Sex Joke Novels & Stories

I took the Whiskey down, head spinning now, room tilting a bit, as the laughter was echoing loud. Ryker on Kael, "Dare, ask Lange a mate question." Kael shook his head, "Nah, truth instead for me," but Ryker pushed, "Wuss, drink then." Kael sipped, muttering, "You guys are obsessed." Now it was my turn to question Jaxon, "Truth, why so many gay jokes?" He laughed, " 'Cause it's funny, and maybe I'm bi-curious, who knows?" Winking at me, but this stupid soso was tugging playfully she was so happy one of her mates just winked at her, and there was me snapping sarcastic, "Yeah, keep it in your pants, perv." Laughter exploded, but the buzz grew, my words slurring a tad, my wolf was already hazy

"Yeah, of course he's here." "Alright, so I've been thinking about this all week, Australia," Julie said. "How many Aussie's does it take to screw a fuckboy?" "As many as want to hop on his dick," Gemma said. "Are you trying to kink shame us or something?" "What? No," Julie said. "That's not- It takes-" "Hey, babe," Sabrina said loudly, cutting Julie off. "You want to tell her about how we both sucked our boyfriend's cock earlier, or should I?"

He told me that his age was 3333 and I giggled it off thinking he was just trying to make me feel better. Had it been true all along? “H– how?” Alexander pointed to my stomach. “I poured my seed on you, remember?” He smirked despite still pinning me down with his cold eyes. “Seed?” “My semen.” Heat rose to my cheeks instantly. But before I could make sense of the word, I heard the other guys snorted. I whipped my face to see them all putting on sour faces. They seemed not to like the fact that I had sex with Alexander.

I asked, struck by an idea. "Either would probably be fine by me. I seem to enjoy both equally. I loved having sex with you last night, sir, but I loved being with Rose too. I didn't even mind Edward and Regina except for Ron suffering her invective and insults. For me, sex is sex and I'm not fussy about who I have it with." "Thereby doubling your chances for a date on Saturday night." "What, sir?" Reneé asked. "It's an old joke. Being bisexual doubles your chances of a date on Saturday night."

At the moment he came, he shouted her name as he spilled thick, hot semen all over his stomach and chest. Soon he'd go take a shower, but for just a moment he lay back against the pillows to catch his breath. "That's what you're asking for, Evie. Sex isn't sweet and romantic, it's hot, sweaty and messy, but oh so much fun. Be very sure it's what you truly want."

She was tired of going around in circles, she was just going to lay it all down for him and whatever happens, it happens. “I-ughmm..” “Don’t get shy on me now, tell me everything.” Alicia smiled a little, shifting on his lap, her eyes briefly snapping to his crotch area and she looked away. “I want us to sext sometimes and I want to have phone sex with you.” Alicia watched him nod, she wasn’t sure if he was nodding because he was okay with stuff like that or if he was genuinely freaking out but pretending to be cool. “Even though you don’t want sex right now, I wanna try other stuff too.”

"Okay sweetie," Sofia said. "I'll see you tomorrow night." She ended the call and leaned against the counter. "Hey," she said, smiling. "Mind if I join you?" Somewhat relieved, Lisa said "sure." Whatever was bugging Sofia must have passed. She poured a glass of wine for herself after Lisa offered it. Sofia sat next to Lisa and helped herself to some popcorn. The episode of Sex & The City involved a running joke about semen, particularly from one of Samantha's boyfriends. Both girls laughed at the show's jokes and one-liners.

I kissed him and trailed my fingers over his arms as I felt him inside me. I ran my fingers through his hair as I could see him finishing. He moaned out a weird noise as his head fell into my neck. He breathed heavily on top of me and I started to laugh. "Why...are...you...laughing?" He asked while panting. "I just had sex on the floor of my office" "It was fucking great" he said as he picked up his head and smiled at me. I smiled and kissed him "felt even better when pregnant" He rolled his eyes "this isn't fair, first we get circumcised and then we can't even get pregnant to experience great sex! This is sexism"

Only he could make me feel like this. “You really like that?” Jack pushed his fingers in deeper, making my body squirm with pleasure. Shit. I couldn’t even imagine what it would be like if we actually had sex. I was already going insane just from his fingers—who knows what would happen if we went further. “Yes! Yes, Jack!” I moaned loudly. There was no one else in the apartment—Jack lived here alone. I could scream as loudly as I wanted without worrying about anyone hearing me. “Shit, you’re so beautiful,” Jack whispered as he watched me cup my own breasts, trying to amplify the pleasure coursing through my body.

But Ram was quick, and instead of letting her go, he tightened his grip on her even more. Lexie almost died of embarrassment after hearing his words. "She’s Lexie, my young wife." "She is young indeed, young and pretty," someone else responded. "Well, we could use young and pretty for good sex, couldn’t we?" Ram joked, causing the foolish men around them to laugh. Lexie wished the ground would open up and swallow her whole as she shrank in shame. More of these foul jokes from him—she knew she wouldn’t be able to take it anymore. She forced a smile and pretended to laugh along, even though she felt like she was slowly breaking apart.