Novel & Cerita When I Was Gone The Regret Began

I lost her through a thousand small betrayals across the eighteen years we’ve known each other. A waiter carrying dozens of trays nearly crashes into me, but I barely notice because I’ve been moving through life in a haze, barely registering anything around me. Even with the twins, I had to leave them with Mom because I couldn’t be present. I’m too lost in the storm I created to be the father they need. That’s the thing about regret. It’s not just an emotion; it’s a beast with teeth and claws and it feeds on you from the inside, leaving nothing behind.

he insisted, desperation creeping into his tone. “What’s there to regret now? Other than regretting that, I fell for you. I regret the day I met you. I regret the day I started falling for you! I regret everything, Julian. Everything! I wish I could forget you forever. I wish I could!” I yelled, my voice cracking as I glanced at Jane and Jason, who had begun to stir. “I regret our union, which brought about these innocent little cuties!” I added, my heart breaking further.

I heard it when I was seven years old when I saw the first dead person I'd ever seen: eyes open, blood pooling on the barn floor. In my profession, regret is easy to come by. They piled up, each sapping a man's resolve. I don't have many regrets; until now, I only had one following me. I regretted Dianna when she married my uncle Vincent. Recently, and more than that, I regret signing for Gallena. I want her twin. On my bed. Stick on the wall. Kneel.

The grocery store keeps moving, carts rolling, scanners beeping, life continuing without me. I stay on the floor. Staring at the cover. At the family I threw away. At the life I’ll never touch. At the daughter who will never know my name. And for the first time, the regret isn’t abstract. It’s visceral. It’s bone-deep. It’s a hole in my chest where a father should be. I lost her. I lost them. I lost everything that mattered. And now it’s gone. Forever. I stand slowly, legs shaking, vision blurred.

Regret. I was struck by grief and regretted so many things. I regretted not stopping her when she left to find a cure for me. I regretted having that fight with her before she left. I regretted that I didn't go with her as my instinct told me to. I regretted ever being born. There were a lot of things I regretted and hated myself for and the grief pushed me to silence. I wasn't aware of my state until I was abruptly awakened.

I had spent so much time trying to become the perfect wife for a man who never asked me to be one that I’d forgotten to become someone for myself. So I started there. With myself. Three years had passed since I walked out of the Deneuve mansion. Three years since I'd last seen Gerald. Three years since I'd heard his voice. And for the first year, I thought I'd never stop missing him. I felt like I would die without him That is how sickening love unreciprocated it. It hurts so bad that I don’t even wish for my enemy to experience it. Those years were the worst years of my life, but it shaped me to be who I am now

do you regret me? are you gone forever? Nothing came back. Not a single read receipt. I missed him so violently it felt like someone had cracked my ribs open and left the cavity empty. Every heartbeat echoed in a hollow chest. He had kissed me like the world was ending. Pressed those three words into my mouth like they were the last ones he’d ever say. Then he walked away and took every star with him. My knees finally gave out. I slid down the door until my back hit cold wood, phone slipping from my fingers and clattering on the concrete, and i didn’t pick it up.

Holidays I had shortened to return early to offices that did not require my physical presence but that I had used, I understood now, as the distance I had installed between myself and anything that required me to be present in a way that my father had taught me was the same as being exposed. Seraphina had built a life inside the architecture I had provided and I had walked through it occasionally, approved of it distantly, and called that a marriage. And now she was leaning into another man's arm outside a gym at seven forty-three in the evening and laughing with her whole face and I was sitting in a parked car across the street trying to find something dirty in his tax records. The regret c

“I know what I did was unforgivable, but I never stopped thinking about you... about all of you. I’ve regretted it every single day of my life.” “Regretted it?” I repeated harshly. This woman needed to be awarded an Oscar for her performance. Damn, she's good. I scoffed, shaking my head, unable to hold back the bitterness that leaked into my words. “That’s it? You think that’s enough? You regretted it for twenty-three years? You never once showed up here for the past twenty-three years, and you're telling me that you regretted leaving?” “I—I want to be a part of your lives again, Van. I was stupid back then, and didn't know what I had until it was gone,” she pleaded, taking another step clos

My hands started shaking every time I picked up the phone or answered the door. I kept thinking it was Adam. That he was calling me or showing up at my house... Each time I was disappointed. It seemed Adam had decided to stay out of my life for good. I regretted everything. I regretted letting things start between us. I regretted allowing myself to fall for him. I regretted not letting things go further when I had the chance. But most of all, I regretted losing him. The emptiness he left behind followed me everywhere, and each day without him felt heavier than the last.