Short Dirty Jokes

Set up to break her bond with her Alpha mate after the Lycan King passed a decree that no alpha was allowed to reject or break off their bonds with their mates unless the mates did it themselves, Ellie Fowler could hardly believe her luck when by some strange fate, she's immediately bonded to the Lycan King himself, who now thinks she's nothing but a disloyal mate and worse, an Omega. Lycan King, Archer Daalmans, has a year to find his mate to prevent him from losing his strength or worse, dying, and he is determined to find her only for that reason. However, he is disappointed to find his mate is a dirty Omega who doesn't know her place, and he wants nothing to do with her, but he can't seem to keep his eyes off her or stop himself from protecting her.

Layla was treated as a curse by her pack members, she was bullied and maltreated, even her father hated her, he accuses her for her mother's death, the pack considers her a disgrace and she's more taunted when she didn't get her wolf early, and she's taunted for having a white wolf, they call her a curse. She realizes that the alpha son Logan is her mate, yet he rejects her and maltreated her. Tired of staying in a place where she is not loved and wanted, Layla runs away. She finds out that she has a new mate in the woods, and she's excited to know he doesn't reject her. Her excitement is cut short when she realizes her mates dislike her, he doesn't want to reject her, nor does he intend to like her the way she thought he would. What will happen when she knows the reason for her new mate's hate? What will she know when she finds out her true nature? Will she understand him? Will Ethan set aside the hate he has for Layla's kind?

Quinn, a sweet, social and bubbly turned cold and became a badass. She changed to protect herself caused of the dark past experience with guys she once trusted. Evander will come into her life will become her greatest enemy, the villain of her life, but fate brought something for them, she fell for him but too late before she found out a devastating truth about him. What dirty secret of the villain is about to unfold? And how will it affect the badass?

Currently Ongoing: Vampire and the Siren "Who are you?" I asked again, ignoring his care and affection. "I'm …...and I'm just a friend," he smiled. His smile tugged at my heart and I can't believe I'm in the presence of someone this beautiful and breathtaking. He's six-foot, two inches tall, almost a giant to the short five-foot me. His dimple was one-sided and that made him extra attractive. I love how his sharp jaw is perfectly shaped to fit his face. He's so perfectly built that his biceps are almost bulging out of the black shirt that he was putting on. "How do you feel, Bella?" He asked, pulling me out of my thoughts. His hand landed on my shoulder, trying to force me back to sleep and once it made contact with my skin, I felt butterflies fluttering in my stomach. "You're perfect Bella, so perfect" --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- After meeting with Adonis for the first night, Bella asked for her memory of the night to be erased so she could forget about everything that happened that day and Adonis did as she wanted even though it was hard for the 200 years old vampire to let go of his soulmate. The only problem was Adonis couldn't keep off Bella and those memories won't stop hunting Bella's dreams every night, especially with the mysterious man who seems to be stalking her. BOOKS IN THE VAMPIRE CHRONICLES SERIES Book 1: Vampire and the Siren Book 2: Vampire's Wallflower Book 3: The Vampire King's Bride NB: Book cover changes when a new book in the series start

Book 3 in the Under the Moon Series: Maxen (or Max for short) has always enjoyed the old myths, legends and traditions of Wales, but he never expected in his wildest dreams to be dragged into one himself! When a huge red dragon lands in front of him, demanding a battle, Max is left perplexed by the notion. There is no reason for him to battle a living-breathing dragon! He refuses the challenge. After all, the dragon has an enormous advantage over Max. With the dragon not seeming to give up, and with even more supernatural beings coming into the picture, Max is about to find out what a God of the Underworld is capable of… the fire burns bright, but so too does the passion and desires of a God! Book 1: Under the Pale Moon Book 2: Under the Blue Moon Book 3: Under the Crimson Moon: A Dragon's Pride

What if your sworn childhood enemy is your mate ? Alphas and Betas of the same pack are usually the best of friends or at best, cordial co-workers and administrators. What if the future Alpha and Beta of a pack, are constantly at each other’s throats since their early childhood ? What will they do when fate plays dirty with them, when they need to not only tolerate each other as prime leaders of a ginormous, powerful pack but also stay together as mates ! Is this the Moon Goddess’ way of mocking them or is this her way to etch a heart thumping, romantic story to teach generations to come that love sees no boundaries ?

Every bonding anniversary, Shawn would bring home a new human girl from the outside—always under the lovely pretense of letting me mentor her on how to serve an Alpha. On our seventh anniversary, he brought back a nightclub girl dressed in a Princess Snow White outfit—cheap satin trembling under the chandelier's light. “She doesn’t have anything appropriate for an occasion like this,” he said casually. “Let her borrow your bonding dress. And the jewelry I gave you last time. As for shoes—what you're wearing now will do.” Then he added, with a trace of irony, “She’s just a young human girl, clueless. Teach her a few things about our world, will you? Especially the part about the bed.” Everyone was waiting for the spectacle—for me to break again, as I always had. And I didn’t disappoint them. I looked at Shawn, my voice steady, and said I wanted a bond-severance. He laughed—short and sharp—and leaned back like he was watching a comedy. “Clara, when are you going to stop with this bond-severance nonsense? I’ve heard it so many times. They’re just human girls, while you are my Luna. How could they ever compare to you?” Then, grinning as if doing me a favor, he added, “Fine. If you really want a bond-severance, I’ll gift you a territory in the south. Consider it a reward for doing your job as my Luna.” The room erupted in laughter. To them, I was ridiculous—greedy, jealous, hysterical. But what they didn’t know was that this was the 365th time I’d asked for a bond-severance. And the first time, I truly meant it. When he found out I wasn’t joking this time, he lost his composure. He searched for me across the world—only after he realized I was no longer where he thought I’d always be.

Helen Mark is a 21-year-old model for the Elite Modeling Agency. Although she lost her father who happens to be her only support at a very early age, she strives to become a successful model. She spent the morning in school, her afternoon practicing and working, then her evening in the hospital with her sick mother. It was time for the Model's Grand Finale and Helen was selected by her manager to represent her Agency and to also meet with Mr. Rex a top Director in the industry to push her career. Her joy was cut short when Mr. Rex's lustful feelings brought her to ruin. Lucas Dowell, a handsome young CEO was only in the Grand Finale to supervise some work when he bombed into the scene and saved Helen. Overwhelmed with her beauty, Lucas offers Helen a contract marriage to help solve the internal conflict he has with his family and company. With a huge sum of money, footing her mother's hospital bill as an exchange. Helen must learn to play a perfect wife to earn the fat amount and find ways to avoid falling for the handsome billionaire CEO.

I, Ginny Tremaine, have a written agreement in my mate contract with Tyler Kingsley, the chairman of the Werewolf Council. As long as I proposed to him 99 times first, he promised to personally show up at the Office of Werewolf Mate Affairs on the 100th time and complete our marking ceremony. However, Tyler doesn't show up on the promised day and instead appears on the main stage of the Silvernight Music Festival with his lover, Vivian Lowe. In the livestream watched by the entire pack, he leans down and kisses her so intimately that it's practically a declaration of ownership. The social media networks instantly erupt with excitement. "#ChairmanOfTheWerewolfCouncilOfficiallyRevealsMate." "Chairman of the Werewolf Council caught kissing his lover and showing PDA." At the same time, I become a trending search for standing in front of the Mate Affairs office for the 100th time. Everyone speculates about the identity of the mystery man who never showed up and wonders if I will try for a 101st proposal. Tyler, likely feeling guilty, promises me the next day, "Next time, I promise I'll be there on time." He arrives in a crisp suit with papers in hand, standing outside the Mate Affairs office. But all he receives is a short message from me, saying, "Alpha Tyler, there won't be a 101st proposal. We're truly over."

* The fourth book in the Love and Other Sorcery Series - Book One, The Mage's Heart, Book Two, The Golden Dragon's Princess, Book Three, Akyran's Folly * Love's Sacrifice Will Make You Stronger Tarragon, the first-born child of Queen Diandreliera of Uyan Taesil and her dragon husband, Aurien, is the child of prophecy in every way. She is beautiful, talented, well-learned, and a master of the sword she was born to wield. She is also as magnificent a golden dragon as her father when in dragon-form. Daethie loves and adores her older sister and envies her for all that Tarragon is and Daethie isn't. Short, small, dark haired, and unable to shift into a dragon, Daethie is fondly known as "the runt of the dragon litter." Whilst her siblings excel at Prince Akyran and Princess Ecaeris' Monster Hunting training, Daethie is a disaster more likely to harm herself than any monster that she encounters. When Prince Akyran brings Aien, the son of a local warlock who is well known for his villainy, to the castle as his hostage, Aien singles out Daethie to befriend, and Daethie falls hard and fast for the enigmatic warlock's son. With the increasing danger of monsters roaming their land, Tarragon leads an expedition to locate the portal that is allowing the creatures to cross from their world, but it is a dangerous, testing journey and one that not all will complete alive. What sacrifice will be made for love and the rescue of their world?