Terrible Puns Novels & Stories

Jade Montana is heartbroken. After being cheated on by her good-for-nothing boyfriend, she is consumed by an all-consuming, bottomless rage, and as those feelings course through her, she discovers one important thing: she’s a killer. She’s capable of doing terrible things. On her way to nowhere, she comes across a mysterious man, one who is drop-dead gorgeous but reeks of danger. Jade soon discovers that there is more to life than she was initially taught, and that leads her down a spiral of madness and despair. The mysterious man—Felix Russell—takes her deep into the dark underground of their city, but amongst the devastation, a seed of hope grows, and it is watered by Felix, a ruthless vampire with a tender side, one that is only ever revealed to her. But as Jade begins to fall for him, she discovers that there is more to the story than he is leading on. When Felix betrays her to Gabriel Gray, the Alpha of the formidable Black Moon Pack, everything changes and her love transforms into hatred. It doesn’t help that Gabriel wants her dead, even though she is his destined mate. However, not everything is as it seems, and she discovers that Felix might not have had the worst of intentions. Her feelings toward Gabriel also start to change, and within her there is a war that is fiercer than the ongoing one, and both men would fight and die for her. The question is far from simple: Who will she choose?

Eloise Muir is a young, energetic woman. She has everything in her which makes any man kneel to her. Working in a News Firm, she had encountered many admirers and turned down their proposals elegantly. But, her one co-worker, David Cooper was reluctant to accept her refusal, hence, he kept finding every way to please her and help her in anything she wanted no matter how cold or indifferent she would act to him. After Eloise's trip to Germany, she was supposed to return alone but she returned with an unexpected boyfriend who soon turned into her loving husband. After the delightful rollercoaster of events in Eloise's life, she returned to her work as a Married Woman looking more sexy, confident, and beautiful, but she didn't know that there was someone waiting eagerly for her return. On her first day at her job as a Married Woman, Eloise and the seven members of her staff got kidnapped by none other than David. He felt betrayed by Eloise and was eager to punish her, to make her realize that no one except him could give him the best pleasure of her life. Seven Days, Seven Hostages. One Hundred and Sixty-Eight Hours, Will Eloise be able to survive in those terrible hours and days of her life? Will she be able to resist the temptation of David and betray her husband? Will she be able to make wise decisions that would save her and her colleagues' lives, or would she be drowned in David’s lustful games?

After being reborn, the first thing I do is bind myself to a transfer system and agree to my mother's proposal that the whole family splits expenses equally. It is because in my previous life, after I refuse the transfer system, my mother throws a bill at me and demands repayment. The bill lists every expense from my childhood to adulthood. There are small things like the cost of an eraser or a pencil, as well as big ones like tuition and living costs. "The total cost of raising you is one million dollars. On top of that, the money your brother needs for his wedding, car, and house are all family matters. So, we will split them equally. Taking all those into account, you need to repay us three million dollars in total." So right after graduating, I fall into a massive debt of three million dollars. I do not finish paying it off until I am 38. Just when I try to break away from my family and look for my own happiness, my parents start a livestream and curse me for being a terrible daughter. They claim that I abandon them in our hometown while running off to a big city to chase my own freedom. As a result, I face overwhelming criticism online. I fall into depression for two years, and on my 40th birthday, I accidentally fall from a building after getting drunk. When I open my eyes again, I am back to the moment when the transfer system first appears. This time, I say firmly, "Bind me to the system."

Mom was a top student at a prestigious school and had always been determined to be the best at everything. She demanded that I learn to walk by seven months, speak fluently by eighteen months, and master all addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division by the age of three. I did all of it. Yet Mom still felt it wasn’t enough. However, when my younger brother, Liam, didn’t speak until he was five, Mom clapped and cheered when he finally did, celebrating his “late-blooming brilliance”. I didn’t think anything of it. Until one day, I was wearing headphones, memorizing Spanish words, and accidentally let the sound leak out, scaring Liam. He clutched his chest and cried, saying his heart hurt. Mom’s eyes turned red as she stormed over and slapped me. Then she grabbed my ear, twisting it a full 360 degrees with all her strength. The pain in my ear was so intense that I lost all feeling, and the fear made me nauseous to the point of vomiting. Still, Mom forced the headphones back on, cranked the volume to the maximum, and locked me in the storage room to reflect. “How could I give birth to such a terrible child? You’re just jealous of Liam. No matter how much I do for you, you’ll never appreciate it! “Love listening to words, huh? Then listen all you want.” But seven days later, when she opened the door, she completely lost it.

On the way home for the holidays, my wife, Sophie Hartman, and I were caught in a terrible accident. When I opened my eyes again, we had both gone back in time to before we ever fell in love. In our previous life, we'd been married for seven years. We were polite, respectful, and distant, almost like guests sharing the same house. And all those years, she never once agreed to have a child with me. It wasn't until later that I learned the truth. Sophie had never let go of the man she once loved. This time, I chose to set her free. We quietly deleted each other's contacts, kept our distance, and walked separate paths in life. … Seven years later, she became one of the most successful traders. At a class reunion, she announced her relationship with Vincent Parker, the man she had never forgotten. When she saw that I was still single, she couldn't resist teasing me. "Lucas, I know I've always been the one you love most, the one you're proudest of, but you don't have to spend your life waiting for me." I didn't respond. I simply took my son's hand. Sophie's face went pale. Her eyes reddened as she demanded, "You said you'd love me for life, that you'd only ever have children with me!"

If you ask Olivia Marshall, she would tell you that being a billionaire's wife is not always as it seems, especially when your husband is toxic and abusive.      Olivia stays married to her first love, Sebastian Gilbert, through his abuse and infidelity for the sake of their daughter. All that changes when she hooks up with a stranger after discovering her husband's mistress.      To her greatest surprise, the stranger is no ordinary man. He is Desmond Wrightwood, a tech billionaire, and her husband's greatest rival. Desmond is charming, a good father figure and most importantly, madly in love with Olivia. What started as a one-night stand slowly blossoms into a love like nothing Olivia had ever experienced before. The new, passion filled relationship prompts Olivia to finally divorce Sebastian.      It is clear to Olivia that Desmond loves her and her daughter more than Sebastian ever did. But roses do not come without thorns. Olivia is shattered by a shocking discovery about the man who made her give love a second chance. Her hero, her daughter's new father figure, her Desmond. Olivia is terrible at letting go, but she cannot be with a man she distrusts.      Soon, Olivia suffers a great loss, leaving her shattered and depressed. Sebastian returns a changed man, begging for her forgiveness but Desmond refuses to leave her side. Olivia must choose between the man who hurt her for years, and the man who came into her life with deceit. The man she loved first and the man she loved last. To make it worse, she's choosing between brothers.     

I had just left the hospital after undergoing a dilation and curettage procedure for uterine fibroids. On the bus, I happened to encounter a woman who was crying and claiming she had menstrual cramps and a terrible stomachache, asking me to give up my seat. But I refused. I never expected the woman to be the famous internet influencer, Bella Marsh. While I was completely unprepared, she started a livestream, and the next day, I was violently attacked online and pushed onto the trending searches. Netizens even dug up the record of my procedure at the hospital. “With a uterine wall that thin, it’s obvious she has had so many failed pregnancies.” “No wonder she was so shameless and refused to give up her seat—turns out she’s a despicable woman.” The so-called righteous netizens harassed me until I fell into depression, and even my boyfriend stepped forward to accuse me of being dirty and said he wanted to break up. Unable to endure the blow, I jumped from the rooftop, while the female influencer gained tens of millions of followers and began livestream selling, earning more money than she could count. Only after my death did I learn that the influencer had been my boyfriend’s childhood crush. To boost the popularity of her livestream, she and my boyfriend had deliberately staged the entire scene. When I opened my eyes again, I had returned to the very day Bella asked me to give up my seat.

In my previous life, I was adopted by a regular family. My younger sister, Regina Capasso, was taken in by a mafia Don, resulting in her becoming the principessa of Etalia's most powerful mafia family. Unexpectedly, Regina is cast out by the Don in her third year of getting adopted. She was forced to roam the streets as a homeless person till the day she died a terrible death. I, on the other hand, got into a prestigious university thanks to my good grades. Then, I furthered my studies with my adoptive older brother, Dario Bivona. With hard work, I eventually became the rising star of the AI industry who was sought out by all. With my adoptive parents' blessings, Dario and I ended up getting married and having our own children. My life was filled with peace and happiness. After we're given a second chance at the same life, Regina makes an entirely different decision. She rushes into Dario's arms and starts calling him by his name sweetly. Then, she takes my ex-parents' hands while gazing at me gloatingly. "You should have a taste of what it feels like to be a principessa, Livia. I seriously can't endure another second in that cruel, unforgiving family!" I look at Dario expectantly, hoping that he'll say something in my defense. But he shields Regina behind him while glaring at me icily. "Stay away from my sister." In the end, I slowly make my way toward the Rolls-Royce as Regina continues to look at me smugly.

"All because you are incredibly attractive doesn't give you the right to be fucking pompous and arrogant." Red slapped her hand over her mouth but it was too late, the words were out. "You find me attractive Red." He stepped closer to her, real close. His mother and friend still watching them. "I..d..on't." She stammered. Daniel took her chin in his hand and lifted her face, "Don't even think of falling for me or getting attracted." His voice was harsh, "I am not your type and would never look your way." The slap that landed on his face wasn't expected. _______ She was the girl without a surname, a terrible con artist and also the infamous petty thief on New York streets. 21 year old Red decided to find a Job and change to be a better person, the moment she walked through those big wooden doors her life changed drastically plus the bonus of having the perfect boyfriend, Capri lorenzo. He was New York's most eligible bachelor with riches and looks to die for. Daniel Hart was a cold hearted boss who worked endlessly to keep up his perfect image. That Monday morning when she walked into his office looking like a tornado, he hated her. he knew he had to be rid of her before she ruined his life. They hated each other and all it took for their lives to change was one heartbreak, a kiss and a steamy night.

"You kill so wonderfully well, little Raven," he murmured, his voice incredibly smooth, "but you did a terrible job hiding yourself. That beautiful scent of yours... wood, jasmine, and blood. It's unmistakable." Thirteen years ago, ten-year-old Romy Hawthorne hid in the vineyard and watched the Supreme Alpha, Rowan Ashwing-Kael Vexley, pull a bloodied blade from her sister’s chest as her home burned. Now, Romy is "Viper"—a lethal, wolf-less assassin. When a twenty-million-dollar bounty drops on the man known as the Beast of Flames, she eagerly takes the job. Her mission: infiltrate his territory, plunge a silver knife into his heart, and avenge her family. But her target is a dangerously powerful Fire Lord who has spent the last decade hunting the real syndicate that murdered his fiancée. When Romy breaks into his stronghold, he doesn't find a victim, he finds the surviving little sister of the woman he lost. And to their absolute horror, she is his fated mate. Bound by an agonizing supernatural tether where every ounce of physical pain she inflicts on him is violently mirrored in her own body, Romy is completely trapped. With enemies closing in, she must make a choice: Will she fulfill her lifelong vow and kill the monster who ruined her life? Or will she surrender to the intoxicating fire of the Alpha who would burn the world down to keep her safe? #Enemies to Lovers #Fated Mates #Assassin/Alpha #Touch Her and Die #Revenge #Forced Proximity, #Misunderstanding #Hidden Identity #Steamy.