Spoiling Myself

It was a beneficial relationship for the both of us. A loveless and contractual realtionship. But, why did I let myself to have this feeling? Since when did I have this feeling? Is it possible for my love to be returned? Is it possible for me to stay with you? I want to be with you even if it means betraying everyone, If I can stay with you by leaving everything behind... I'm willing to do it without any hesitation. If loving you means danger, then I would gladly offer my life just to be with you!

"You're destroying me. Even without meaning to, you are." When is enough, enough? I just wanted to pursue my dreams as a producer, but life had other plans for me. Life decided that I needed to tangle myself with the man who has captivated the world with his talent and charm being the sexiest male idol alive. Life has decided that I should fall in love. And life has decided I should go through the pain of longing for something that could never be mine.

I could kill every wolf in my pack with what I grow in my greenhouse. That’s the only reason they let me live. No wolf. No rank. Just a healer’s hands that can save a life or stop one. Then the Alpha dies. And his son comes to claim the pack. Tarn. Scarred. Cold. Brutal. The blood heir of the man who murdered my mother. He walks past every ranked she-wolf in the territory. He points at me. “That one.” I can’t refuse a blood claim. But I can use it. He needs a healer because something is killing him from the inside. I need answers because his father destroyed my family and I’ve spent five years starving for the truth. Every time I heal him, the bond between us deepens. Every time it deepens, I hate him a little less. That’s the most dangerous part. His enforcer watches me like he’s waiting for something I haven’t figured out yet. The son of my mother’s killer. The man whose touch makes my greenhouse bloom in winter. The Alpha I was never supposed to want. I told myself I’d let him die. I told myself a lot of things.

"I, Torey Black, Alpha of the Black Moon reject you." His rejection hit me instantly. I couldn't breathe, unable to catch my breath as my chest heaved up and down, my stomach churning, unable to hold myself together as I watched his car speed down the driveway and away from me. I couldn't even comfort my wolf, she immediately retreated to the back of my mind, prohibiting me from speaking to her. I felt my lips wobble, my face scrunching up as I attempted to hold myself together but failing miserably. Weeks had passed since I last saw Torey my heart seeming to break a little bit more as the days went by. But lately, I found that I was pregnant. Werewolves pregnancies were much shorter than a human's. With Torey being an Alpha, it cut the time down to four months, whereas a Beta would be five, Third in Command would be six and a regular wolf would be between seven and eight. As suggested, I headed to bed, my mind full of questions and wonders. Tomorrow was going to be intense, there were a lot of decisions to be made. *Only for ages 18 and older.*---Two teenagers, a party and the unmistakable mate.

On the night before Match Day, it's 2:17 am when I find myself staring at the screenshot on my phone. For a long while, my heart refuses to calm down at all. Ethan Blake: "Let's have a bet, guys. If Leah doesn't get a spot at Redwood General Hospital tomorrow, this will mark the end of our relationship. The starting bet is two thousand dollars. Is anyone following up on this bet?" Already, more than a dozen people have responded to the message with various emojis. Someone even comments, "Count me in!" I feel my nails digging into my palms. "The end of our relationship", he says. To think that Ethan actually used this phrase. We've been dating for four years. This is the very same man who once told me that he wanted to marry me. Is it this easy for him to end a relationship? I take a deep breath and force myself to calm down. There are still other medical interns in the staff room with me. I mustn't lose my composure around them. I know that Ethan is waiting for me to react how I did in the previous times. I'd either spam his phone with missed calls, beg him to delete the message while crying, or apologize to him in an extremely humble manner. But now… Now, I'm really done with this relationship.

I get undressed and hide in my husband's dorm at work to surprise him. Yet it backfires on me—instead of my husband coming, his three colleagues are the ones who show up. They're thoroughly aroused by my lingerie and have their way with the cooking lady on the kitchen counter. It's such a raunchy scene that desire burns within me. I pleasure myself while watching them but accidentally moan out loud. The men turn to look at the closet where I'm hiding…

#While returning home from a late-night shift, I was knocked down by a delivery rider. The girl riding it was deaf and mute, looking no older than a teenager. I couldn’t bring myself to make things difficult for her, so I paid for the medical expenses at the hospital on my own. Limping back home, I saw a familiar delivery helmet lying at the doorway. From inside, laughter echoed through the walls. “She’s such a fool. I was just pretending but she believed it anyway.”

Ever since I was a child, people keep saying that I am just an adopted child. I keep on denying myself that I am not adopted though many people noticed that I don’t resemble my parents, unlike my younger brother. Until one day, a couple went to our house, claiming that I am their daughter. I didn’t expect that aside from my birth parents, I will also found the love that I was always dreaming of having.

When I was ten, I accidentally overheard my mother on the phone. It seemed like she was talking about me being a switched-at-birth rich girl, and that my real last name was Gardner. The coldness and cruelty my mother had shown me all these years suddenly made sense. When I turned 11, I paid an adult to get a maternity test done for both my mother and me. The results confirmed that I was indeed her biological daughter. I kept the report to myself and pretended I was still in the dark.

After my death, my parents sign an organ donor consent form on my behalf. They have my corneas removed and transplanted onto their beloved adoptive daughter, Grace Lane. She later marries my brother, and they become a true family. Grace and I competed over everything in life, yet I ended up dying with nothing. Now that I've been given a chance to start over, I decide to live life without them. Surprisingly, I find myself getting a happy ending.