Stupid Knock Knock Jokes

BOOK ONE OF THE IMMORTAL SERIES “Over a hundred people have reported you for aggravated assault, vandalism of property, several attempts at bullying, invasion of privacy, and reckless driving. Who are you?” The stupid police officer in front of me asked as he continued to read out, “Kidnapping??” “Mark I think that is enough,” Zachariah intervened. Mark closed the file that had all of my detailed crime reports as he glared at me. “And so on,” he said, placing it on the table that separated us from each other. “What do you have to say for yourself?” he asked. I sniffed into the air as I exhaled out deeply, my back relaxing less comfortably on the iron chair as I answered with not a single show of concern at all. “What can I say? They all deserved it.” I cackled as I admired my gloves, having nothing but evil thoughts as I looked at them.  ____________________________________________________________________ Cursed since birth to become the Snake Goddess and wield supernatural powers way stronger than she can imagine, Eve is on a journey to become one of the greatest the immortal realm has ever seen, and she won't be on this journey alone. But with her amulet still missing and the world slowly drowning into utter chaos because of her, time can only tell if there has been a mistake made in handing over such powers to her, as there are secrets that lie ahead of her that can either rip her apart or make her stronger.

“You’re nothing without me, Emery.” “You’re just a stupid orphan, with a silly life and you’ll always be caught in the crossfire. Wolfless. Unwanted. You're a body to satisfy me when I need it.” ~~~~~~~~~~ Emery has always known herself as the reject. Despite being the Alpha King’s mate she has to watch him marry someone else because unlike her, she has a wolf. His bride is the daughter of a famous Alpha and a prosperous pack. Unlike her, she won’t bring disgrace to him by being his Luna. The reality of the truth Emery would have ignored stares her right in the face and as she’s to be shipped into exile, Nikolai’s new bride sends for her life. Left with no other option Emery flees into the woods and passes out at the feet of a mysterious stranger. As time goes on she realizes she’s just been thrust into the midst of something more dangerous than she could ever imagine. And with an even more dangerous secret of her own too. She’s pregnant with Nikolai’s child, so fleeing her now rejected mate isn’t all she has to do. Will Emery break like she’s always been told she will? And will Nikolai, relentless in his want for Emery, finally see that the woman he wants will not be at his side as a slave, but as his equal, no matter the consequence?

He is the love of her life but also a stranger. For over a year, she remained his dutiful wife wondering if he would love her just as much as she loved him. How stupid had she been? Elodie Taylor marriage to Henry Ford was never a bed of roses but she was ready to deal with it and endure because she loved him. However fate deals her a cruel hand when he is visited by his long lost love and he returns home one day with news that she is pregnant for him. Broken by the news, Elodie decides to divorce him but Henry refuses, claiming he does not want her out of his life and so she decides to stay. She is going to be his dutiful wife and she is going to seduce him and when he has fallen irrevocably in love with her, she is going to break his heart.

On her eighteenth birthday, Lily found out that she was mated to the twin Alphas and thought her worries had come to an end. What she never knew was that those two Alphas were the ones to put an end to her life. Death had been her friend and companion, someone that she had been wanting to come and knock on her door until now. An incident led to another and a beaten up Lily took her last breath after praying to be given a second chance, to avenge all that was done to her and prove people wrong. The question is, will she be able to have her mission accomplished or will she let her desires wash over her and mislead her? The choice is hers to make, with the key in her hand.

Excerpt "Lily, I never stopped thinking about you, you were always on my mind" I heard Ryan say as he stood behind me. I felt the hardness of his crotch as he pressed himself to me. I turned around and kissed him, and then we heard a knock on the door "Mommy, I'm coming in" my little daughter Isabella called out and we scampered for our clothes that was everywhere on the floor. Lily Thompson was a single mother that was abandoned by her college sweetheart when she was nineteen. She was disowned by her parents days after her parents found out that she was pregnant and she had to drop out college and fend alone for herself and her baby Years later, her baby grew up to be a young, beautiful and innocent girl, Isabella . Isabella was Lily's comfort through trying times. She was so sweet but sometimes she was a little too sweet She decided to play matchmaker with her mother to find her a husband when she saw how lonely her mother was. She would pretend to be lost when she found someone attractive on the street, she would then and ask for his help to send her home. As she said, it was the most convenient way to set me up with a kind-hearted and charming man. Well, she did have a point, right? Once again, Lily heard her daughters voice talking with some guy from the porch. She opened the door and planned to thank the man. But she almost froze when she saw him. It's HIM! The familiar face and scent immediately brought her back to the night years ago. Isabella flew into her arms and whispered to her. “Mommy, I got you a husband, for real this time!” If only she knew

"How do you want me to eat your corpse? Boiled and properly spiced, or grilled, just like barbecue?" Rex asked coldly, his face a mask of cruelty as he approached Arianna, the fearless little bitch who came to steal drugs from him. ***** Arianna Fraser escaped to Las Vegas after killing her step father accidentally, to escape prison time. She began to work at starlight, the biggest hotel resort in Las Vegas boulevard, which belongs to the devil, Rex Santorini, the dreaded crime lord of Las Vegas. Her grandma soon fell sick and she had no money to save her only surviving relative. So she took the most stupid decision. STEAL MEAT FROM THE DEVIL'S MOUTH! She began to steal from Rex till her luck ran out. Few minutes before her execution, he thought of a better use for her. A sex slave! Arianna joined an assassin group in her desperation to get easy money. Her first mission soon arrived, KILL REX SANTORINI. Filled with hesitation as he has begun to treat her well, Arianna kept declining till she found out that Rex was the culprit that killed her mother. Blinded by rage, she became a deranged weapon which Rex's enemy can use against him, worse she had become his biggest weakness. She gets caught in a web of lies and deceit, travelling deeper into the darkness while loosing everything dear to her. When the result of her folly rebounded on her, she had been trapped. However, will Rex find it in himself to save her?. After she had mercilessly tried to kill him on several occasion.

Have you ever pain so raw it feels like your hear is being dragged out of your heart? The type that breaks into pieces you could never find because they are lost to the wind of scorn and shame. Cassandra carries her pain like a weight on her shoulder everyday despite her smiles and jokes, too young to remember what it felt like to have parents before she lost hers to an accident her grandparents do not like talking about she is trying to find the little good life has in store for her. But she is given a brutal awakening when the one person she thought would bring her much needed happiness tosses her aside. So Cassandra runs away from it all, she runs far enough to never feel the despair looming behind her. And she runs into the arms of Ray, handsome, cocky, but caring, considerate, and loving. Cassandra is about to find out love works without the mate ties and build bonds with the most unlikely people. Cassandra is about to find the love acceptance she always yearned for in the most unlikely place.

There were only two types of people in our town. "The Guerras and us, the "Caolins". My father classified them as our neighbors like that. "The Guerras were either too stupid or too smart to leave." While we wondered how to escape. There was no doubt about which of the two could rule the town. My father obeyed one of the Guerras men, but I never had the courage to ask him why he did it. My father was a doctor and he knows many things or hides something terrible from me. I know that he hides many secrets from me and has protected me in every way from knowing the truth, but I will grow up and with his help I will either not know everything, or my name will not be Delmon Salvadore. My father tells me every day that danger is on my side and that I have to protect myself so that I never become someone I don't want to be. If it has to do with my life or my origins, I will know, but one thing I know is that there are dark mysteries that torment me and this always happens on the full moon. I am afraid of what could really be, I believe that many things are involving my mother, the one who mysteriously disappeared, leaving me alone with my father. If there is something that I do not know, it is about to be revealed because my dreams reveal it to me and I believe that it is my future in a few years. If this is true, I will be a terrible person that I do not really know. However, now I am ready to face everything that comes and one of the things is to avenge my father's death.

It had been ten years, and Ethan—my mate—and I still didn’t have a pup. One day, he suggested we adopt one from the Werewolf Orphan Charity Agency. “My mate,” he said gently, “pregnancy is too hard for you. You’d have to go through so many checkups and herbs. Your wolf shouldn’t have to suffer like that.” When others heard this, they all said Ethan loved me deeply—that he couldn’t bear to see me in pain. But I saw the truth with my own eyes. He took an infant pup from another she-wolf. “Luckily, Mia isn’t pregnant,” he said. “That way, the excuse of adopting an infant works—and the pup can have a legitimate status in my clan.” I knew that she-wolf well. The same one Ethan used to call a “stupid omega.” Swallowing the bitterness in my heart, I called my mentor at the Werewolf Research Academy. “I want to devote myself to herb research,” I said calmly. Three days from now, during the pup’s first New Moon blessing, I’ll fake my death in a fire. No one will be able to stop me.

He joined them like the others to destroy me. When he was good, he made me believe we could weather the storm. When he turned bad he made me believe he was the storm. “Good luck to your present Luna and if you haven’t good luck when you find her. I never loved you more than a friend, and today I’ll repeat I don’t love you, never did and never will not in a million years. What happened between us was in the past which was never meant to blossom. Let me go, I don't belong here, not in this pack and never will….” Before the words could successfully leave my lips a deafening sound rocked the cell and a large open dent came on the wall. Tagon. He took long hoarse breaths, his tight fist stuck in the wall. His eyes darkened with angry growls. What kind of a man has he turned to? It felt so hard not to think of the past. It was so hard not to think about how things were. The good days. He was the sweetest man I’ve ever met. I was foolish back then to think those affections were real. I was stupid to think my tainted blood could be made pure by garnering his favor and his affections. There were only two events he ever got mad: the first time we met where he met me crying and the second was when I told him… nevermind. He clicked his tongue sharply, “As long as you live you would forever be under my dominance. I own you. Your life, your blood and even your soul to do whatsoever my soul pleases. You are my slave and that’s your lot!”