antipatikong lalaki. Ano kaya ang kahihinatnan nila kung sa unang pagtatagpo pa lang nila ay hindi na naging maganda iyon? Ano kayang gagawin niya kapag nalaman niyang siya ang magbabantay sa binata habang nasa probinsya ito? Babalik pa kaya ang katahimikan niya sa probinsiya o lalo lang iyong gugulo?

Willa has been running for as long as she could remember along side her twin brother, West and her mother. Their Mother has always told them that a someone is after them. Life was difficult since their mother trained them to be ready for anything, even her death. Two years after their mom died, the twins luck has finally run out and they are captured but they are shocked to discover that it's their own father and brothers they've been running from. Now reunited, will the twins finally find happiness and family or will they end up being destroyed by their family's dark secret? With everyone hiding secrets, what is the truth? What is safe? The twins have only ever believed in their motto, Chaos not cash, maim not murder and each other. Can they trust anyone else and more importantly, should they?

"Remember the most important rule, don't get caught." *** I try to keep my expression neutral and give nothing away in my eyes, Eli is a smart man, smarter than he lets on and will know if something is different about me, "Everyone change, Eli, you definitely aren't the man you were when we first met, but the question is if the change is for the better or the worse." His hand reaches over the table and take mine in the gloves and though there is a barrier between our hands his touch is felt and the reaction sent to the rest of my body. "I love you, Anna and that's not going to change, but I have to admit that I like this side of you more. However, I am contented with whatever I get as long as I get to have you." These words are the words any woman wants to hear their man tell them and it is almost perfect to my ears... almost because I am not Anna...

The night of my first shift at eighteen, my two older brothers brought home a twelve-year-old orphaned Omega. My alpha brother seized the rare healing herb I'd spent all my savings on—herbs meant to ease my first transformation—and gave them to her instead. "You're strong enough," he growled. "You don't need such precious herbs." My beta brother snarled with fury, pointing toward the door. "Get out! Don't come back!" I said nothing more, just grabbed my packed bag and left. They assumed I was merely throwing a tantrum, that I'd return in a few days. My brothers, finally free of my presence, took the orphan girl on an international vacation to the Caribbean islands I'd always dreamed of visiting. Many days later, when they returned to the pack, they were shocked to discover I'd accepted an offer from the neighboring pack's Head Healer. The position required fifteen years of isolated herbal research. I could never return home. That night, they fell apart.

TRIGGER WARNING!! DARK ROMANCE Sexual content, Slavery, 18+, Violence, and Abusive content. Dark Romance, read at your own risk Rechel runs away with her family from her pack because of her bully, Damon Logan, the Alpha's son. but she doesn't know, he is so obsessed with her and is searching for her everywhere. What happens, when they finally meet and find out that they are mates? ------------ “Tsk, tsk, tsk” He shook his head tsking, staring into my eyes as he searched for an answer in mine. Then he replied in his dark dangerous voice “My Little cutie, did you seriously think that I am willing to let you go after 5 long years?!”.  My eyes grow wider at his words. How…? How come he still remembers me after all these years? I am not the only one who he bullied.  “What’s with that look? Did you actually think that I could let you go, after everything that happened between us?” he asked as if I was joking.  He raised his hand, and gently stroked my face a few times before grabbing it, pulling me a little closer to him, leading my lips to almost touch his while he whispered in his sweet voice "When you disappeared, I promised myself to find you and give you the hell for disobeying your master, and now, I got you as a mate, do you think that I will let you go? No, if you think I will, then you must be dreaming" giving me chills.  Am I really going back into that hell after all the things I did to get out of it? NO!