Workplace Quotes Funny

After landing a major project for the company, I receive a ring from my girlfriend, Kiera Ripley. I happily share a picture of it on my socials, thinking she was finally going to announce our engagement. But Kiera's newly hired assistant, Trevor Horton, suddenly slaps me hard and overturns my entire work desk. "You're a director, for God's sake! Don't you feel the least bit ashamed, stealing the present my wife gave me?" Trevor snaps. Not only does Kiera not retort to Trevor's words, but she even says I am not fit for my position as director of the tech department. She then announces to all the staff that Trevor will be taking over the project I just secured for the company. Only then do I realize that the person Kiera wants to publicly announce as her boyfriend isn't me, but Trevor instead. All the staff immediately raise their phones to record me, enjoying the spectacle that is my misfortune. But instead of getting angry, I shove my nametag into Trevor's hands and say, "Since Mr. Horton will be taking over the project, you can take over my position as director as well. I wish you two a long and happy life together!"

I was the firm’s star. The one they called for the impossible cases. My latest miracle? The “Titan Project” patent case. I made the firm a billion dollars. My cut was supposed to be a two-million-dollar bonus. But today, a fresh-faced intern waltzed off with it. I thought payroll had made a mistake and stormed straight into the senior partner's office. “Preston. My two-million-dollar bonus. Tell me there’s been a mistake.” Preston didn’t even bother to look up. “Victoria, I’ve looked into it. We won this case because of Chloe’s client management.” “She was schmoozing clients. Late-night golf games. Weekend yacht parties. While you were what, exactly?” “You never showed your face outside the courtroom. Teamwork is everything.” I almost laughed. It was absurd. “She’s a rookie who can’t even recite the rules of discovery.” “Enough!” Preston cut me off. “The firm doesn’t make mistakes. I see what everyone contributes.” “If you're not happy, you can prove your worth somewhere else.” He tossed a severance agreement on the desk. My heart went cold. I signed it on the spot. Before I left, I got the last word. “Preston, next time the firm has a real fight on its hands, you’d better call your social butterfly, Chloe. Don’t bother me.” He blew a perfect smoke ring, smirking right through it. Unfazed. Soon later, my phone blew up. It was him. Begging me to come back and save his ass.

My fiance's precious childhood crush, Amber Sweeney, was in a political union with the infamous Julian Grant, heir to the Grant family empire and a notorious playboy. Unable to stand the thought of Amber being "sacrificed", Ryan Carter barged into her wedding to stop it. They registered their marriage that day, making headlines across the city. The whole of D.C.'s elite waited to watch me and the Grant family become the city's biggest joke. What they didn't expect was that on the very next day, Julian would roll up to my company in his high-key sports car, leaning against the hood like he had all the time in the world. "Your fiance stole my bride. You'll be repaying that debt by marrying me. Fair trade, right?" I stared at his blazing red hair and wild grin, and smiled back coolly. "Sounds fair to me."

At the pack's anniversary dinner party, the Alpha, Matt White, told us to write down the gifts we wanted. He would make sure every request was fulfilled. When it was my turn, the newly arrived intern suddenly snatched the paper and pen out of my hands. "Mr. White works so hard managing the pack. We can't let him spend money on us! You shouldn't write down your dream gift," she said. I ignored her, grabbed the list back, and calmly wrote down one item: a washing machine. Peyton immediately flew into a rage and splashed the champagne on the table straight onto me. "I told you not to write anything down! As a Beta, how can you be so inconsiderate of Mr. White?" My coat was completely soaked, and I looked utterly disheveled. I couldn't hold back my anger anymore. I flung the list straight at her face without mercy. She instantly covered her face and screamed, "How dare you hit me! Do you know who my father is? He's the Alpha King! Even Mr. White has to be polite to him. I'll have you kicked out of the pack for laying a hand on me!" I froze. I was the Alpha King's biological niece. My uncle didn't even have a partner, so how would he have a grown daughter?

In this world, there are more ways to deal with a problem than the problem itself. That applies just as well to cheating men. Rich men, especially, will go to absurd lengths just to have more women in their lives. There's no trick too low, no scheme too shameless. Take my boss, for example. He handed over his stunning mistress to me. Honestly, I suspected he couldn't perform in bed, because she came into my bedroom night after night.

David meet Daniele while graduating from the seminary. He had long secretly admired Danielle, his favourite. Many women tried to entice David and made up amazing stories to keep his attention. Not because everyone likes her, but rather because she is funny, straightforward, gorgeous, and intelligent. Daniele has become everyone's favorite. Daniele has always fared extraordinarily well on tests and in class evaluations. She receives bullying from both her male and female young peers as a result of her decision to forgo makeup in favor of a comedic appearance. Daniele trained as a psychiatrist and a nun. Her superiors support her, and her friends envy her. She has been the target of plotting because she maintains her purity for the Lord while remaining untouched by human behavior and viewpoints. As a born-again Christian believer, Daniele found unforeseen challenges that led her to meet David. However, she has not yet tasted genuine love. She evolved into an emancipated lady and a modernized nun, which affected her siblings. David appeals to Daniele and she falls in love with him for these reasons. Many women claim for David but he usually denied. Daniele learns how to love David with all of her heart. David admitted that Daniele was his fate. Unexpectedly, the marriage minister offers them the quick union he had suggested. It matches David because he already has financial issues and his mother has been diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. As they are ready to go back home, they both decided to have children. They go on a secret trip deciding to have children abroad. Daniele suffered when all of her children disappeared, and David had to be following the laws. She resumes her profession as well as becomes a church worker until her children return safe and sound.  

อธิคมและภาณินี วิริยนันท์ นักมานุษยวิยาได้ให้กำเนิดบุตรสาวชื่อแก้วเก้า ขณะที่ทั้งสองไปทำงานวิจัยและค้นพบโบราณสถานบริเวณลุ่มน้ำกาหลงในอดีต เมื่องานวิจัยเสร็จสิ้นทั้งสองได้ย้ายไปทำงานที่สุราษฎร์ธานี แก้วเก้าเรียนจนจบ ม.ปลาย พ่อและแม่ได้ย้ายมาทำงานที่กรุงเทพฯ คืนแรกที่ “บ้านวิริยนันท์” ริมคลองมอญ แก้วเก้าได้พบกับชายคนหนึ่งแต่งกายโบราณเขาเรียกแก้วเก้าว่า เจ้านางแก้วเก้าเนาวรัตน์ขัติยนารีศรีเวียงเชียงรุ้งหรือเจ้านางน้อย แก้วเก้าเรียกเขาว่า “คุณน้า” แก้วเก้ารับแสดงละครเวทีแทนนักแสดงที่ป่วยกระทันหัน ทำให้ได้รู้จักกับเจ้าองค์อินทร์ ณ แมนรัตน์ แก้วเก้าไม่ชอบที่เขาพูดดูถูกเธอตอนซ้อมละคร แต่พอเจ้าองค์อินทร์เสนอจะติวสอบเข้ามหาวิทยาลัยให้ แก้วเก้ายอมตกลง “คุณน้า” เริ่มแสดงพลังในทางร้ายมากขึ้น เลอสรวง ณ แมนรัตน์ สมิธ ลูกผู้น้องของเจ้าองค์อินทร์เดินทางมาจากอังกฤษเพื่อรักษาตัวที่ไทยในสภาพเจ้าชายนิทราจากอุบัติเหตุรถยนต์ แก้วเก้ากับครอบครัวถูกเชิญไปร่วมงานเลี้ยงของคุ้ม ณ แมนรัตน์ ที่เชียงราย ได้พบกับเลอสรวงที่นั่งรถเข็นและยังไม่สามารถพูดจาสื่อสารได้ เธอทำให้เลอสรวงฟื้นความทรงจำแต่เป็นความทรงจำของเจ้าขวัญฟ้าในอดีตชาติ...

"Isa lang naman ang pangarap ko, ang makatagpo ako ng isang lalaking seseryosohin ako, 'yong handang mahalin at yakapin ang mga kalokohan ko.

During the ten years since I was found and brought to my biological family, Sonia Baxter, the girl who took my place, and I have been as close as real sisters. Even Mom says that Sonia cares more about me than a real sister would. I once swore I'd give my life to protect our special family of four. When Sonia is rushed into emergency surgery with a ruptured cerebral aneurysm, I am in my office, calmly practicing a basic suturing technique on a surgical simulator. On the screen, the robotic arm threads the needle with such precision that it looks like a work of art. A few minutes later, my boyfriend, Oliver Lyons, slams open the office door and shouts at me, "Amelia Baxter! Sonia's in critical condition. Only your micro-dissection skills can save her! Every expert in the hospital is waiting for you! We've got less than an hour before the window closes!" He looks at me with hopeful eyes. I'm the only person in the country capable of performing a surgery this complex. My hands are even known as the "Hands of God". However, I simply reply with a hum and continue fiddling with the model. Suddenly, my parents rush in. Mom grabs my arm and cries out, "Amelia! That's your sister in there! How could you just stand by and watch her die?" I gently pull away from her and hold my right hand out in front of them. This hand, which had once created countless medical miracles, is now trembling slightly. "Unfortunately, since yesterday, I've been showing symptoms of essential tremor. Dad, Mom… this hand is ruined."

After two years of development, my game finally launched successfully. My wife had promised me a $75,000 bonus, but instead, she gave the entire $750,000 payout to her male secretary, Wayne. All she tossed me was a $50 grocery coupon. "You're just a stay-at-home husband," she said casually. "You don't spend much. Go buy some groceries and cook dinner." I stared at her in disbelief. "That money is for our son's transplant surgery," I said. "If it's delayed for even a few days, he'll die." Her expression did not change. "He's weak. If he dies, he dies," she said flatly. "At least you won't bring any more bad luck into the office and pass it on to Wayne." She turned away, her tone instantly brightening as she talked about taking Wayne out that night to celebrate with a lavish dinner worth tens of thousands of dollars. In that instant, my heart froze. She had forgotten one thing. The game might be registered under her name, but I still held the core encryption key. I picked up the phone and called a rival company. "You've been trying to get Genyxis's core technology for a long time, haven't you?" I asked calmly. "All I want is $75,000, and it’ll be yours.”