Yo Mama So Old Jokes

Ang boyfriend ko ay forensic doctor. Nakidnap ako at may nakadikit na bomba—meron na lamang sampung minuto bago sumabog. Ang mga nagkidnap sa akin ay pinilit na tawagan ko ang boyfriend ko, pero napagalitan lamang ako. “Ano bang kailangan mo, Michelle? Anong pinaplano mo, ginagamit ang buhay mo bilang palusot dahil lang nagseselos ka?” “Ang pusa ni Vi ay hindi makuha mula sa puno ng tatlong araw na. Mahal niya ito na parang ang buhay nito ay buhay niya! Kung idedelay mo ako sa pagligtas dito, magiging mamamatay tao ka!” Nakarinig ako ng malanding boses sa kabilang dulo ng tawag. “Salamat para dito, Kev. Ang husay mo!” Nakilala ko ang boses na iyon—pagmamay ari ito ng childhood friend ng boyfriend ko. Tinext ko ang boyfriend ko ng sasabog na ang bomba. “Paalam habang buhay. Pinagdadasal ko na hindi na tayo magkita pang muli sa ibang buhay.”

Phoenix’s life takes a disastrous turn when she wakes up in a grimy hotel room just two days before her mating ceremony. Her life is ruined, and she didn’t need a soothsayer to tell her because not only is their a lingering smell on the sheet, which indicates that she has been unfaithful, Dylan is in the hotel room yelling profanities at her. By her unexplained actions, she has become disgraced, banished, and may have sparked a war between her pack and Dylan’s. Werewolves mate for a life, and a broken mating arrangement is an unforgivable sin. At 16, Phoenix was promised to Dylan as a way to unify their packs after years of rivalry. An alliance now broken by her infidelity. Although she would have preferred to wait for her chosen mate, she has long accepted that being Dylan’s chosen mate and Luna of his pack is a fate she can endure. Now branded as a disgrace and banished, Phoenix has been replaced by her half sister as Dylan’s mate. Exiled from the home she has always known, Phoenix is left to wander the forests as a rogue. Her central thought is to survive and navigate life alone whilst looking for a pack that will take her in, but she must face all her fears one at a time. Her life in exile takes an unexpected twist when she finds her true mate in the most unexpected way. How does she keep the secret of being the fated golden wolf? How does she stay away from her chosen mate to keep her secret? Will she learn to harness her powers and save her kind from a looming war with the hunters? Like her name, will she rise from the ashes?

“I will not let you take me alive” was the last thing she said before it all went dark. Watching both her parents murdered and their kingdom torn to ruins, it seems Leiya's life cannot get any worse, but it does. She is forcefully torn away from her sister and sent as a gift to appease Helion, ruler of the Kaltain Kingdom, the most powerful demon to ever exist, the "Prince of Hell", but Leiya is determined to keep her fathers dying wish. She will find her sister, Nayla at all cost, and not even Helion can stand in her way.

Adriana Hayes never knew the true nature of her father’s dangerous life until he sold her. Now, she’s been handed over to Hunter Rivers, one of the most feared and powerful gang leaders in the city. Cold, ruthless, and determined to keep control over everything around him, Hunter doesn’t hesitate to claim Adriana as his own. What he doesn’t expect is the spark between them a spark that challenges everything he’s built his empire on. Adriana, caught between fear and attraction, finds herself torn between wanting to escape and the undeniable pull she feels toward the man who now holds her captive. As the days pass, their dangerous dance of power, control, and desire grows more complicated. Adriana discovers that beneath Hunter’s cold exterior lies a man who may have his own demons and the more she learns, the harder it becomes to keep her distance. But in a world where trust is a luxury and betrayal is always lurking, falling for the enemy could be the most dangerous choice of all. Will Adriana remain strong and fight for her freedom, or will she surrender to the passion that threatens to consume them both?

magkakaroon kaya ng second chance ang dalawang nagmamahalan??? sana po ay subaybayan niyo po ang aking sinulat para sainyo. maraming salamat po

Excerpt from the story: "What is this?" Alpha Ryder barks, pounding on the throne's armrest and smashing it to bits in rage. The trembling pack doctor replies in fear, her body shivering, "It... it's your wife's pregnancy report... She's pregnant... with triplets!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` Alvina was dismayed when she found that her vile Alpha stepfather sold her to the most ruthless Alpha King, Ryder Winterfield, to be a breeder. She finds to her surprise on reaching Black Soul pack that the feared Alpha King's her mate, but he cruelly rejects her soon after. With no other choice, as her life is in great peril after being tested negative for pregnancy, she accepts a stranger's help to escape the pack and from her husband's clutches, willing to pay anything as the price. Alpha Ryder Winterfield, a ruthless man who murdered his entire family to get the throne, agrees to get the 6th breeder from the sly Alpha king of Blood Stone pack. He is stunned to find out the breeder who goes by the name of Alvina is his mate but he isn't ready for commitment. He just wants an heir and she can get lost. But he somehow is attracted to her, though he denies it. But when he's ready to tell her that she won't die, even if she isn't able to get pregnant within the earlier stated 30 days, and that he was willing to spend the rest of his life with her, he finds to his dismay that she has escaped with his unborn children. So he has a goal he must achieve- find his runaway Luna and the hidden triplets! Dive into the masterpiece that's abundant in romance, humor, mind-blowing plot twists, mystery, and amazeballs thrill that keeps you glued to your seat.

She looked away as a flush crept up her cheeks, "It is okay if you find my proposal too offensive. I apologize." She muttered and wanted to leave. Her legs felt too heavy to carry her as she tried to get away from the rude customer. "I am down for it, Ruby" A familiar male voice said behind her, "I'll give you what you want. You only need to sign the documents!” ******** Ruby finds herself agreeing to be the contracted wife of a man she knew nothing about just to save the life of her sister. He only calls her when he needs something from her and she's totally unaware about his identity except for his name. What happens when everyone finds out the wife of Jaxon? How will Ruby react when she realizes that she married the hottest bachelor in the city and that her life is now on a threat? Will they ever be able to fall in love and overcome all obstacles and will Jaxon be able to protect her? What happens when she finds out about a very big shocking secret of his, one that no one knows about? Find out in Hidden Wife of the Cold CEO

Leonor is a strong and empowered woman, with a businessman and ambitious husband. After one of her companies goes bankrupt, the only solution her husband finds is to accept a proposal from a mobster, who wants a night with Leonor. The attractive and intimidating mobster, Hard, surprises Leonor with a night that brings her many mixed feelings, and the fate that she insists on bringing them together while her husband Call tortures himself for giving her up to save his ego.

Si Ella ay lumaki sa isang orphanage at walang natatandaan mula sa nakaraan Niya. Dahil sa kanyang kabaitan ay naging malapit sakanya ang ina ng bilyonaryong si Heron Reymundo na naging dahilan ng sapilitang page papakasal dito. Naging maayos ang kanilang pagsasama hanggang sa mamatay ang ina ng kanyang asawa dahilan upang lumabas ang totoo nitong kulay nawawasak sa buong pagkatao Niya. Makakabangon pa kaya si Ella sa trahedyang ito lalo na at may Isang paslit na nabuo sakanyang sinapupunan.

"Mimpi apa gue punya suami dingin kayak dia?" Harapan Arin adalah memiliki suami yang hangat dan juga romantis. Namun, harapannya seolah musnah karena kenyataannya dia memiliki suami yang dingin dan juga cuek seperti Bagas. Arin mencoba membuka hatinya untuk Bagas, tapi Bagas seolah menutup diri. Akankah Arin mampu mencairkan hati Bagas yang dingin itu?