When You Stop Reaching Out First Novels & Stories

“Then don’t.” “I have to limit it.” “How?” I hesitate. Because saying it out loud makes it real. “I have to close the connection,” I say. His brow furrows. “What does that mean?” “It means cutting this space off from everything else,” I explain. “No threads. No links. No way for the void to reach beyond this point.” “And that’s good, right?” “Yes.” He exhales slightly. “Then do it.” I don’t move. Because that’s not the full truth.

he asked as he still held me and I wasn’t too sure how I felt since he doesn’t seem like the type to show affection like this. I took a deep breath, “I don’t know… I don’t know anymore.” “It’s okay if you’re not sure now,” he said and he slowly let go of me; maybe realizing that he’s been holding me. “I hate it because, before when I tried to do what everyone was doing it never worked out and it felt like people just didn’t want me around.” I tried to explain. “That’s why I stopped myself from reaching out to people because it was safer. I just want it to stop.”

" If you feel things are too much to handle, I want you to have an out—a word—that you can say to me, and I will stop immediately.." I tilted my head. I guess that made sense since I had no idea what I was about to get myself into. Even if the thought of Rashid having complete control over me turned me on to no end, it made me feel good that he wanted me to be able to tell him to stop. "Why can't I say 'stop'?" "Sometimes when people say stop, they don't actually mean it." Oh. People really did that sort of thing? I nodded anyway, disregarding my confusion. "What kind of word?"

Don’t hesitate to reach out. Her unwavering support was a balm, an anchor, but I felt the weight of the world pressing down on me. I couldn’t bring myself to reach out—every part of me wanted to keep her safe from the chaos that had become my life. Me: Thanks, I really appreciate it. Just need some time. Jenna: Okay, but don’t shut me out, Clara. I’m worried about you. I took a shaky breath, staring at the screen as the conversation faded. She was right—I was pushing everyone away. The struggle to maintain a semblance of control was taking its toll, and something had to break.

“That’s not an excuse but it is a starting point.” He blinks, confusion flickering. “I don’t understand.” “People who don’t care don’t ask these questions. They don’t worry about whether they can change. They don’t break down when they realize they’ve hurt someone they love.” I squeeze his fingers firmly. “The fact that you’re sitting here, agonizing over whether you can be better, tells me you can be.” “But what if” “Stop.” I cut him off softly but firmly. “Stop catastrophizing. Stop looking for ways this could go wrong. Just... be here with me, right now. Tell me what you’re feeling.”

For the first time in years, I stopped waiting. It happened gradually. It started so gradually that I didn't notice it at first. One day I stopped checking the clock every fifteen minutes. The next day I stopped texting Ryan to ask when he would be home. A few days later, I stopped leaving dinner in the oven for him. Then I stopped falling asleep on the couch waiting for the sound of his car pulling into the driveway. I simply stopped. And surprisingly, the world didn't end. Ryan still came home late. Our house was still quiet.

“With her. And with yourself.” Honest. The word feels foreign, sharp and jagged in my mouth. But maybe that’s the only way forward. For the first time in years, I stop running.

I’d learnt a lot from our friendship, and our teetering, borderline relationship. “Talk to her,” I’d suggested in the end. “There’s no harm in feeling it out with the one person you really want to talk to. I think most people’s problems come from miscommunication. If you don’t ask, you don’t get, at the end of the day,” I’d added with a shrug.

Aphrodite said. I smile at her. “Thank you for your understanding. Uhh, but I am not ready to open it up for now. Sorry” I said. I know that the first step to gaining friends is to share some of your pieces of information with her so that both of you know how each other. But, As I’ve said, I am not yet ready to open up about my past. It was too dark for me to open it up. “Oh, it’s fine. You don’t have to say sorry. I understand. What’s important is, that I met you. I finally have a friend” she said happily.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes. What do I do? How do I stop this? I open my phone and see another message from Geoffrey. “We need to meet up. You can’t ignore me forever.”