Yo Mama So Old Jokes

"Don’t move an inch, continue fucking her!" I screamed. "Asssshley pleassse!" He pleaded, with tears coming out of his eyes. "What’s that? No! Don’t cry, you are a guy. Don’t you want this?" I asked, glaring at him. Ashley Barbie Gates, a pimp, a sex addict, and queen of the streets, was a lover of hot guys. She had sex with all the hot guys that came her way, and even ruined her mother’s life because of it by having an affair with her stepfather. She was heartbroken when she found her best friend in bed with her boyfriend. She swore to take revenge on all men and always dump them, but she was stuck between a rock and a hard place when she was asked by her father to get married as soon as possible. Xander Aiden Carter, a police officer, found himself entangled with the mafia queen when his sister sold him to her. How will he escape from her clutches? When he is in constant torment by her. How will she let go of her hatred for men and settle down with just one man? And who will it be? Who will melt the heart of the broken queen?

Gia Glass. But I'm not made of glass. I've mingled with sharks and wolves all who have the intension of swallowing me whole. I'm drowning in debt and the only solution I have is to marry a ruthless loan shark or become a high class proustite. That's until Bradley Wolfe shows up in my life, he doesn't save me, but I will have to marry him in order to save my estranged father from his own harrowing fate. Bradley is everything I feared he would be, but in the end will he be my saving grace when my world continues to spiral or the thing that pushes me down? Book #2 Sold for Gold & Bells (Lilly's Novella) Emilia or Lilly as her friends call her is meek, predictable and does everything to make everyone else happy. When Rocco a loan shark recognizes her at her best friend's wedding it sparks a passion that should never happen. Lilly finds herself in a web of lies she can't get out of. It gets worse when her boss leaves her thousands of dollars in debt before he flees the country. All that lands her back into Rocco's arms and living a double life to clear the debt. Will good girl finally break free and choose passion and adventure or will the dangers of the new world she's found drive her back to safety?

How will you feel when you end up with the same person you were trying to find an escape from? How will you feel when you end up in a one-night stand with your Ex-husband? Her eyes fluttered as she felt the morning cool breeze brushing against her bare body, which was semi-covered with a quilt. Although her eyes felt heavy to even blink, her other senses were high alert. She could hear the bird chirping outside the windows, she could smell a familiar masculine cologne, her body covered with goosebumps with the presence of someone familiar, and her heart beats rapidly on its own accord. That's when her brain registered her surroundings and could recollect her last passionate night with someone who would be her soon-to-be ex-husband. How? When? Why? She mentally slapped herself, but then she couldn't hide the contentment. She felt as if she was complete now. She couldn't stop but feel happy again. Why? Why does she feel like falling in love again? "I see you are still the w***e you were back then," his words broke her little dream she just thought of. "A desperate woman like you, who can with her ex-husband, can no wonder w***e around any men." He said with no remorse. "I did the right thing by divorcing you. How much do you charge for a night?" he smirked, looking at her teary face. "Here! Take extra 200 bucks for the sake of our old times." She vowed never to cry in front of her husband, but what he said just now shattered her soul beyond repair. Her quivering body and hollow eyes didn't hide the agony she felt at that very moment. "Sorry for loving you."

SIX PACK SERIES BOOK FOUR ~ BROCK : I don't believe in happy endings. I stopped believing in them right around the time the woman I loved left me for another man. Love nearly destroyed me once, and when I picked myself back up, I swore I'd never be that stupid again. If you never give someone your heart, they can't break it- so for years, I've closed myself off; never opening up, never feeling. Growing more bitter as everyone around me finds their happy endings. Then I met Astrid. She's annoyingly perky, infuriatingly beautiful, and seems convinced that her cheerful little-miss-sunshine act can melt the ice around my heart. Worst of all, though, is some part of me wants her- and a girl like that is dangerous in my hands. She'll give me every piece of herself, only for her to break when I can't give her anything in return. ~ ASTRID : My whole life, I've gone with my gut. I get feelings about things and people that others don't get, and I've been told that it's a special gift; that I'm an 'intuitive'. I've also been accused of being an eternal optimist, which is why I'm thrown for a loop when I get hit with a gut feeling about the moodiest, broodiest guy I've ever met, like we're supposed to be something to each other. Like we're connected somehow. Trusting my gut has never let me down before, but the more time I spend with Brock, the more I wonder whether my 'gift' has gone haywire. This guy has built walls around his heart a mile thick, and he's not letting anyone through. He's living his life in the darkness, and I'm a little afraid that if I let myself get too close to him, he'll steal my light.

Samantha, a simple girl wants nothing than to be with her prince charming, but she was cheated by the people she called family. She was forced to carry a stranger's baby so they would gain fifty million dollars. As for her, she was never in their plan. She was kicked out immediately she delivered the baby. Her malicious step sister even snatched her boyfriend. Left with nothing, she flew out of Breaton City to start her life afresh. She even got a job as a cook in the Presidential residence. But why did she feel familiar with the little boy who is the son of the President? Just when she thought the boy had won her heart, will she fall....for his daddy too? "Rule No 1, you are not meant to touch my son! If you do that again next time, I will cut off your arms from your shoulders!" "Yes sir!"

Adena was sold to a boarding school by her wicked uncle where she was raised and trained to become a sex slave to one of the most dangerous mafia leaders in the world. Unknown to her that her life would soon become more sour than she thought. Logan is a ruthless and feared mafia leader who doesn't care about anybody's feelings, he is tagged heartless by the few who have seen him. What happens when Adena comes into his dark world and becomes the light he has been searching for? What made him heartless in the first place? And will they learn to love each other or is their hatred for each other strong enough to keep them apart forever?

SEQUEL OUT!! CLICK ON MY PROFILE TO CHECK IT OUT (SINFUL OBSESSION #2 IN THE BULLY'S OBSESSION) Warning:strong languages and explicit dark mature scenes such as abuse and torture . Read at your own risk "You are completely mine Gracie, your tears , fears, I'm going to completely shatter you until you know nothing else but my name"I never knew how twisted he was until this moment..."I'm n...not yours" I stutteredHis gaze darkened and harderned at my words"I dare you to say that again" he said taking a threatening step closerI opened my mouth but no words came out Next thing i was trapped between him and the wall ,both my hands pinned above my head, my knees weakened by his domineering look"You belong to me! your body and soul belongs to me, I'll mark you again and again......" He whispered nibbling at my throatHow did I get into this? Was there no way out?He'd already broken me ,what else could he expect from a broken soulThis was the guy who took everything from me, my pride ,my virginity and seven my soulShe's a quiet kind and warmhearted average nerdGraciela's only wish was to graduate highschool, go to college and get a good life and if she was ever so lucky find love, but a certain someone seems to hate everything she stood forOr does he?Hayden McAndrew Has been Graciela's tormentor for as long as she could remember but he leftAnd Gracie made the mistake to think it was forever now he was back to make her life a living hell!They say a very thing line exists between love and hate, what if after the line all she found was a dark obsession that consumed her every being ?

Kari had nothing to lose but his life. Being an Omega born with a gift, he decided to die along with those he killed. That was the plan, at least. But what happens when he woke up alive behind enemy lines and being given to a man who could change his life forever? ***** Ryedir planned to live his life in solitude. Being an Alpha and a Prince, he had decided to dedicate his life to governing his province. That was his plan, at least. But what happens when an unknown omega with a dark past was gifted to him? Will they unravel the fire underlying their cold facade? Or will they both stay forever frozen?

There was a time when Nyla believed that walking down the aisle with Clark, after being together since their university years, would be the happiest moment of her life. It was only when Clark cheated on her that she realized true love and growing old together were rare. More often than not, relationships ended in separation and loss. After their divorce, she swore she would never give her heart away again. But, Damon—Clark’s youngest uncle—barged into Nyla’s life and gave her no chance to escape. She kept trying to distance herself, not wanting any more ties with her ex’s family. Damon, however, pursued her relentlessly, determined to have her in his arms. "Uncle Damon, we're not right for each other." Damon gently pinched Nyla’s chin, forcing her to look him in the eyes. "You and Clark are divorced. How am I still your uncle? "Besides, how do you know we’re not right for each other when you haven't tried?" "I’ve tried," Nyla replied. "Then try again," Damon said. "Keep trying until it feels right." Nyla was at a loss for words.

‘Callie,’ he began, his voice husky, ‘crying over your ex-boyfriend won’t solve anything.’ Confusion etched across her face, Callie furrowed her brows. ‘Then what will? ’ she demanded, her voice tinged with frustration. Elias leaned closer, his warm breath caressing her cheek. ‘You need to show him what he’s lost. Find a man who’s more handsome, more powerful, and richer than him. Then, make a grand entrance into his life with your new partner.’ Callie scoffed, her eyes rolling in disbelief. ‘Where am I supposed to find someone like that? ’ Elias’s fingers gently lifted her chin, locking their gazes together. ‘I can be that man,’ he said. ‘If you agree to be with me, I’ll protect you from any harm, including your ex-boyfriend.’ ********************************************** Elias Westwood, billionaire heir turned professional solider, a commanding presence on the battlefield, conceals a tender heart that beats for only one woman——Callie Hawthorne, a fearless surgical resident, possesses an innocent charm and wields her skills like a warrior in the operating theatre. Their first encounter thrusts them into a dangerous game of deception. Elias uses Callie as a pawn, their lips locked in a passionate kiss, fooling his pursuers. In that moment, Callie feels the allure of the enigmatic soldier, and a strange connection sparks between them. An impulsive decision seals their fate—a hasty marriage to escape an arranged union and prove Callie’s readiness to move on from a past love. Little did they know, this act would propel them onto an unforeseen path. Will Elias and Callie emerge unscathed from the shadows, or will their sacrifices shatter their dreams forever? Discover their fight for a future filled with hope, trust, and the promise of a happy ending.