Wheelchair Jokes

My cousin, Sonia Sanders, only trusts OmniGo Maps, or OmniGo, for everything. While waiting for the bus during a trip, the bus that we are supposed to get on pulls into the station. However, Sonia grabs my arm and says, "Amanda, OmniGo says that our bus is only arriving in another ten minutes. This is not our bus!" I watch helplessly as the bus pulls out of the station, ultimately making me miss my flight and forcing me to pay double the price for another ticket back home. Once, after work, Sonia sees the green arrow on OmniGo and floors the gas pedal at a road intersection. She says confidently, "OmniGo says it's supposed to be a green light! That means this traffic light is wrong!" I look at the red light in horror. Before I can stop her, a vehicle driving ordinarily past the intersection crashes right into our car. In the end, my legs have to be amputated, and I become wheelchair-bound, while Sonia only suffers a mild concussion and a fracture. One rainy day, Sonia calls me an Uber to go to my follow-up at the hospital, but she sets the pickup point at a location that is flooded a third of a mile away. I try to change the pickup point to my home, but she snatches my phone away and says, "OmniGo says that this pickup point is highly recommended for disabled people to board. You can't just change the pickup point as you like!" As a result, I fall into a puddle, wheelchair and all. Sonia doesn't even turn back to look at me and leaves me behind. Because of the rain and the prolonged soaking of my wounds in the dirty puddle, I develop a severe infection, which then leads to multiple organ failure. Despite being rushed to the emergency unit afterward, I ultimately die from the infection. When I open my eyes again, I realize that I'm standing at the bus station again. Sonia taps on her phone and leans closer to me, showing me the details on her phone. "Look, Amanda, OmniGo says that our bus isn't arriving for another ten more minutes."

The fearsome Romano family has made an announcement. Whoever among me and my sister, Vivienne Everhart, can give birth to the first grandson of the Romano bloodline shall inherit the Romanos' wealth that's worth tens of billions of dollars. Also, said grandson will be the next Don of the Romano family. In my previous life, Vivienne had married Dominic Romano, a healthy and strong young man of the Romano family. My parents were the one who had arranged for this marriage to happen. I, on the other hand, got married to Julian Romano, a gloomy man who was confined to his wheelchair due to his crippled legs. In less than a year after our marriage, Julian had regained his ability to walk once again. At the same time, I got pregnant with the first grandson of the Romano family. As such, Vivienne got abused by Dominic to the point that she completely lost her marbles. That was how she became the laughingstock of the rich socialites of the upper crust. On the day I was about to go into labor, Vivienne stabbed my belly with a blade. Then, she grabbed me before jumping off a tall building with me in her arms. When I open my eyes again, I see Vivienne snatching away the bouquet made of blue roses that's given to me by Julian. "I want to marry Julian!" "Vivienne, how could you snatch Isabella's bouquet away?" As soon as Vivienne receives the fancy blue rose bouquet, she freezes in place when she hears our father scolding her. After Dad grabs the bouquet from Vivienne's hands, he passes it to me before saying, "Isabella, you have a healthy body. Julian might be handicapped, but at least he's pretty talented when it comes to running his business." Then, he pats Vivienne on the head lovingly. "Vivienne, you're in poor health. Marrying Dominic is your best option." As I stare at the blue rose bouquet in my hands as well as the wedding gown I'm currently wearing, I dig my nails into my palm forcefully. Finally, I realize that I've gotten reborn.

Matteo Montenegro is a 32 year old businessman. Isa siya sa pinaka kilala at maimpluwensyang tao pagdating sa larangan ng negosyo. At his age ay hindi na halos mabilang lahat ng mga negosyong naipatayo nito mapa loob o labas man ng bansa. "What?! Siya si Matteo Montenegro?" Agad naagaw ang aking atensyon sa kadarating lang na lalaki at saktong huminto ito sa aming harapan. Freya, my twin sister looked at the man with disgusts. "You've got to be kidding me, Mum! Ipapakasal nyo 'ko sa isang lumpo?!" Mabilis na tinakpan ni Mama ang bibig ng kambal ko sabay pinanlakihan niya ito ng mata. "Watch your mouth, Freya. Hindi kung sino-sinong lalaki lang 'yang kaharap mo." May halong diing saad ng aming ina tsaka ito muling humarap dun sa lalaki. "Pasensya na po kayo sa inasal ng anak ko, Mr. Montenegro, nagulat lamang po siya." Hindi umimik iyung lalaki at diretso lang ang tingin nito sa kawalan. Palihim ko naman itong pinasadahan ng tingin. He's dashingly handsome. From his deep, blue eyes, thick brows, pointed nose down to his firm jawline. Walang tapon. He's currently sitting on a wheelchair habang nasa likod naman niya ang isang matangkad na lalaki na naka all black attire, must be his bodyguard. It's obvious that he can't walk. "Wait, are you blind?" Ang diretsong tanong ng kambal ko habang naka kunot ang noo. Muli ay hindi naman umimik iyung lalaki kaya ang bodyguard na niya ang sumagot. "Yes, my boss is blind but-" "Oh, come on! Lumpo na ta's bulag pa? Ganyang klasi ng lalaki ang nais mong ipakasal sa'kin? What kind of a mother are-" "Enough, Freya!"