Short Dirty Jokes

Elena thought she would never mate with anyone in her life because she didn't trust men: her pack's Alpha possessed her twin sister at a very young age of her, and her father ran a business selling other girls including her best friend. All the men in the world were dirty, cunning, selfish, violent bastards to her, until she met Alpha Archer. But just when she was finally able to trust, he cut off their mate bond.

It honestly feels like I've been transported back to the Middle Ages. For the benefit of my pack, I just swore an oath to a man I've never met. The pack where I'm supposed to be the leader. The pack I'm not sure how to lead. I should learn fast, though. Because here he is, out of the blue, almost catching me by surprise. His green eyes, which shine like polished emeralds, make me stop in my tracks. His sharp jaw and short beard give him a dangerous look. His words of superiority, which were as smooth as velvet, hurt me deeply. So, this is my very hot husband who doesn't care about anything. I'm not even close to ready for this marriage. But he just walks into my space, all lean muscle and stalking grace. I have to use everything I have to get myself and the situation under control. What the heck did I sign up for?

What is destined to be the life of unrelated twins in the family of well known billionaires. One filled with love and the other used and hated. Kira gets her hands on some dirty secrets and to get her to be quiet, mr and mrs donaldson allows their own daughter to be used. Which ever man that kira says yes to for marriage she forces kendra to marry him. This act of kira causes kendra to be married to many men but one day changed everything after meeting her final husband who turns out to be an one of her ex husbands who had never stopped loving her.

Okay so long story short: Don't have one night stands - especially not with a werewolf, when your wasted beyond repair and there no protection because he mumbled in between heated kisses "Not to worry about it" (Idiot). If you ignore my little piece of advice, be prepared for the following: 1. pregnancy 2. the knowledge that supernatural creatures exist and 3. Being kidnapped by said creatures A bonus if they snatch your best friends too

Words, books and being the world’s number one journalist were her forte, as having a family or even thinking about it is out of her league. Yet somehow journalist Catherine Wayne found herself entangle and accepting a desperate job offer to help care for two adorable twins. She took the job, but only by force as she needed to write an article that would spill the private life and romance of the country’s top bachelor, riches CEO and single father Samuel Lawrence. Promising herself that he will never fall in love again to the same man who made her hate every man in the world. Sam knew Cath was different from the day that this familiar, but mysterious woman tames his two children. In just a short while she had coaxed a smile from his sullen daughter and got his son to speak. And she awakened a part of the widower’s heart he’d long since locked away. Something special, yet he cannot pinpoint what could it be. Cath still planned to leave, and he knew that if he stood any chance of convincing her to stay, he had to show her that they have a future together. With the lies, secrecy and once accident, can the temporary nanny realize that she could have a future and a second chance to be the CEO’S permanent wife?

"You can't escape us, Lana, we own you," Dax licked my face. But I could not move, Xavier's arms were around me, keeping me in place. "Please, I will pay back every cent that you paid me for the contract," I begged. "No, Lana, we both want to share you. Your contract will be mended," Xavier replied as he breathed on my neck, causing the hair on it to stand up. I gasped and my lips parted. In just a short space of time, I found myself entangled between the two brothers. They both owned a part of me and so I was tempted to agree and have them both to myself. *** Lana's life changes for the better or worse when she signs a marriage contract with Dax Salvatore for a year to raise money for her heart surgery. Dax Salvatore offers her the perfect deal and she will walk out with ten million dollars in her name. But when Dax's brother, Xavier, threatens to make the year contract with Dax impossible, she finds herself entangled in pain and pleasure with the two brothers. Will she walk away with the cheque in hand and her new heart intact, or will she lose them both and a chance of a new life?

I'm admitted to the hospital for gastritis, but my boyfriend shoots to his feet after receiving a call. "Chelsea has a fever. I'll go check on her; I'll be right back!" He runs off without waiting for me to say anything and doesn't return for the rest of the night. That night, I see a short clip that Chelsea Calloway has shared. "I'm not afraid of any illness with you by my side." I comment, "He is pretty good at caring for others."

I chase my six-year-old daughter out of the house on a cold winter day. I cut her new clothes to pieces and dirty her dainty little face with mud. Then, I give her all my savings. She looks at me tearfully and reaches out for me, wanting me to hold her. However, I harden my heart and push her away, saying, "Leave! Go to Bowen Group and look for their CEO, Logan Bowen. Show him my death certificate and your DNA test—he'll take you in." She sobs while looking at me. "Don't you want me anymore, Mommy? Let's go look for Daddy together." After a brief silence, I say, "I can't go with you. I lied to him back then to have you." Yes, I'm a liar. I orchestrated everything from meeting Logan, dating him, to ultimately leaving him with his child in my womb. Even the death certificate I've given my daughter is fake. From beginning to end, I've lied to him about everything except our daughter.

(A/N: Hello sweety, I want to inform you and assure you that this book is certainly the erotica book you are looking for. This book is all about the thrilling sex life of a youngster, which is very erotic, steamy, and has a touch of dark relationship and dark romance (BDSM). (Do enjoy reading!) Snow POV I stare at the naked figure besides me in amusement. I still can't believe that this man is the one making me moan crazily like a mad woman. His dirty words, his touch, the things he does to me, and the things he makes me do, felt really crazy but enjoyable. My life has become engulfed by him, making me madly obsessed and addicted to him. If I don't see him, I will feel uncomfortable and sad. He has become a vital part of my life, my breath, and everything! He makes me feel so good; he makes me feel like a real woman. He is the only one who can send me to hell in heaven and drag me back. The rate at which he handles my body when it tangles in his, the sexual chemistry, the burning pleasurable desire, and the way my body writhes in his addictive touch make me go lustfully crazy. I don't know if such feelings ever existed before! My mother never mentioned this to me; she even barely spared time to teach me sex education. But here I am, having a bonus, a premium of the real thing, and the unfortunate part is that he is my coach! A 30-year-old married man! While I'm just a 19-year-old trainee of his!

"But all these scars, they will always remind you of the beast that I am." He said in a hushed tones, caressing the scars on her face. "Not when they can be turned into beautiful scars." Her response echoed with confusion and incredulity to him. How could all the pain he had inflicted on her turn into something good? A broken and desperate, depressed Billionaire, and the poorest of all naive girl who just lost everything in a blink of an eye, and her mother just traded her like a piece of trash. They are to be bound together by a contract as husband and wife for just five months. Everything seems to be under control, until one night of total madness that complicates everything. She had done and sacrificed so much for him, asking nothing in return or ever complaining. In return, he asked for one night to treat her like the loving wife she is supposed to be. One night they surrendered and lost their souls to each other, marking the beginning of their unquenchable thirsts for each other. In the short run, a bond is formed. What happens if the two of them break the major rule of the contract? Who will bear the blame? What's the punishment for such an offense? When feelings arise, can they embrace them? But what happens when his real love returns? His crush. His first love. The one he once went insane for. She doesn't return empty-handed. She is seven months pregnant with the son he thought she lost. What will he do? Wait... His passionate nights with his contract wife bore fruits too. She is expecting his child. Will he marry both of them, or who will he choose?