Story Critique Example

Ever since high school kilala na ni Yasmin si Drake, at isa lang naman siya sa maraming nagkakagusto rito. Pero hindi naman siya delusional, alam niyang sa hitsura’t pamumuhay nito ay malayong magustuhan siya nito, tiyambahan lang ang mala-Cinderella love story sa totoong buhay. Pero magbabago ang akala niya’y imposible, hindi dahil nagkagusto na ito sa kanya, kung hindi dahil sa arrange marriage na kasasangkutan nila! Ito ang ka-arrange marriage niya dahil sa napag-usapan na ‘yon ng pamilya ng ama niyang hindi naman siya kinilala pero biglang nagkunwaring may bilang siya sa buhay nito para lang pagtakpan ang stepsister niyang dapat ay siyang mapapangasawa ni Drake, dahil ang stepsister niya’y nagpabuntis sa boyfriend nito at kasalukuyang itinatago ng ama sa ibang bansa. Iyon lamang, may longtime girlfriend si Drake nang mapangasawa niya, akala niya pagtagal maaaring magustuhan din siya nito, mahalin kahit paano, magbago ang lahat kapag naging mag-asawa na sila, pero kung gaano kahirap sa kanya ang magbuntis dahil sa PCOS niya ay siya ring hirap pabalingin ni Drake sa kanya. Limang taon, sa limang taon na ‘yon parang wala man lang siyang naging halaga rito. Nang malaman niyang buntis siya, akala niya ay iyon na ang babago sa kanila pero bago pa niya masabi rito ay nalaman nitong binayaran lamang siya ng ama para pakasalan ito.

WARNING: READ AT YOUR OWN RISK| THIS STORY CONTAINS RATED SPG | Si Bonie Ignacio o kilala sa tawag sa kaniya sa niya trabaho bilang Lily, isang police detective agent ng isang organization na kung saan si Bonie ang gumagawa ng mga inside job mission kung saan ito magaling. Siya ay nagtatrabaho Crime Detective Operation o CDO. Si Bonie ay laking ampunan at pinalaki ng mga madre, ito ang tumulong sa kaniya upang makapag aral ng high school at kolehiyo bilang isang pulis, pero dahil sa isang pangyayari ay pinili niya ang trabaho na siya mismo ang makakahanap ng taong pumatay sa kinalakihan niyang pamilya. Iba't-ibang mission na ang nagagawa niya, isa si Bonie sa mahusay na agent pero laging lihim ang trabaho niya upang hindi siya balikan ng mga taong pinababagsak niya, buhay man o patay. Nakakatanggap lang siya ng misyon na gagawin niya bilang pag-iingat sa identity niya, at ang bagong misyon na iniatas sa kaniya ay ang mapatay ang isang malaking mafia druglord sa bansa. Bonie starts her mission, she gathers information about her target, sa kaniyang misyon ay makikilala niya si Primo Ferrer na hindi niya maiiwasang mahalin. Paano niya maipagpapatuloy ang kaniyang nararamdaman kay Primo kung ito ang magiging dahilan upang hindi matapos ni Bonie ang kaniyang mission. Bonie as Rose, a secret police detective agent, will try to finish her mission as she falls in love with Primo who is dangerous for her and for her mission.

**When ambition blinds you to what truly matters, but one woman helps you see the light...** Victor Difabio once believed that winning the **Best Actor Award** would fill the emptiness in his life. He sacrificed everything—his time, his body, and his very soul—only to find that success comes at a devastating cost. The moment he finally achieves his dream, tragedy strikes when his beloved, **Phinea Lawson**, takes her own life, leaving Victor with nothing but a trophy and a heart full of regret. --- *"I need to make things right,"* Victor vows, awakening to find himself back in time, just before his wedding day. *"This time, I will prioritize your happiness, Phinea."* As he sets out to spoil her and repay the debts of his past, Victor embarks on a new project that intertwines their fates: an adaptation of Phinea’s favorite novel, **"Suddenly, I Know Nothing."** He works tirelessly to ensure its success, unaware of the profound connection between the story and their lives. --- *"You think you can change the future?"* Phinea asks, her eyes filled with hope and skepticism. *"What if the past is already written?"* Victor's heart races as he faces the challenges of fame, jealousy, and the haunting shadows of their past. With adversaries lurking in the wings, including Phinea's twin sister, **Peregrine**, he must navigate a treacherous path to protect the woman he loves. --- *"You don’t understand, Victor,"* Phinea says, tears glistening in her eyes. *"I’m not worthy of your love. I’m not even a true Lawson."* Victor steps closer, his voice firm. *"You are everything to me, Phinea. Your worth isn’t defined by your name. You are the woman who saved me from myself."* --- **What happens when a man driven by ambition learns that true happiness lies in love and connection?**

"That demon took my dignity, and he will never be able to get it back even if the payment is death." —Amelia. A mistaken prostitute. A billionaire who raped her. And a story of chase. Daughter of a famous company owner, Amelia Raine Salvador. Pagka tapos pumanaw ng kaniyang ina ay muling nag asawa ang kaniyang ama, dahilan para magalit siya ng tuluyan sa mundo dahil ang ugali ng bagong asawa ng kaniyang ama ay malayong malayo sa ugali ng kaniyang pumanaw na ina. Despite being famous for being a womanizer and cold hearted, Chase Santiago still gets everything he wants with his money and power. One day, Amelia lost her way so she came to Chase house to ask for help. He mistaken her as a prostitute and raped her because he was drugged by his enemies. Nalaman ni Amelia na siya ay nag dadalang tao kaya nag madali siyang pumunta ng ibang bansa. When she returned with her twins, Amelia did not expect that she and Chase would meet again, and in their second meeting, Chase still thought she was a prostitute. Nalaman ni Chase ang tungkol sa twins, naging malapit siya sa mga ito ngunit binalaan siya ni Amelia na lumayo siya sa kanilang buhay. But one day, Amelia's ex-fiancé arrives, asking her to come back to his life. There are still many questions in Amelia's mind, was her decision to return right? Or how can she ignore that she is starting to like Chase? Will she confess her feelings or will she just bury it in oblivion because just like the moment her mother left her, she was destined to be alone forever.

They said what happened in the past stays in the past! Yun sana ang gustong mangyari ni Angelina. A 28 years old girl who came from a poor family na tubong Cagayan De Oro City na napilitang manirahan sa maynila. Angelina is always optimistic in life, mayroon siyang mga katangian na hindi mo makikita sa iba kagaya ng kagandahan, kabaitan at kasipagan pero sa kabila ng mga magagandang katangian niya ay nagkukubli ang masalimuot na nakaraan na pilit niyang tinatakasan at itinatago sa lahat. Pero may kasabihan nga na kung wala kang natutunan sa iyong nakaraan ay patuloy ka nitong hahabulin at babalikan. At yun ang nangyari kay Angelina nung makilala niya sa bar ang isang estranghero sa katauhan ni Carson Constantine 29 years old at isang mayamang binata at palaging seryoso na may-ari ng 3C's Industry ang nanakaw sa puso ni Angelina na puno ng pait at sakit pero sadyang mapaglaro ang tadhana ng makilala niya ang kapatid nitong si Cray Constantine 28 years old a jolly person and a co-owner of 3C's Industry na hindi sukat-akalain ni Angelina na mamahalin niya ng tunay kagaya ng pagmamahal niya sa kapatid nito, kaya naman ang couple love story lang sana ni Angelina at Carson ay naging two in one dahil kay Cray.   Pero bawat kasiyahan ay may kaakibat na kalungkutan at ang nakaraan na pilit niyang tinatakasan ay muli siyang binalikan ng dahil sa isang pangyayari. Pangyayaring susukat sa tatag ng pagmamahal niya sa magkapatid.      

Zelena Artemis Caitlin Harris is a typical girl who loves her family so much. Dahil para sa kaniya, pamilya ang dapat na inuuna nino man. Kahit pa ang ibig sabihin nito ay ibenta niya ang sarili niya sa iba para lamang masuportahan ang kaniyang ina, at dalawang nakababatang kapatid. Si Zeno Black ay isang binatang bilyonaryo at kinatatakutan ng lahat. He's a ruthless, wicked Mafia Boss, and he is the boss of a mafia group called the Blacks. Everything was fine until Zelena came to Zeno's club, and free herself for a night. Pero paggising niya kinaumagahan, isang estranghero ang tumambad sa kanyang mukha. Hindi rin naman maikakailang sa una nilang pagkikita ay nagkagusto sa kanya ang binata. At dahil doon, naisipan ni Zeno ang isang kakaibang bagay. Ang gawing playmate sa kama si Zelena na nakita niya sa bar. And Zelena always deem na wala lang ang nangyari sa kanila, but everything will takes place as she start unraveling the truth about her life, and his dad who was killed when she was a child. Little did she know na ang pagkikita nila ng lalaki ang tuluyang magpapabago sa buhay niya. Because Zeno's father was the one who killed her dad, and what upsets her more is Zeno hid it to her, but despite of that she believes him. But no, everything was just a plan, a mafia group called Dritt Organization planned it all. All the killings were their doing, they set up everything--from start to finish. And when Zelena and Zeno knew it, they start eliminating the group, they start working together. Once and for all, all the beginnings has an ending, for some is a tragic ending, but on their love story, it is magically a happy ending.

“Alam kong bawal… pero bakit sa lahat ng lalaki, siya pa?” Hindi inakala ni Scarlett na ang isang gabing akala niya’y mananatiling lihim ay babalik para guluhin ang buong buhay niya. Bilang isang graduating education student, handa na siyang tahakin ang panibagong yugto ng pagiging pre-service teacher. Akala niya, ang magiging problema lang niya ay lesson plans, classroom observations, at kung paano mapabilib ang kanyang cooperating teacher. Pero sa unang araw pa lang ng practicum, gumuho agad ang katahimikan niya. Dahil ang lalaking nakatayo sa harapan ng classroom—ang lalaking may malamig na mga mata at nakakabinging presensya—ay siya ring lalaking naka-one night stand niya. At mas nakakabigla? Siya ang lalaking kailangan niyang makasama, makatrabaho, at harapin araw-araw. Sa pagitan ng propesyon at pagnanasa, respeto at tukso, hanggang kailan nila kayang itago ang lihim ng gabing nagbuklod sa kanila? At paano kung habang pilit niya itong nilalabanan, lalo naman siyang nahuhulog sa lalaking hindi niya dapat mahalin at pagnasahan? ------------ Warning: This novel contains erotic and explicit scenes that may not be suitable for all readers. This story is purely a product of the author’s imagination. Names, characters, events, and situations are fictional and are not intended to depict or represent real people or real-life events. Strictly for readers 18 years old and above only. If you are under 18, please do not read. Read at your own risk. <3 --mayonaka_kisaki

Akala ni Yallah Cruz, nahanap na niya ang perfect love at ang taong para sa kanya—ang boyfriend niyang si Clark Gray. On their 2nd anniversary, she planned to surprise him at ibibigay niya ang ultimate gift: ang sarili niya, ang kanyang innocence, at ang buong puso niya. Pero cruel ang tadhana. Sa halip na masayang welcome, nahuli niya itong may kahalikan at kasiping na ibang babae. Brokenhearted at sobrang nasaktan, tumakbo palayo si Yallah at nilunod ang sarili sa alak para lang makalimot sa sakit. Dahil sa kalasingan at labis na lungkot, kusa siyang lumapit sa isang gwapong estranghero. Lost in her grief and the heat of the moment, nakasama niya ito at nagkaroon sila ng unforgettable night of passion. Akala niya, one night stand lang at hindi na sila magkikita pang muli. Pero ang hindi niya alam... Ang lalaking nakasama niya ay walang iba kundi si Noah Grayson, the son of the big boss at ang bagong CEO ng kumpanyang pinagtatrabahuhan niya. Ngayon, under na siya sa kanya. Kilala agad ni Noah ang pabango niya, ang mga mata, at ang katawan niya... "Don't even try to run away, because you can't escape me anymore." Naiipit sa masakit na past kasama si Clark at sa intense obsession ng bagong boss, mapipigilan pa ba ni Yallah ang lalaking nagsasabing sa kanya lang siya? Or will she fall deeply in love with the billionaire who swears to love and protect her forever? Witness the story of love, revenge, and possession habang inaangkin muli ni Noah ang babaeng para sa kanya

WARNING❗️ MATURED CONTENT❗️❗️❗️ SERIES 11 OF 50! I am the perfect son in the eyes of my dying mother until I’m not. All the things I knew about myself and my mother’s death were all lies. My life in general was built on lies. Now, I only had to focus on one thing—be the best leader the Draco Elites had ever had. Be accepted by the notorious crime group, Foedus; to protect the people that matter to me, Carlene, and my men. That was until I met her. Stiffany. She changed every fucking thing. One look and I was bewitched. Under her spell. She’s refreshing and unique. Until she isn’t. She’s a bombshell liar with a smart mouth and legs for days. She betrayed me and I’ll break her. I’ll make her life a living hell. Until her past and mine come back at us. She was caught in the middle of the chaos and I was shattered. Now, I need to do everything in my power and Foedus to save my woman. I don’t care if I burn down the world to ashes or bathe with my enemy's blood. If my enemies—our enemies don’t kill me first. A buried past. A twisted game of love and betrayal. Three souls. Two women and a man with more enemies than allies. When love is more dangerous than entering the world of Foedus, will you leave or just surrender? “Lorenzo tastes like danger and power. A deadly combination. Totally intoxicating.”- Stiffany Author's Note: Names, places, characters, and incidents are just products of my imagination. Any resemblance to the event in the story is just a coincidence. Pwera na lang sa mga nagpahiram ng pangalan. God bless all.

In a world ruled by power and betrayal, Atticus Escoban, the younger daughter of the influential Escoban family, has always lived away from the dangerous chaos of their criminal empire. For 21 years, she was sheltered, hidden, and protected. But her life changes forever when Alijax Costaloña, the cold and calculating heir of the Costaloña dynasty, violently confronts her father, leaving him gravely wounded. Atticus never expected to be caught in the crossfire of her family’s schemes. Worse, Alijax discovers her existence and shocks everyone by choosing her—over her older sister Anneth—to be his fiancée. The engagement is a sham, a dangerous ploy to secure alliances, but Alijax has plans no one can predict. Determined to protect her family at any cost, Atticus agrees to the engagement, kahit na lumalaban ang puso niya sa ideya. Behind her composed exterior, she plots her way out, refusing to let the Costaloñas dictate her future. But the closer she gets to Alijax, the harder it becomes to distinguish between the man who ruined her family and the one who seems capable of understanding her like no one else. “Do you think you can escape this, Atticus?” he said, his voice dangerously low as he cornered her in the dimly lit study. “You’re mine now. Whether you like it or not.” Her fists clenched, and she met his cold, unreadable gaze with defiance. “You can own the world, Alijax Costaloña, pero ako? Hindi mo ako makukuha.” In a game of power, deception, and forbidden emotions, Atticus must make the ultimate choice. Will she sacrifice her freedom to protect her family, or will she risk it all to claim the life she truly deserves? Love and survival collide in a story where nothing is what it seems, and every decision could be deadly.