terrible puns

Dating a soon-to-be-a NFL player and an Alpha billionaire that every girl on campus would drop their panties for sounds like a dream come true, right? But I can assure you it's not! Alpha Weston told me he would never date a girl who wasn't fit the first time we met. He also said I must be a virgin since no man would want to stick it in me. Yet, despite this, we end up fake-dating each other. The reason? We both have something to gain from it...now we just have to survive this game of hearts we are playing.

Nathan Morrison is a hero who emerged victorious from a bloodbath and a general loved by the whole country. Suzanne York is a terrible woman with a horrible reputation who's undeserving of him, yet she ends up as his wife.There's another problem—some other woman holds Nathan's heart. He doesn't love Suzanne.She doesn't want to struggle and be tormented in a loveless marriage, so she throws him a divorce agreement. "Let's get divorced."Nathan can't be bothered. "I'm too busy for that."Suzanne leaves without another look back. When she appears in public again, she's now a genius scientist, philanthropic artist, and the daughter of the wealthiest man alive.She stuns the world with her identities, but Nathan remains scornful … until one day when a considerable conspiracy is unveiled."General Morrison, the woman you've loved for years is your ex-wife. You've had the wrong person this whole time!"Nathan's eyes turn red with insanity. When he finally tracks her down, almost half out of his mind, he claims, "You're the one I've always loved, my dear. Let's remarry!"

After living with her father and evil stepmother in their werewolf pack for the last year, Taylor is finally asked to return to her mother and her original pack. What she had been wanting the whole time she was living with her father. But upon her return she learns that the pack has been taken over by another pack and is under a new Alpha after the previous Alpha disappeared. She needs to adjust to a whole new pack then the one that she thought she was going home to. But she knew that her friends were there and that's what she was counting on getting her through this terrible time. Little did she know that the terrible times were just starting, and the Alpha, he wasn't the enemy that she was facing. With a lot of betrayal from the people that she trusted the most and the family that she never knew that she had, she is in for a lot of surprises and a lot of suspense and surprises that she never would have seen coming in a million years.

***BRATVA WOLVES: BOOK 1*** Kai is known as the Beast Of New York, Russian Mafia leader and Alpha of the Blood Crest pack - and he's come to claim Caterina as his mate. Betrayed on her wedding day by her own family, then mated to the Alpha of an enemy pack, Caterina wonders if she was born under a bad moon. Terrible rumours surround Kai and his pack of bloodthirsty wolves, but as Caterina gets to know her mate better and realises that he is not the monster he is made out to be. So what exactly turned Kai into the beast he's known as? And why does the mention of prophecies seem to anger him more and more? *** He sniffs the air, then his blue eyes meet mine and shimmered that deep crimson again. As soon as our eyes meet, I feel something similar to a string pulling taut. My core throbs with a need I have never felt before as his eyes bore into mine. My heart pounds like a drumline in my chest, so loud that I am sure he could hear it. He bares his fangs in a delicious, devious grin and walks towards me, his stare knocking the wind out of me. It takes everything in me to not go to him and throw myself at his feet in submission. What was this? Why did I feel attracted to him, even when he had just ripped a young Betas throat out? He then lifts his hand and points to me. “I've come to claim my mate.” His words brought me back to reality at a screeching halt. HIS WHAT?! Book 1 - Alpha Kai Book 2 - Konstantin: The Heartless Beta

She was born from rape and took her mother’s life at birth.Her relatives detested her; they treated her badly and gave her no name. They wanted nothing to do with her.Girl, they called her for eighteen years, until it became the only name she knew.When her family who should have taken care of her found themselves in big financial trouble, the only hope of getting themselves out of the terrible mess they had created was to send her to their pack leader’s house to work to repay their debt.Girl hated what they were doing to her and was clueless about what was about to happen to her while she worked in the Alpha's home.

Dearest gentle readers, This is NOT YOUR regular BILLIONAIRE ROMANCE. PROCEED WITH CAUTION Jason Rodrigues did not want a wife, he considered women as tools to be used and discarded until he is stuck between obeying his father’s will or losing the company. The rule to him was simple… find a girl, make her a surrogate and have her bear his heir but nothing is ever simple in any love story. Elizabeth turns Jason’s world upside down and leaves him wondering if having a wife is such a terrible idea. <<>> Lucien Rodrigues is a playboy and unlike his brother, he refuses to abide by any rule until he crosses the path of formidable fashion designer, Mara Sinclair. Now he wonders if the player has become the played instead. <<>> Diana Rodrigues wants out of the glamour life. Living under the shadow of both her brothers have not exactly been an easy feat for her and so she escapes to Italy to start her life afresh only she is unaware of the danger that lurks in the form of Dante Russo who will stop at nothing to avenge his brother and wreck havoc on the Rodrigues family. And what better way to begin than defiling their little princess, Diana.

“I Colton Stokes reject you Harper Kirby as my mate” When Harper's fated mate, and future beta of her pack cruelly rejects her on her 18th birthday, before mysteriously changing his mind, she must decide if she is willing to risk her wolf to accept his rejection and truly break the fated bond. It is only when she flees her pack, leaving her family and friends behind, does she think that she is finally safe from the terrible events. But fate has other ideas, and ten years later Harper finds herself back in her old pack as an Elite Warrior for the Supernatural Council, to investigate the new invading Alpha with a reputation for being stone cold and ruthless. And her former mate, now Beta of the pack, is determined to get her back. Things are only further complicated when she discovers the new Alpha is her second chance mate. Can Harper investigate her new Alpha mate? And what does the Beta know that makes him so hell bent on taking Harper all for himself? Devastating betrayals and deep rooted secrets that rock Harper's world and challenge her belief in who she really is, are revealed in the first book in the Divine Order Series.

Even the coldest heart would soon grow warm if she kept holding on to it. That was what she believed. That was why she became his unloved placeholder of a wife. Unfortunately, all her devotion only led to a heartless divorce. “She’s awake now,” he told her. “Step down and step away, you miserable knock-off.”Then, he left. When he came back, it was because he needed her to do something only an impostor could do: go to jail for his dream girl’s crime. Deirdre McKinnon was condemned to perdition. She lost her baby before it was born. She lost her face to violence. She lost the ability to see. It was two months of a hell-like nightmare. At last, something died inside her heart. Two years later, she found herself another man, but when Brendan Brighthall met her by pure happenstance, a new feeling was born in his heart: jealousy. There were no means too terrible, no scheme too underhanded—not if it meant he’d possess Deirdre’s heart again. And yet, she simply refused to love him anymore.“What do you want me to do, Deirdre McKinnon?! What must I do to go back to the good old days?” His eyes turned red. “I’ll give you everything I have!”“You gave me a copper trinket two years ago. It was a sorry excuse for a wedding ring, and yet I cared for it as though it was the most precious jewel in the world…“But now? Nothing you can give would be even remotely worthwhile. Not even you.”

Mia thought the best way to get revenge against her terrible ex was to get sexual pleasure from someone else. Preferably, a stranger! So she stalked the sexiest man she could find at the party. Once he cornered her, She made him a deal. Mia had no idea that the man she made a deal with was a possessive Billionaire who could make or break her. He wanted more after their passionate night together and decided she was going to be Entangled with him for life.

He is a 10 but he is a decade older than me, my brother’s best friend, a therapist who wants to counsel me and... he likes to hurt little girls like me. “What were you doing this morning?” “I was meditating.” He is right. I am a terrible liar. Aiden raised his eyebrows. “Is that so?” He waited for my answer, crossing his arms over his chest. I got distracted by the way his biceps bulged. He noticed me staring. I glanced down at my lap, twiddling my thumbs. “Y-yes, Doctor Aiden, I was meditating and I-I focused on my breath like you taught me—” “Why are you lying to me, Ivy?” My head snapped at him. “I-I am not lying.” Aiden tilted his head and my throat went dry when he said, “Then why did I hear your voice moaning my name when you orgasmed with your fingers inside you?" He is her first love. She is his best friend's little sister. Will a chance reunion lead to true love? I was a good girl. An honor student. A dutiful daughter, sister and a sweet girlfriend to my boyfriend until I found him in my best friend’s bed. I didn’t want goody-two-shoe nice boys who gave me empty promises. What I wanted was a man who wouldn’t hurt me. When I found my brother’s best friend, Aiden Stone, with only a towel around his hot Greek body dripping wet from a shower, I decided that what I wanted, what I had been wanting for years, was him. The only problem? He is a decade older than me, my brother’s best friend, a therapist who wants to counsel me and... he likes to hurt little girls like me.