Sex Joke Novels & Stories

he said, looking at the wall in front of him. "You mean to tell me that you haven’t had any women? Not even the one staring intently at you right now?" I said pointing at a blonde staring down the hall. Axel turned and looked at her, "That? That’s nobody, just hobbies." "I could say the same, or I can’t and you can?" I asked with a raised eyebrow "That would be sexism". "I would never dare," he said, laughing. I laughed with him too, feeling my heart galloping through my chest while he and I were locked in our bubble.

"What about you? What do you do for fun?" "Sex," I blurt out. "Lots of sex. Just like you." He snorts in surprise. "What?" I don't need a mirror to know my face is as red as a tomato. "I was joking." He raises his eyebrows and tilts his head back, looking down his straight nose at me. "So, you don't have sex?" "Well, I mean, yes," I say, the heat from my face moving down my neck and chest. "But not in the way it sounded. The way you said it. Not with you—or, not in the same way."

"Hey. I know you see me as little sis, but I am a woman." "You're 18, you're still a girl." "But at 20 you think you're a man?" she scoffed. "Josie, I don't want to get into this. But no, it's not like Pornhub. I'm not having sex with her, it's just sexy poses and maybe some suggestive shots." "Suggesting what?" "Sex, okay? You know like something softcore. Positions, but you know, clothes on." "You said topless, and who are they being suggestive with? You have a guy coming too?"

“My ex used to talk so dirty when I fúcked her like that. Told me she felt like a total slut. Drove me fúcking crazy.” I let out a shaky breath. “I don’t know what was in that weed, man, but I’m so horny I could get off just talking like this.” He slapped my thigh. “Dude, same. This isn’t weird, right?” “No, just... guys talking about sex.” Even I didn’t believe myself. We lit another joint and sank deeper into the floor. The p**n kept playing. “Holy shít. I'm so horny right now,” I laughed. My voice cracked with tension.

Sean's brow arched, and suddenly he felt presence. Sean turned and all he saw were plenty of ladies coming towards him, he turned to the side, it was the same thing, and from the front too, it was the same. “Master, please have fun with me! Little XXX is feeling hot.” Several lewd voices sounded with their owner approaching Sean like an insect seeing a sugar. What made it annoying was that there were no girls. Real Crazy! Yes, they were all muscular men dressed like girls, which caused Sean to have goosebumps.

I like this plan and knowing how much of a party girl Leila is I’m sure she won’t say no to a girly night out with her two most favorite women. * * * Jake wasn’t kidding when he said he wanted to try video sex! However, what we’ve ended up doing is laughing a whole lot on a Skype call, while I sit in my underwear and he lies in a hotel bed with a sexy naked torso making me ache. Sexy turned to funny and before we know it, he has me crying tears of laughter. I forget sometimes that he can be quick witted and sharp, his sense of humor is devastating; I can’t remember ever laughing as much as this ever in my life and my muscles ache with the effort.

I knew that conversation would come back to haunt me, but I didn't expect that time to be right fucking now. "It was a joke, Drea." "Yeah, right." She snorted. "Do you want our help or not?" Well, if she was offering, I might as well ask... "What's so great about sex?" I squeaked, keeping my gaze heavenward so I didn't have to meet any of their stares. "Sorry. I didn't quite catch that," she gloated, laughter singeing her words. "I said, what'ssogreataboutsex?" I rushed out, squeezing my eyes shut.

Jack left the room with a knowing smile on his face. ************************************************************ Squeals erupted from the small bedroom as Sean walked through with a wrinkled up nose and a disgusted look on his face. “Smells like sex in here. Ew.” He tiptoed into the room full of girls and noticed the empty wine bottle. “Having some fun up here, I see.”

“Don’t ever make me talk to that bastard again.” Nathan exhaled, pinching his nasal bridge. After a while, a coquettish smile burned on his lips. “Or should I try and see if I can get it up, I do give the best blowjob.” I flinched. Once in a while, Nathan made sex jokes. But nowadays it had become more frequent. “I’m not in the mood for sex jokes tonight.” He waved his hand. “Just kidding. You’re like a brother to me. You and I fucking would practically be incest.”