FOUR YEARS RAISING MY INFERTILE HUSBAND'S SECRET FAMILY
I stood in the laundry room for a long time after that, the washing machine humming its ordinary rhythm beside me.
I want to try to describe what moved through me in that stillness, because it wasn't one feeling. It arrived in layers, too fast to properly separate.
First: disbelief, thin and brittle, the kind that makes you reread something three times because surely, surely you've misunderstood it.
Maybe it's a coworker. Maybe it's a client's wife. Maybe there's an entirely ordinary explanation, and I'm about to feel foolish for the fear currently climbing up the back of my throat.