Teks Stand Up Comedy Lucu Bikin Ngakak

“IKAW?” My eyes nearly popped out of my face when I saw him—the mysterious stranger from last night. Is it him? The same man? Parang gusto kong mahimatay. Wehh? Hindi pwede! Impossible! my inner voice screamed, pero ang katawan ko nanginginig na parang nakuryente. Hard f*ck na yata ng buhay ‘to. And suddenly, a memory crashed into me like a tidal wave. That night. That stupid, reckless night. The stolen kisses, the laughter between moans, the way he made me beg—“Wag kang titigil!”—like I’d lose myself if he stopped. I swore I’d never see him again. I swore it was just a one-night stand, a mistake I could bury. But now he’s standing right in front of me. Not just a man. Not just anyone. But the CEO. And worse… the ex-boyfriend who once shattered my heart. His smug grin sent shivers down my spine. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I?” he said, like fate itself was mocking me. I froze, torn between rage, fear, and something I couldn’t even name. My mind screamed run, but my heart whispered, stay. My world was spinning, and suddenly, every choice felt heavier than ever. Will this be the start of something dangerous… or a responsibility I can’t escape?

"Mark the day Alpha Sahin, if I die in that dungeon....it will be your doom!" ***** The baby Princess of the Donner's pack has never transformed and therefore had no pure were wolf blood running in her. She was bashed, abused and tortured for it by her father, the Alpha and she swore never to forgive him - will she want revenge? Prince Lucius of the Alphaeus pack doesn't want to become Alpha, therefore, he ran away from home. He met the girl with a deep blue eyes, speckling with gold around her Iris and he fell for her but attacked her instead, why? Every day of his birth, he loses control of his wolf and becomes feral, dangerous, ruthless that every inch of the pack trembled whenever he howled - he was always locked up. Then, meeting his mate, will he reject her as she is human? Deepest secrets, he locked himself up - how and why? Will he ever open his locked self?

One reckless night was never supposed to change her life forever. Amara never imagined her worst day would lead her into the arms of a complete stranger. After losing her job, a night at the club ends in the bed of a dangerously irresistible man—who turns out to be Lucian Draxen: arrogant, ruthless, and the billionaire every woman in the city dreams about. When an unexpected pregnancy ties them together, Amara is forced to confront him again. Desperate and out of options, she agrees to his cold-hearted contract: work as his maid until their child turns five, then disappear forever, leaving him with full custody. The deal offers her baby financial security—but at the cost of her freedom, and maybe even her heart. Can she survive living under his roof without surrendering to the dangerous pull between them? Or will their bargain destroy them both? Find out in The Billionaire’s One-Night Stand — a story of passion, betrayal, and the dangerous line between love and ruin.

A wealthy heiress from Belvoria’s elite circle asked me to be her dead boyfriend’s substitute. My compensation included a 50,000-dollar base salary, plus 8,000 dollars per shared meal and 10,000 dollars per accompanying shopping trip. My hypocritical older sister quickly stopped me from agreeing to this deal. “We come from a respectable family. How can you sell your dignity for such little money?” Yet she later became a rich man's mistress and successfully married into wealth. Meanwhile, I struggled to balance work and studies to pay for my tuition. This hurt my academic performance. After graduation, I could only find a job with a monthly salary of 3,000 dollars. I even developed a tumor from overworking. I eventually died in a cold and impersonal hospital, unable to afford treatment. When I opened my eyes again, I had returned to the day the young heiress asked me to be her dead boyfriend’s substitute. This time, I agreed without hesitation. I was determined to take this role.

“Apa? Malam pertama?? Jangan mimpi! Aku nggak sudi menyentuhmu! Apa kamu nggak sadar bagaimana kondisi wajahmu itu? Meskipun dipolesi riasan semahal apa pun, nggak akan mengubah kenyataan bahwa kamu itu jelek!” Karena berwajah jelek, Cahaya disia-siakan suami dan ibu mertua. Cahaya tidak pernah disentuh dan selalu dihina oleh sang suami yang bernama Adam. Selain itu, dia juga hanya dijadikan pembantu gratisan saja oleh ibu mertua. Sudahlah tidak disentuh dan diperbudak, hati Cahaya semakin hancur karena suaminya menikah lagi tanpa sepengetahuannya. Perceraian pun terjadi. Setelah bercerai, Cahaya menemukan rahasia besar bahwa dirinya adalah putri yang hilang dari keluarga kaya. Dengan dukungan keluarganya yang kaya, gadis buruk rupa itu bangkit dengan cara mengubah semua yang ada pada dirinya agar terlihat cantik sempurna.

Bethany terkejut karena Bella, saudari kembarnya, dikabarkan telah menghilang selama sebulan. Ia pun segera pergi ke apartemen Bella dan menemukan beberapa foto perundungan di apartemen itu. Tanpa pikir panjang, Bethany memilih untuk menyamar sebagai Bella demi mencari tahu apa yang terjadi. Namun, di hari pertama dia menyamar, seorang pria tiba-tiba memanggil nama aslinya. "Siapa kau? Bagaimana kau tahu?" "Bella tidak punya tatto ular sepertimu"

"He was supposed to be cannon fodder. Now he’s the CEO’s obsession.” Sky Templeton thought dying broke was the worst fate. That was until he opened his eyes in the body of a doomed secretary inside a cheesy romance novel he once rage-dropped. The role? Cannon fodder, destined to be crushed under the heel of the cold and ruthless billionaire CEO, Dream Lancaster. But life gives Gloss no time to despair. A mischievous system binds to him with cruel missions: survive 100 days, raise the CEO’s affection score from -1000 to +1000, and…most terrifying of all, rewrite his tragic ending. Gloss only wanted to survive. He never expected to become entangled in office politics, fake dating contracts, or the dangerous pull of a man who despised him. Yet, with every mission cleared, Dream’s icy mask begins to crack, revealing scars and loneliness Gloss never thought a ruthless CEO could carry. Was this just the system’s game, or had fate rewritten both their stories?

Alcohol and heartbreak are definitely not a good combo. Too bad I learned that a little too late. I’m Tessa Beckett and I painfully got dumped by my boyfriend of three years. That led me to get drunk at a bar and have a one-night stand with a stranger. Before he would see me as a slut the next day,I paid him for the sex and deeply insulted his ability to please me. But this stranger turned out to be my new boss!

Eleanor sterling finds out she is pregnant with quadruplets after an unforgettable one-night stand with a mysterious man.  Years later, she is employed to work for the billionaire CEO of the skyline company, Sebastian Donovan, who was also the father of her quadruplets. They instantly get attracted to each other and as hard as Eleanor fights it, she gets deeper into a strange and dangerous world of riches. She finds herself drowning in secrets, mysteries, and seduction. Will she hide the truth forever, or tell the truth to him? Will Sebastian come to love her, or will he treat her like many others…?

Extract Alpha Dominic’s gaze cut through me like ice. “I don’t know you,” he spat, his voice filled with disgust. “How dare you show up out of nowhere, claiming to be my mate, claiming to carry my child, when I have never laid eyes on you before?” “Um, I—” I opened my mouth to explain, to tell him everything, but he cut me off. “Are you here for money? Is that it?” Without waiting for an answer, he reached into his car and pulled out a bundle of cash, flinging it at my feet. “I don’t want to see your filthy face again. I won’t waste my energy rejecting you. We will never be together. The moon goddess must have been mistaken to think a lowlife like you could be my mate.” The money lay scattered on the ground as hot tears blurred my vision. “I’m not lying,” I sobbed. “I am carrying your child.” Wolfless and satisfied, all Odette ever wanted was to be promoted and to become a full-time teacher. But her world came crumbling down when her boss made sexual advances at her, saying it was the only way for her to keep her job. Brokenhearted, she ran from the school, and instead of going home to her family, she went to a hotel, got drunk, ended up in the bed of a stranger, and got pregnant afterwards. She was sent out of the house by her mother until she aborted the baby. Will she abort the baby? Or find the father of her child?