Yo Mama So Old Jokes

Penelope was surprised by her best friend Anastacia when she announced that she is engaged to her boyfriend that she met just 6 months ago. Not knowing anything about the guy and she even saw him for a few times, from her own heartbreak experienced she suggested to her friend she’ll gonna check first his background and anything. Bewildered of what she saw while spying her best friend’s boyfriend she takes a video of it and decided to upload in social media to teach the man a lesson. Unfortunately, the person on the video was not her best friend's boyfriend but his twin. Not knowing that she’ll be the one who will be punish not only because of the video but in someway her heart will going to be involved too.

BLURB: Judge Elias Reid Perez Salviejo; virgin wrecker, innocent hooker. Walang humihindi sa kaniya. He could easily capture every woman's heart regardless of their age because of his cool personality. Pero wala siyang sineseryoso. Para sa kaniya, tama na ang isang gabing puno ng aliw at pantasya. Vhanessa Anne Dizon; old maid at palaging kinakantyawang malapit na sa expiration. Ang masaklap pa, isa siya sa mga babaeng tinaguriang NBSB, o no boyfriend since birth. Hindi sa takot siyang magmahal, ayaw niya lang na maiwan sa bandang huli. Ngunit, nang pagkatuwaan si Vhanessa ng dalawang kaibigan, hindi niya akalaing mahuhulog siya sa kamay ni Elias. Ang lalaking ni sa hinagap ay hindi niya pingarap.

I'm an heiress who's been bound to a gossip system. Everyone reads my mind on my first day back home after being reunited with my family. "Mom sure has done a good job of maintaining her beauty. It's no wonder she became an OnlyFans streamer after divorcing Dad." My mother is about to berate me for something, but she pales and stops when she hears my thoughts. I glance at the fake heiress, who's weeping pitifully. "My, she's pregnant. Is it John's or Zach's?" My two brothers exchange odd looks. Then, my father arrives. I cluck my tongue. "Oh, it's Dad's."

Some lines aren't meant to be crossed. We cross them anyway. A struggling artist signs a contract to become a billionaire's live-in muse, in exchange for her to surrender her body, and even her soul. A college student watches his best friend's father through the window. The father watches back. And puts on a show. A therapist knows every trigger point of his patient's body. Late-night sessions become something far less professional. A man confesses his darkest desires to a priest who's bound by vows to only listen. The priest's restraint shatters. A photographer's lens captures more than boudoir photos. Eventually, he puts down the camera. Two stepbrothers' best friends steal moments in a house full of people who can't know. The risk makes it hotter. A student loses a dare and brings a vibrator to her strictest professor's class. He hacks it. Control it and own her. Two rival lawyers hate each other in court. In hotel rooms, they work out their aggression the only way that satisfies. This isn't romance. This is an obsession collection not for the faint hearted. GET WET. GET WILD. GET LOST IN THE FORBIDDEN.

El día que Sofía Mendoza perdió a su bebé, Diego Villarreal andaba festejando que su primer amor había vuelto al país. Tres años entregándose y acompañándolo, y para él no había sido más que tener una empleada doméstica en casa. A Sofía se le rompió el corazón y decidió de una vez por todas que se iba a divorciar. Todos sus conocidos sabían que Sofía era de esas mujeres pegajosas, de las que no te puedes quitar de encima fácilmente. —Te apuesto que en un día Sofía ya va a estar de vuelta, suplicando como siempre. Diego respondió: —¿Un día? Eso es demasiado, yo le doy máximo medio día. Desde el momento en que se divorció, Sofía se prometió no mirar atrás jamás. Se propuso a construir una nueva vida, a retomar la carrera profesional que había dejado de lado, y también a conocer personas nuevas. Fueron pasando los días y Diego ya no volvió a ver ni rastro de Sofía en la casa. De repente, él se llenó de pánico. En un evento empresarial, por fin, la vio, rodeada de un montón de gente. Sin pensarlo dos veces, se lanzó hacia ella. —¡Sofía! ¿Cuándo vas a dejar de hacer drama? Alejandro Montoya, el hermano de Diego, apareció de la nada, protegiéndola, lo empujó para quitárselo de encima y le habló con una frialdad que daba miedo. —No te atrevas a tocar a tu cuñada. Diego nunca había querido de verdad a Sofía, pero para cuando se dio cuenta de que sí la amaba, ya no había espacio para él en la vida de ella.

En la entrega de premios del Concurso Mundial de Diseño de Joyería, mi hermanastra, Sandra, se llevó el gran premio. Usó los diseños que me robó. Lo que no sabía era que el mayor patrocinador del evento era Jude Moretti. El Padrino de la familia Moretti. Un monstruo sediento de sangre, marcado por una explosión, un hombre del que dicen que nunca podrá tener hijos. ¿Y el gran premio? Convertirse en la esposa del Padrino. Esa noche, los hombres de Moretti, todos de negro, entregaron un contrato de matrimonio con ribetes de oro. Habían venido por la "diseñadora genio". Mi prometido, Marco, entró en pánico y llevó a Sandra a Las Vegas para salvarla. Se casaron esa noche. Con el matrimonio hecho, Sandra regresó pavoneándose, vestida con mi bata de seda. Mostró el anillo en su dedo y los chupetones por todo su cuello. —Marco es mío ahora —ronroneó—. ¿Qué vas a hacer, Odessa? El Padrino solo te da un día. Si no te casas con él, la Familia tendrá que apaciguarlo. Eso significa enviarte al barrio rojo. Venderte a la clase de psicópata que se excita con cosas rotas. Ella estaba equivocada. Yo tenía otra opción. Encontré a mi padre y a mi madrastra, ambos luchando por lidiar con el contrato. —Lo haré —dije—. Me casaré con el Padrino.

The newly hired genius programmer was a proud woman who always thought she could turn the entire industry on its head. When an investor tried to pressure her into drinking, she flipped the table and slapped him across the face. "My worth is in my programming skills, not my ability to network. Asking me to drink with you is an insult." Enraged, Clint Warner immediately withdrew the eighty-million investment agreement. He even swore he would never work with us again. As the Head of Product, I scrambled to apologize. The situation was only salvaged after I drank so much that I ended up hospitalized. … Later, I complained to the boss and demanded that he discipline the new hire. To my shock, he dismissed the matter. "If the employee causes any problem, it's because the supervisor failed in their duty. The promised million-dollar dividend bonus is cancelled. Take this as your warning." Fed up, I wrote down Mary Hansen's name on the Counseling-Out List. She couldn't care less. "I have abilities you’ll never match, unlike a scheming bootlicker like you. If anyone tries to go after me, the project will be halted. Don't come crying to me when everything collapses." I did not argue with her then. However, when the Counseling-Out List was announced, I found my own name on it. The boss claimed it was a mistake to force me to leave. Then he promoted Mary to my position and even granted her the authority of a vice president. "You were only great because of the company's support. Mary's not the same. She's young and truly talented. She’ll lead us to greater heights." With a cold smirk on my face, I made my way to our competitor, taking the crucial piece of our company's technology with me.

My husband, Gavin Chapman, is giving his secretary, Natasha Gardner, exactly what she wants. He's making her his wife. To pull it off, he fakes a lab accident, pretends to have amnesia, and brings her home. In his office, Gavin wraps his arms around Natasha and murmurs indulgently, "Not just Mrs. Chapman. Even if you want to pretend to be the vice president for a week, I'll let you." My eyes dim, but I let the lie go on. The next day, at a press conference, Gavin holds Natasha's hand and tells the world she's his real wife. He even threatens to kick me out of the company and take over all my research data. Dozens of cameras swivel toward me, waiting for my outburst. But I stay silent and simply sign the termination papers. Gavin doesn't know that the pharmaceutical project he believes will be done in seven days isn't quite finished. There's still one final step, and I'm the only one who knows how to do it.

When my Alpha mate, Logan noticed I hadn't submitted a single expense request in three days, he reached out to me on his own for the first time ever. "Baby, I've already approved the next phase of your wolf's healing. See? As long as you learn to behave, there's nothing I won't give you." His tone was still so affectionate, as if he were truly a good Alpha, worried sick over his mate. But he didn't know that as his "Baby" flashed across my phone screen, I had already finished drafting the agreement to sever our mate bond. Before I left, the only thing I could take with me was the old T-shirt I had worn when he marked me. No one would ever believe that the beloved Luna of the Blackmoon Pack, in the three years since our bonding ceremony, couldn't even scrape together five decent dresses of her own. Every household expense I incurred had to be approved by the Luna's seal, the very symbol of my power. "Sienna, managing the books is too tiring. It will wear you out." "Just let Chloe handle the tedious work with the seal. All you have to do is be beautiful, be my perfect Luna." And so, the Luna's seal, which should have been mine, became something I had to beg for from Chloe, the Alpha's secretary who was supposedly "handling the tedious work for me." Three days ago, my wolf was on the verge of collapsing. I cried and begged him for the two hundred thousand needed for an emergency intervention. But Chloe deliberately withheld the seal, delaying approval by claiming improper procedure. Finally, my already fractured wolf went completely silent in the depths of my soul. And with that, I was done with this Alpha, too.

Ako si Loukrisha Makabajo, ang NOT SO BEAUTY na dalagang sumabak sa pagkakasambahay makatulong lang sa pamilya at sa kasamaang palad, isang gwapong BEAST ang naging amo ko, si Spencer Mackenzie na kung ilalarawan ang ugali ay mas malala pa sa isang halimaw na naiisip ninyo.Sa pagdating kaya ng panahon ay maaari ding maging isang prinsepe ang BEAST na katulad niya kagaya ng nangyari sa isang kwento sa fairytale?Pwede rin kaya na ang isang NOT SO BEAUTY na kagaya ko ay magkaroon ng happily ever after kasama niya?