Sexy Jokes

"I know I'm not the type of girl that you usually go out with. I'm not sexy, I'm not attractive and I'm no fun. I'm plain and boring with no charm at all. The only thing good about me is probably my brain, which everyone finds boring. But I must ask you this..." I took a deep breath and gathered

They say society looks down on divorced women, especially those who are no longer “beautiful” in its eyes but Amara doesn’t care. After ten years of being the perfect wife, enduring whispers about her looks, the cruel jokes about her weight, and the constant reminders from her husband that she’s “not beautiful enough,” she’s done. Her husband not only cheats on her… he moves his pregnant mistress into their marital home and flaunts her like a prize. When Amara asks for a divorce, he vows to destroy her. Promising to make her life so miserable she’ll come crawling back. But he’s wrong because Amara would rather die than return to him. In her search for a way out, she crosses paths with Lucian Rostova. He's dangerous. Ruthless and filthy rich. Lucian offers her a deal: he’ll help her ruin her ex-husband and his mistress if she agrees to marry him for one year. With her back against the wall, Amara says yes. But deals with the devil always come with a price. Will Lucian truly protect her like he promises… or will he crush her and leave her bleeding out in the cold?

Everybody is different. May it be with the way you look, your sexual orientation or your beliefs and culture. Tori Kingstein has always thought of herself as someone who’s different. She never liked boys. Yes, she's gay. Tori then was sent to her mum’s old school, an all-girls boarding school in hopes of her not getting herself a boyfriend at a young age. But jokes on her parents, cause she actually swings the other way around. And little did she know that entering Whistler High School for Girls would put her on a mission with other girls, like her who aren’t white, to end the discrimination, inequality, too much use of white privileges and the use of wealth and power to stay on top by some students, especially by the school's student council officers. After knowing this, Tori is set on finishing her mum's past role in this group—and that is to destroy the unfair treatment of the school and the student council to students who what they call “aren’t white and as rich as them”, but Tori has a secret. It’s just that... She might have a tiny bit of crush on the student council's president who's no other than Amelia Harriet Williams. What could go wrong, right?

The prophecy has been told. A Tribrid will be born to slaught*er every people who oppose with its rule. She will be the queen of all, and every person who will go against her will not only lost his life, but will also burn his soul. Every races was threatened, thus, they made one cruel rule: No Tribrid shall be born. However, few years later, an omega from Shadow pack made a disturbance with its destructive power that trembled everyone. But no one had found where the Tribrid girl after the incident. They were restless. They need to find the tribid and kill it before everything became too late. One the other hand, Sidrich was oblivious of the destructive power within her. Being abused and slaved her whole life, it was hard for her to trust someone again. But meeting the second prince of Sharmai empire, Prince Alastair, Sidrich found herself trusting the prince instantly. His flirtatious remarks, his corny jokes, and his undying devotion to protect Sidrich at all cost beyond everything and everyone made the latter feel safe and comfortable towards the prince. Amidst of all chaos and chasing, the two fought for their love that has never been permissible. However, happiness comes with a price. With enemies trying to find and kill the tribrid, could the two of them would be able to fight until the end of all the havoc?

He smirked, knowing he was on the winning side. "So it's a done deal for three months?" He raised his eyebrows, putting his hand forth for a handshake. I looked at the long fingers and perfectly aligned nails and then at his patient face. Sighing to myself I my own hand into his and ignored the tingles that flowed through every nerve as his fingers curled around my hand and shook it lightly. "Yeah three months." "Goodnight then." He winked, removing his hand from mine and turned to walk away. "Hey wait!" I called out, suddenly remembering something. "You don't have my number." "What makes you think that? I have my ways Smith." And with one last wink I saw him take a turn and disappear from my sight. I let out a long breath, leaning on the nearby wall. Looks like I just made a deal with the Devil. * A sarcastic girl, a cocky guy. Throw in some mystery, murder, filthy jokes, wonderful friends, tons of kisses, secrets, surprises, eye-rolls and a killer on run. And you have got yourself a story never read before. ***So grab a cup of hot chocolate, some chips and a warm blanket and get ready to laugh, cry and bite your lip in anticipation. Enjoy!!

At dinner, Tiffany White grabs my fiance's phone and spends 100 thousand dollars on a designer bag. She even sticks her tongue at me. "Come on, Meredith. You're loaded. You won't mind such a small amount, right? Shawn and I share everything. His money is my money," she says. Everyone at the table waits for me to lose my temper or smile and let it slide like a saint. Instead, I calmly take out a voice recorder and my laptop from my bag and adjust my gold-rimmed glasses. "100 thousand meets the threshold for criminal filing. Since you said you two share everything, I have to ask—is this embezzlement or an illegal transfer tied to an improper personal relationship? "Oh, and what you just said about 'his money is my money'? I recorded that. According to the supplemental clauses in our prenup and the company bylaws, I'm officially initiating an asset-freezing order against Shawn Harrison." I turn to Tiffany. "Enjoy your free meals in prison, Ms. White." Shawn is livid. "It was just a joke, Meredith. Is it really necessary to ruin me over this?" I hit the "enter" key. "Sorry. In my book, there are no jokes—only bad debt."

Maica Delmundo is a well-known model—beautiful, sexy, intelligent, and admired by many. It seems like she has it all. But beneath her fame lies a hidden secret, one that could ruin the career she has worked so hard to protect. What is the secret she’s keeping? Is she ready to let go of her success? Or will she hold onto it, even if it means losing the man she loves?

“Trying to seduce me?” He asked, stepping into her personal space. She gulped. Why was he so sexy and looking at her like that, besides she was only in her towel and there was nothing underneath. That made her more insecure and scared. Scared that she would fall into his arms out of need. He caressed her cheek with one hand, “Can't answer me?” He muttered huskily, staring deep into her eyes. She blinked her eyes, “No, I-I didn't know the door was open,” He smirked, "Are you sure, because your body says differently,” “Uhm… I…” He suddenly leaned in closer, bringing his mouth to her ear, “If you're trying to seduce me next time, leave the towel in the bathroom.” She shuddered. *************************** Alva Garcia got arranged in a cold marriage with a sexy hot man, Jaxon Smith, who happens to be the new successor of his father's biggest internet company in America. What happens when two billionaires are arranged together in a marriage with plenty of secrets and emotions going on within them, will they be able to unveil it or act up until they depart from each other?

Eliza is a simple and uncomplicated young woman. She enjoys the outdoors, is good with animals, and, like most young women her age, loves to party and have fun. When she meets a sexy man with an alluring Southern drawl, she has no idea that he is involved in a world that she is yet to know, but is her legacy. Like it or not. "The Awakening" begins the saga of a female shifter named, Eliza.

** Warning!?! MATURE CONTENT!!!** " What will I do with you wife ?, you always know how to defy me " came his hoarse voice , his hot breath on her neck made her toes curl in passion. " I will do wicked things to you and tame you the only way I know how " he warned , his tone cold and his voice sounded sexy at the same time.