tell me a filipino joke

Si Kalila Madison Ramirez ay bagong estudyante lamang sa Gatewood University. Wala siyang kaide-ideya sa sitwasyong napasukan niya. Desenteng paaralan pero maraming sekreto at kababalaghan. Sumpa raw ayon sa mga mag-aaral. Ang mga tao ay konektado at isa isang pinapaslang. Walang may alam. Lahat kinakabahan. Bawat biktima ay may hawak na pulang rosas. Sino? Sino ang may kagagawan? Sino ang susunod? Siya na ba? Ngunit, papaano siya makakalabas sa gulong wala naman siyang kinalaman?

Tumibok ang inosenteng puso ni Annabelle sa murang edad na disi-nuebe sa sundalong nadestino sa probinsiya nila—si Lt. Luis Miguel Saavedra. “You look perfect tonight, sweetheart.” Nakangiti ang malamlam na mga mata ng binata na nakatitig kay Annabelle. Hinawi nito ang ilang hibla ng buhok na nakalaylay sa pisngi niya at inipit iyon sa likod ng tainga. “Bagay na bagay sa iyo ang pangalan mo.” Sa kabila ng siyam na taong agwat ng kanilang edad ay naiparamdam nila sa isa’t isa ang kanilang tunay na pagmamahalan. Nanumpa ng pag-ibig na walang hanggan. Ngunit isang hindi inaasahang dagok ang dumating, bunga nito ay ang masaklap na paghihiwalayan. Ngayong nagtagpo silang muli, makakaya kayang harapin ng dalaga ang bagong Miguel? Makakaya niya kayang harapin ang mga titig nitong puno ng pagkasuklam at mapagparusang pakikitungo sa kaniya?  

Trixie is wild and takes after her biker father. When she loses her position at her apprenticeship, she works in a club. As she dances her way to earn money, her boss asks her to do a private dance for a customer. After a lot of refusing, Trixie agrees. With the mask on, she dances for him, and after a passionate kiss and a little more, Trixie is left on the edge craving more. Not just more, but him.She leaves to visit her parents. Sitting by the pool, her dads shocked glare at her has her worried as he spots the tattoo. Her dad points it out to his best friend, Damon. Only a sickening look crosses Damon's face. Trixie soon finds out, the man who brought her pleasure just days before is the man she has always called Uncle, her fathers best friend, nearly twenty years older than her.As they start a secret affair that is meant to just be fun., someone falls in love. Unfortunately, that love puts Trixie in a difficult situation when her past shows up at her parents and uses every weakness she has. Will her dad find out about her affair with Damon? Will Damon and her dad find out the truth about the person from her past, and just how will they solve it?WARNINGS: This book contains scenes of BDSM, including but not limited to. Dominance, submission, bondage, edge play, and more. This book also includes Daddy kink. (Trixie calls Damon Daddy.) This book also contains scenes of abuse. The book also features scenes of rape. However, these scenes are blacked out and do not go into great detail.Ultimately, this book is smut, so most chapters will have some sexual references or sexual play.

WARNING: R-18| MATURE CONTENT READ AT YOUR OWN RISK Milan learned that her husband, Enver, cheated on her so she decided to leave their house without even saying goodbye. After five years, they met each other again and she became the secretary of her ex-husband whom she misses so much but she had to act as if she was already moving on and keep everything between them professionally because she already learned her lesson. But will she be able to avoid him now that Enver is willing to do everything to claim her back? Will their love be sweeter the second time around?

Sofia Kennedy Fontana was a CEO of Fontana Real Estate Company. She was a terror, feared and dangerous boss. Sa isang kadahilanan ay may Lupa siyang gustong angkinin na siya namang pag-aari ni Miles Blanco. She fell for him, Kennedy pity him. She end up saving the land for the man, pero paano kung inalok niya ito ng kasal at ang kabayaran ay pag ibig? He's just an ordinary guy, that's what she thought of him. She's not just a CEO but also a Princess, she also do illegal business. Will they end up of loving each other despite of the secrets they hide to each other?

Isang call girl si Frances. Hindi niya iyon ikinahiya sa maraming tao dahil alam niyang doon siya kumukuha ng kaniyang pantustos sa kaniyang araw-araw na pangangailangan. Bagaman sa sex at pera lang din naman ang umiikot ang buhay niya. Pero isang araw na may tumawag sa kaniyang Amerikano na nagngangalang Jony. Para sa isang gabi, paparausan siya nito, isang malaking halaga ang ibabayad nito. Hindi na nagpakipot si Frances. Pera at sex lang ang nasa isip niya at iyon ang kagustuhan niya. Bagaman, hindi niya alam na dahil sa kliyente niyang si Jony, unti-unting nagbago ang kaniyang buhay. Jony is a clingy, sweet, annoying, and wild. Ito rin ang dahilan kung bakit nalilito na siya sa kaniyang sarili dahil ang sabi nito, ito ay ang kaniyang asawa. Gayunpaman, hindi siya naniniwala. Lalo pa ay wala naman siyang naalala na naikasal siya sa isang Jony Guevara.

Pinuntahan si Camilla ng bilyonaryong si Hector Gonzalez sa bahay nila para singilin sa utang ng kanyang ama sa halagang fifty million pesos na inutang nito. Wala siyang kaalam-alam tungkol sa utang na 'yon ng kanyang ama. Wala siyang pera na pambayad dito. Isang linggo na rin na hindi umuuwi sa bahay nila kanyang ama. Pinagbantaan siya ng guwapong bilyonaryo na si Hector na kung hindi siya magbabayad ay ipakukulong niya ang ama nito. Natakot si Camilla. Nagmakaawa siya kay Hector hanggang sa bigyan siya ng chance nito. Kailangan niyang pakasalan ito kung ayaw niyang ipakukulong ang ama niya. Pumayag naman kaagad si Camilla kahit hindi niya mahal ito kaya kinasal kaagad sila ni Hector. Days had passed and she fell in love with him. Akala niya ay siya lang ang nag-iisang babae sa buhay nito ngunit hindi pala. Kasal na nga sila ngunit ang asawa niya ay palaging nasa babaeng mahal nito. It breaks her heart as she thinks of it. She realized that if it wasn't her father, she wouldn't fall in love with him and she wouldn't feel the pain of loving someone who can't love her in return. Sinisisi niya ang kanyang ama. Gusto niyang umalis sa sitwasyon na kinasasangkutan niya ngunit hindi niya magawa-gawa 'yon. She realized that maybe it's the way of paying her father's debt as she suffers the pain. Will she be able to find the happiness she deserves? Is she going to live a miserable life with him while her heart is still beating for his name every day? Is there a chance for Hector to love her in return because she's his wife already?

WARNING: R[18] STORY WITH EXTREMELY EXPLICIT/MATURE CONTENT Joaquin Antonio Jr., A young CEO, handsome, an outlet of wealth, and a certified playboy, but a good son. For him, there is no need to take women seriously. Napakarami nila at silang lahat ay lumalapit sa kanya ng kusa. Dahil marami siyang pera. Upang mapigilan and plano ng kanyang ama na ipakasal siya sa kaniyang kababata na lihim na karelasyon ng matalik niyang kaibigan, pumayag siya sa hamon nito. Ang makahanap ng babaeng pakakasalan sa loob lamang ng dalawang buwan. Dahil sa desperasyon ay naisipan niyang alukin ng kasal ang isang estranghera. Si Lara, who turned out to be the mother of his daughter na nabuntis niya apat na taon narin ang nakalilipas. Subalit, paano na lamang ang reputasyon ng kanyang ama? Ang ipinagmamalaki nitong pangalan ng kanilang pamilya na matagal nitong inalagaan gayong ang babaeng pinili niyang pakasalan ay hindi nila kauri. At ayon sa kanyang ama ay magdadala ng malaking kahihiyan sa kanilang angkan. Nakahanda ba siyang manindigan para sa nag-iisang babaeng nagpaligalig ng puso niya? Willing ba siyang kalabanin ang kaniyang ama kahit ang kapalit niyon ay ang pagkawala ng lahat ng mayroon siya at lahat ng pinaghirapan niya? Susugal ba siya para kay Lara na walang alam sa tunay niyang pagkatao? Ano nga ba ang kinabukasan ng isang pagmamahalang sa simula pa lang ay puno na ng kasinungalingan at pagpapanggap?

Eros is his name which was derived from the Greek god of love that was also known as "The Cupid". However, his name is a total opposite of him. He hates romance and all kinds of stuff which relates to passionate and intimate love. Other than that, he's also an aspiring mystery/thriller writer who is dreaming to be a famous and successful author someday. But his path to achieve his dream became mysterious, much thrilling and unexpectedly romantic when the cupid which turn out as a ghost named Shawna suddenly appeared in his room and force him to write a romance story for her.

(Inspired by the tale: Snow White and Rose Red)Rose Red had already accepted her poor life that only lives by stealing golds and money from others with her partner, Vayne. A shapeshifter from a mysterious tribe called 'Figtus' that always receives discrimination from the other people. With Vayne's shapeshifting skills and Rose Red's amazing magic power, they formed an amazing heist tandem.But things got different when her twin sister named Snow White suddenly became a crowned princess. Rose Red's life became more complicated and found herself in a conflict between blood and friendship. Because of her choice she must face consequences and challenges to seek for the truth.But to reach the truth, secrets must revealed one by one including hers.Note: I do not own the photo used on the cover. Credits to the rightful owner